This is a question many social-media user faces after snapping a great photo: Should I post this? Or it going to come back to haunt me?
The questions get doubly complex when they involve people’s children. A parent on average will post almost 1,000 photos of a child online before the child turns 5.
Many parents don’t ask children’s permission before posting, and many have never checked their privacy settings —even though photos often contain data about where they were taken. While some kids don’t see anything wrong with it, some see it as Big deal.
For Lillian Durben of Silverlake, Washington, her mom Kate Durben was posting photos of her without permission. 14-year-old Lillian in a sit-down interview with “Good Morning America” said:
“To be honest, I was very upset.
Her mom said that although she knew her daughter didn’t want her to share certain pictures, she just couldn’t resist.
“I justified it by saying, ‘It’s fine, it’s a cute picture. Why wouldn’t she want me to share it?’. She looked cute … but that isn’t the issue, is it?”
READ ALSO: 6 Photos of Your Child you Should Not Post on Social Media
Lillian, on the other hand explained further:
“It really wasn’t the picture I was upset about. Mostly it was just because I asked her not to post my photo. I just was hurt after I clearly didn’t want her to.”
Kate has since deleted the pictures that her daughter had asked her not to share.
Even celebrity moms have found themselves in hot water. Actress Gwyneth Paltrow was recently scolded by her daughter, Apple after posting a photo of her on Instagram. Apple wrote in the comment section of the post:
“Mom, we have discussed this. You may not post anything without my consent.”
Jodi Gold, a child and adolescent psychologist who is the director of the Gold Center for Mind, Health and Wellness, said parents of middle schoolers and above should get consent from their children before posting. Gold told GMA:
“We’re all on social media and all of our kids are on social media, so we’re now going to have to navigate the parental-child relationship in the realm of social media.”
READ ALSO: 8 Things Parents Should Not Be Caught Doing On Social Media
Gold also warned that even if your kids are too young to care, you should still use discretion. Gold added:
“The naked [baby] pictures in the bathroom are really cute, but will the 20- or 25-year-old children really appreciate them? Probably not.”
And it’s not just photos. In April, an anonymous user who said he or she was in middle school vented on Reddit,
“…my mom has posted literally every aspect of my life … If we get in a fight, she’s on FB asking for advice. I feel like I have absolutely no privacy. I can’t talk to my own mother for fear she’ll post it on social media. I’m her child, not her dog.”
Gold said it’s important for parents to keep the dialogue open with their kids. She stated further:
“It is very dangerous if you start posting about what’s going on with you and your child, because you will shut down that dialogue immediately and you will lose your child’s trust. It’s fine to vent to friends but there’s appropriate places to vent, and social media is not the place.”
READ ALSO: Pop Queen & Mom-Of-6, Madonna Opens Up On How The Digital World Impacted Her Relationship With Her Older Children
Kate said she now sees that damage can be done if you don’t respect your child’s wishes. She said of her daughter:
“She’s got her own image to manage.”
Photo credit: Instagram/ GoodMorningAmerica
Tags: Jodi Gold, Kate Durben, Lillian Durben, Social media
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