Psychologist Explains Why It Is Actually Good For Your Children To Argue With Each Other

Whether or not we like it, children are going to bicker; it could be over a biscuit, toys or something even more important- but it will happen. The concern for most parents is whether their kids arguing will be the beginning of a bitter sibling feud or rivalry but psychologist and founder of Hey Sigmund, Karen Young says sibling fighting is a very important part of childhood development.

While it may be stressful for you to deal with, it can actually be good for the children, and maybe you should not overthink it. Young explained why in a recent interview with babyology.co.au.

READ ALSO: 8 Ways to Curb Sibling Rivalry in Your Home

According to Young, arguing with a sibling can help a child learn how to better handle social situations.

She said:

“One of the best things that come out of it, is they learn skills that will boost their social-emotional intelligence.

It’s all part of their growth, and siblings are pretty unforgiving, so kids have to learn how to negotiate and how not to annoy the world and to get on with people.

If they go too far in getting their way, there’s going to be push-back on that, but eventually the idea is that they’ll learn that if they want something, they have to give a bit as well.”

She said:

“One of the best things that come out of it, is they learn skills that will boost their social-emotional intelligence.

It’s all part of their growth, and siblings are pretty unforgiving, so kids have to learn how to negotiate and how not to annoy the world and to get on with people.

“If they go too far in getting their way, there’s going to be push-back on that, but eventually the idea is that they’ll learn that if they want something, they have to give a bit as well.”

Young encourages parents to do this by turning the tables on a child who may have done wrong by their sibling, by taking them aside to ask what they would need if the situation were reversed.

But she firmly states that no matter how frustrating the squabbling gets, you shouldn’t intervene too much – unless someone is going to get hurt.

“We need to not fix it for them,” she adds. “The more we jump in, the more they’ll rely on us to jump in.”

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