Dear MIMsters: Help! My Daughter Is Frustrating All My Efforts And I Fear I May Lose It

My husband left me with three children and eloped with my ‘best’ friend. And though I was angry, I decided I was going to pick myself up, make efforts to make something great out of my life and that of my three children.

I was a school teacher with the state government and I had a few side hustles to make ends meet after his exit.

After pushing so hard for two years, there was an opening for me to go to Dublin for a nanny job. I would be earning what was equivalent to my 18-months’ salary put together as a school teacher in 2-months over there. I thought it was a good idea.

After much deliberation and considering that my children were ages 15, 13, and 13 (Twin boys), I arranged with my cousin to let them move in with her family while I proceeded to Dublin. It wasn’t an easy decision for me to take but it seemed the best as at then. I was still responsible for their upkeep financially anyways.

A year later, my first daughter gained admission into the university. I was overjoyed and I provided her with everything she asked for. I also ensured she has more than enough.

When she got into final year, she requested for money for her final project and I sent it to her. Though my cousin would sometimes complain that I was giving my daughter too much money, I would always tell her it wasn’t so. I would explain to her that I was doing that to ensure she never had to rely on any man to provide for her.

Yet, everytime I asked my daughter for her school result, she would always give me some flimsy excuses. So I discussed my concern with my cousin who promised to stop by at the school to check on my behalf.

The long and short of it all was that my daughter has been out of school since she was in part 2 and she never mentioned it to anyone –not me, not my cousin. She was asked why she didn’t mention it at home and what she’s been doing with the school fees and project money she’s been collecting from me. Can you believe my daughter has been ‘sowing’ my money into the life of a pastor who told her that his God is able to overturn her situation and that the school would reabsorb her? We also found out that she wasn’t the only one in that situation, and they all have been ‘sowing’ their fees for a miracle to happen.

I have instructed my cousin to get that pastor arrested, and I’m thinking of moving back to Nigeria. My cousin thinks I am overreacting if I pack my bags and return to Nigeria, where many are trying to run away from.

Please, advise me. Should I return to Nigeria or stay back in Dublin because my twin sons are still in the university, and I’m the one sponsoring them, all alone.