Media personality & First Time Mom, Toyosi Etim -Effiong Shares Her Conflicting Emotions At Postpartum

Postpartum depression is a topic that is yet to gain proper attention in Nigeria; thankfully, so many women are beginning to share their experiences to prepare new mothers and also how to deal with it.

While postpartum experiences vary from one woman to another, the need for support cannot be overstated.

Producer, TV Presenter and foodpreneur, Toyosi Etim -Effiong, didn’t go through depression, but she felt lost. With a beautiful marriage and baby, the first time mom said she felt purposeless as she wasn’t doing anything but take care of her baby.

The mom-of-one wrote…

”Not enough stories about the postpartum mindset so I’d like to share mine.

Lost. Not depressed but lost. Who am I? Why am I here again? After spending months nurturing life and bringing life to the world, it’s only normal that you spend an immense amount of time taking care of the little human you’ve birthed. I stopped caring about me.

It was a slow build not something that happened overnight. All the care I had was divided between husband and baby. I was intent on not making my husband feel like a third wheel as I’d seen people do and of course I cared a lot about my little human.

READ ALSO: “Tears overwhelmed me daily” Georgina Onuoha Talks About Suffering Postpartum Depression

Has she eaten? Is she wet? Why is she crying? She hasn’t smiled in an hour. Nap time. Bath time. Play time. Bed time. Baby, baby, baby. Snap. Snap. Snap. Pictures and videos to friends, pictures and videos to family. Awww she’s so cute. Thank you. Very few how are you?s. Loads of how is baby? —

7 months post-birth with no 9 – 5 or project to give me purpose or at least something to do, I found myself asking, “Who am I again?” Who am I without making reference to anybody else? So yes I’m #DanielsWife and yes I’m mother to a beautiful, dimpled girl but away from them, who am I? What is my gift to this world? What is my purpose? I had forgotten #postpartum—-

To everyone who has gone through or is going through the baby blues or #postpartum depression- especially those who are alone or with no one around who understands- I’m so sorry! I UNDERSTAND!! YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! It’s a phase and it will pass. We are JOYFUL mothers of children (Psalm 113:9) and that joy will not be stolen from us! —-

READ ALSO: How To Help Another Mum Deal With Postpartum Depression, PPD

I’d just like to add for all my single sisters, yes marriage is beautiful and children are a wonderful gift from God but take it from me- they don’t give PURPOSE. At least they haven’t for me. There’s a void that my husband and baby (ies) have not and cannot fill so please don’t make marriage and childbirth your ultimate goal in life. Please. I beg you. —-”

Toyosi Phillips is married to actor/producer Daniel Etim Effiong. The two tied the knot two years ago.

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Not enough stories about the postpartum mindset so I’d like to share mine. … Lost. Not depressed but lost. Who am I? Why am I here again? After spending months nurturing life and bringing life to the world, it’s only normal that you spend an immense amount of time taking care of the little human you’ve birthed. I stopped caring about me. It was a slow build not something that happened overnight. All the care I had was divided between husband and baby. I was intent on not making my husband feel like a third wheel as I’d seen people do and of course I cared a lot about my little human. Has she eaten? Is she wet? Why is she crying? She hasn’t smiled in an hour. Nap time. Bath time. Play time. Bed time. Baby, baby, baby. Snap. Snap. Snap. Pictures and videos to friends, pictures and videos to family. Awww she’s so cute. Thank you. Very few how are you?s. Loads of how is baby? —- 7 months post-birth with no 9 – 5 or project to give me purpose or at least something to do, I found myself asking, “Who am I again?” Who am I without making reference to anybody else? So yes I’m #DanielsWife and yes I’m mother to a beautiful, dimpled girl but away from them, who am I? What is my gift to this world? What is my purpose? I had forgotten #postpartum —- I’d just like to add for all my single sisters, yes marriage is beautiful and children are a wonderful gift from God but take it from me- they don’t give PURPOSE. At least they haven’t for me. There’s a void that my husband and baby(ies) have not and cannot fill so please don’t make marriage and childbirth your ultimate goal in life. Please. I beg you. —- New moms, old moms how are you my darling sisters? Care to share your experience? What was your postpartum frame of mind? How did you get over it if it was negative? Please share. Help someone.

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