Dear MIMsters: Am I Wrong To Ask The Man Who Says He Wants To Marry Me Do This Simple Thing

Is there anything wrong with asking a man who says he wants to marry me do this simple thing?

I have been dating this guy for almost three years. It’s been a long distance relationship and he has met my family. But surprisingly, after he returned to where he is based, he has never called my mum, even though he has her number. He only asks after her from me, when he remembers to.

This has been a source of worry to me because I believe being Nigerians, we are getting married to each other’s families. Is it wrong to call my mum once in a while to ask about her well being?

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If his parents were alive, I would have taken them as mine by now. Whenever I mention it, he says he is a private person and he is marrying just me, not my family. Sometimes he goes as far as accusing me of trying to push my family’s financial burden on his head.

My mum is a widow but heaven can bear me witness that I have never asked him for a dime to support my mum. She has never asked him too. The first and only time I asked him to help me with 50k was to augment her rent because her landlord was about throwing her out. This made him break up with me, claiming he hates people who ask him for money.

When we reconciled, I decided never to ask him for help and we have been fine. He sends me money like once in two months. But whenever I mention that I would love for him to at least call my mum and just say hi at least, he accuses me of being ungrateful. He starts talking about how he has placed me on a budget and yet, I want to push my family’s financial burden on to him.

This is a man who claims he helps other widows. I am not even asking him to send money to my mum. I’m only asking for him to just call and greet her. My mum has been telling me that she doesn’t think he is a serious suitor. If he was, he would have kept in touch after I took him home to see the family.

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Yesterday, something happened and it brought up the issue of him not keeping in touch with my mum and how it has been a source of worry to me. I don’t want to marry a man who will not accept my family as his own. The conversation ended with him calling me ungrateful as usual and telling me to get another man who will put me on a budget (not a monthly budget) and also carry my mother’s financial burden. He said he is no longer interested in the relationship and he has blocked my number.

Mimsters, considering that we are not officially husband and wife yet, did I do something wrong by asking that he communicates with my mum more often? Aren’t potential in laws supposed to do so? I think I am ready to move on but please, I want to be sure I am not in the wrong by asķing him to show more care for my mum by calling to say hello. Am I being too forward to ask this of him?

1 Discussion on “Dear MIMsters: Am I Wrong To Ask The Man Who Says He Wants To Marry Me Do This Simple Thing”
  • Just like the man said, he is marrying you and not your mother. You seem to have an ulterior, insidious and shady motive and the man is better off without you. What would he call your mum to discuss? The weather, price of “pure water”?
    This is a man that has placed you on a budget despite your having your own sources of income. Why don’t you just transfer the budget to your mum? Must you and your family be so parasitic.? If you really love the chap, let him move on and you need to find your self a reql mugu.

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