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Dear MIMsters: Did I Do Wrong To Give MIL This Kind of Reception When She Came To Visit?

Did I do wrong to give MIL the kind of reception I gave her when she came visiting?

I grew up as an orphan. My siblings and I were barely 10-years old when we lost our parents in quick succession. We, however, got a kind friend of my late mother’s who took us in and cared for us just like she did her own children.

No one could separate us from her children because she raised us all alike. Every act of kindness we learnt was from this woman whom we dearly called, “Mum”. She was kind to everyone she related with and she is reaping a good reward of her labour till date.

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This was the value I was raised with, so going overboard to satisfy everyone that comes my way is no big deal to me. So when hubby always tells me people do not deserve the kindness I show to them, I would always disagree with him.

We have been married for 5-years now, and we have 2 children. MIL lives in the village and we visit every end of the year. My siblings and ‘mum’ all live in the US now. Every time we go to visit in the village, I would ensure we take decent gifts for MIL & FIL.

About 3-months ago, MIL said she was coming to the city to spend some time with us. I was happy about it but hubby was sceptical about his mother’s visit. Well, I didn’t see any big deal in the woman coming to spend some time with her grandchildren. Hubby’s business isn’t doing so well presently so I have had to carry more responsibilities that I have always done. My siblings have also been of great help to us.

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I stocked up the house with the kind of foods MIL could eat and when she arrived, I did everything within my power to make her one month stay with us a pleasant one for her. When she took ill; I took her to the hospital and ensured that she got every medication prescribed. I got her new wrappers, took her for photoshoot, etc.

However, rather than for hubby to hail me for caring for his mother, he kept warning me to be careful. He said I was sending a wrong message by caring for MIL like I was doing. For the life of me, I couldn’t understand why a child would be so thoughtless towards his mother.

Well, now I know.

MIL has been back at the village since 2-months ago, and in those two months, we have had different (some very ridiculous) demands from her, FIL, uncles & aunties in the village. MIL probably informed all of them that hubby and I are living in luxury. In fact, one of hubby’s uncles is asking that we accommodate two of his children and help him raise them to University level.

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I have had to ask my siblings for financial assistance to cover up for hubby every now and then, and they are asking me questions already. They are wondering why my demands are frequent these days and I am afraid to tell them what is really going on. Hubby on his own has not stopped blaming me for his current woes. He said he warned me but I did not heed his warnings.

Did I do wrong to have cared for my MIL the way I did? The pressure increases by the day, and as we prepare to visit the village again next month, I am afraid of the kind of demands that may come to us. What do I do? 

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