Stephanie Busari, Nigerian-born CNN correspondent, has advised young ladies against rushing into marriage. She shared how she is yet to recover from the sadness caused by the crash of her marriage ten years ago and admitted that it is difficult for her to be publicly vulnerable, but that it is just as hard to sit back and watch other young women make the same mistake as her.
The mum-of-one narrated how pressure from her parents and family drove her into a marriage that lasted for three years. According to her, she left her failed marriage with a beautiful daughter and a bag full of regrets.
Stephanie revealed she was an early accomplisher but that none of her successes – without a man, meant much to her parents and family. She eventually bowed to pressure and got married to a man that she was completely incompatible with.
Read her words below:
#MarriageStory Ten years ago today I got married. It lasted 3 years and I came away with a beautiful daughter and a heart full of (some) regrets. Does one mark such an auspicious occasion? Or just quietly acknowledge as one of the hopes and dreams that didn’t quite pan out?
10 years later, and I am still so sad at how miserable I was. My ex-husband was not a bad person, but we were just desperately incompatible. Even I was surprised we ended up together! Make sure and be doubly sure and be sure again before you say I do.
I got married largely due to pressure. It enveloped me like a cloud. Every time an embossed handwritten envelope thudded through the letter box ‘inviting the pleasure of my parents company.’ I heard my mother’s heavy sigh, my father’s questioning glances.
These women feel like Mr Right Now is better than Mr Right, as long as they become a Mrs. Please DON’T do it! The sadness of an unhappy marriage and home seeps into your soul. It is crushing and turns you into a shell of who you are.
Responding to the overwhelming and supportive feedback she got, she wrote:
“Thank you for all the kind messages and DMs. I rarely talk about my personal life, but I speak to so many young women feeling pressure to get married because of an imaginary timeline or a ticking biological clock.
Thank you so much! I don’t find it easy to be vulnerable and sharing about my marriage was tough. BUT the DMs from men and women going through the same & who feel a sense of release has been so worth it. I will respond to you all. We don’t have it all together and that is ok.”
See the original thread:
#MarriageStory Ten years ago today I got married. It lasted 3 years and I came away with a beautiful daughter and a heart full of (some) regrets. Does one mark such an auspicious occasion? Or just quietly acknowledge as one of the hopes and dreams that didn’t quite pan out?
