Dear MIMsters: How Do I Make What My Husband Did Go Away?

I’m very much depressed right now and need advice on this issue. I don’t know how to make how I feel about what my husband did to me go away. It’s been so hard.
 
A few months ago, my husband took me to go see a pastor friend of his. When we got there, the Pastor first of all spoke to each of us privately, before speaking to us together.
My husband confessed to cheating on me with another woman and begged for forgiveness, that he was sorry, didn’t know what overcame him and that he has been stupid.
 
I nearly left the house that evening but for the love of my 3 kids, I stayed.
 
Before this issue came up, I’ve been battling with vaginal discharge and odour. Now, I realize where that came from. I’ve never experienced this in our 7 years of marriage. I’m still struggling to treat it and I’ve told him to go check himself for any STIs.
 
Prior to this, I saw a message on his phone from a woman who said she wanted to eat banana that evening, but I ignored it because I trusted him so much, not knowing it is the same woman he had the affair with on two occasions.
 
He claims he has ended things with her because it was affecting his prayer life and commitment to God.
 
I decided to throw away all his boxers and briefs and told him to get new ones. I also changed all my panties. I can’t imagine washing his briefs and not thinking about his affair.
 
He’s never for ones shirked on his responsibility and we just recently moved into our own house but this news of his cheating, has devastated me and I have lost complete trust for him as I now question his every move.
 
I didn’t use to check his phone but now, I’m always trying to check his messages. He has given me several assurances that it will not happen again but I don’t want to believe that.
 
Lately, I’ve been feeling so depressed and detached. Now, I have no one else, except my kids. My husband used to keep me going, he was my everything, but now, I feel empty and like I have no purpose on earth. I have prayed several times but this hurt and feeling of unworthiness doesn’t seem to want to go away. What do I do now?

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