Dear MIMsters: Help! My Husband And In-Laws Are In A Gang Up Against Me

My husband and in-laws are in a gang up against me has made me decide to take a walk for good.

He has been my husband for 8-years and we have a child between us. I have always been business inclined while he runs a law firm with a friend of his. He would complain every now and then about how their firm isn’t getting the juiciest contracts and contacts, about how his partner has developed the attitude of going behind his back to sort himself out and all sorts.

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I run a branding business and we were at our peak period when I spoke to him about getting more capital to help my business.

Two days later, he told me he could pump in some millions of Naira into my business but would like to have equal shares with me. Since he was the lawyer, I asked him to draw up a contract and I would get another lawyer to look into it for me. He told me that getting another lawyer to look into whatever he drafted meant that I didn’t trust him enough to represent both our interests adequately. And like the obedient wife, I succumbed and I allowed him to do as he wished.

My initial capital was 5 Million Naira and he decided to double it.

Thereafter, he stopped giving me allowances to run the home. All bills – school fees, electricity, house rent, feeding, holidays and all was funded from the proceeds of ‘our’ business. I put in more work and fate smiled on me at every stage. I was also very faithful about finances and disbursement.

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Sometimes, he would ask me to credit his account which I would do, though most times, reluctantly. Reason being that not only did he stop giving me money to run the home, he also does not put in any effort in helping with the business. He would neither market it nor stop by at the office to see how we operate. He is a silent partner whose only interest is spending from the proceeds of the business. Though he still runs his law firm, he is never accountable about what he makes from there. He spends his money on his various side chicks some of who end up displaying him on social media.

I had developed so much coping mechanism with this man such that I had become blind to his self-centredness.

A few days ago, I got a call from my oldest SIL who asked me to leave my office and come home immediately. She said they were waiting for me. They? They who? She said I shouldn’t question her but I should just come. I called my mum to inform her but she said she was also called and that she was on her way to my house with my younger sister and brother. I called hubby to ask him what the problem was but he didn’t answer his call.

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Lo and behold, when I entered into my house, I met FIL, SILs, BIL, my mum, my sister, my brother, hubby and one of his uncles. I was shocked!

I even thought he probably had impregnated some woman and I was rehearsing how I would react to such an issue!

I greeted them and called my house keeper to entertain them but they said that could come after the matter on ground. What matter?

Hubby had called a meeting with his family where he reported to them that he gave me 10M to run a business and that I have refused to give him an account of how I run the business. The previous week, I had sold my old car and added money to buy a better one. It was a necessity for me to change my car. Before I changed mine, hubby had changed his twice but as far as he was concerned, as a man, he was entitled to a good life and as a woman, I wasn’t. I mean, I work really hard and for the first time, I thought I deserved a treat, too.

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Well, as could be expected, the only thing my in-laws heard was 10 million Naira. All I tried to explain to them entered through one ear and flew out the other way. My SIL said and I quote: “See me here labouring like my life would end any moment from now, and one small girl (referring to me) would milk my brother dry?! A whole 10million naira and all you could do is to buy a new car? You have only one child and have refused to born another one, yet you will not allow my brother rest? You are eating his money and denying him of being a man in the eyes of his people!”

I can’t type all the derogatory words they said to me while he sat there nodding. My mum and siblings tried to placate his people but they asked them to rather tell me to produce the 10m I collected from their brother.

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Well, the conclusion is that they were giving me three months to give the money back or they would be forced to seize my business from me. I have no idea how to raise that money, maybe they want me to go into prostitution. I plan to pay back this money and take a walk from this marriage.

What do you think?

2 Discussions on
“Dear MIMsters: Help! My Husband And In-Laws Are In A Gang Up Against Me”
  • Before you do anything, do a thorough audit of the business, an audited financial report.
    Secondly, approach a second lawyer and scrutinise the document you signed with your husband.
    Thirdly, move all your valuables (property documents and jewelry etc) to a safe location.
    Scout for a place you can stay in case things turn messy.
    Is your child still young, plan for where to keep your child cause they will threaten you with the child.
    Be very careful who you speak to and whatever you say. Walls have ears.
    If there is no way out, refund the money as you can, after going through and subtracting his own proceeds and expenses.
    Personally, if I was in your shoes, I know the marriage is over.

  • Dear Mimster, you signed a contract when he gave you this money. I would like you to refer to the terms and agreement. Call a lawyer and let him advice you.
    Another option is to pay him and forget the contract but remember he has been collecting money from you. If you have records of all the money he has collected, make photocopies and give him the balance. Let there be another family meeting when you are giving him back his money. Let him acknowledge it.

    He is a dangerous man. I wonder if he wants to continue with the marriage after what he has done. He must have done this because he wants to move on.
    Don’t leave the marriage, just watch out for his next move.

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