Nigerian Couple Dishes On The Ingredients For A Lasting Marriage As They Happily Mark 45 Years Of Successful Marital Journey
Recently, Moses Nwaedozi who hails from Agbor, Delta State celebrated his 80th birthday, and 45 years wedding anniversary with his amiable wife, Roseline in Lagos. Lively, outspoken and excited as he walked down the aisle with Roseline for the first time in a church service, he was full of thanks to God for keeping him alive to see the day.
In a chat with Daily Sun on his matrimonial journey, Nwaedozi spoke on how he met and married his wife, from Awo Omanma, Imo State, as well as what has kept them going as husband and wife in the past 45 years. The couple also dished out some important advice for intending couples on what makes an ideal, lasting marriage.
See Excerpts Below:
Tell us about yourself?
Husband: I’m Moses Nwaedozi. I come from Eka North East Local Government Area of Delta State. I was born on May 14, 1939. I was four years old when my father died. I grew up as an orphan because my mum died when I was three years old. Throughout my life I lived in the hands of people who brought me up.
After my elementary school in 1961, I worked as a pupil teacher for two years, and left for Ibadan to join the army. Unfortunately, they said I was too young. I had no brother or sister to help me foray for job. Rather, I was doing domestic services as a steward.
I worked with Water Corporation. In 1967, I was transferred to Lagos to the secretary of Israeli embassy in Ikoyi, Lagos. Later, I joined BEWAC in Apapa, Lagos where I rose to become the Admin Supervisor. I also worked with The Guardian from 1983 to 1988. There, I rose to the position of senior security in charge of operations
Wife: I’m a trader. I sell all sorts of commodities to make ends meet. After we got married, I went straight to business. I deal in all sorts of business in order to feed the children. I have six children. When someone marries and starts having children you need to take care of them.
How did you meet your wife?
Husband: I was living in Ajegunle, Lagos and that was where I met her. After so many years of living in that compound, I did not know that she lived close by. One day, I saw her entering the next compound; she went to the market and was coming back.
I approached her but she did not listen to me. In her compound, I found out she was close to a soldier’s wife. It started from there. We dated for three months. Now we have six children and 14 grandchildren.
What attracted you to her?
Husband: Love at first sight. It was spiritual love. I didn’t bother about her appearance, height or complexion, my spirit adapted to her personality. Immediately I saw her, I admired her and did not waste time to visit her family.
Wife: I have suffered. I was doing house help job for people and suffering, but when he approached me that he liked me, I thought he was joking. I told him to go and see my brother. I said that because men are difficult to trust because I thought he wanted me for boyfriend-and-girlfriend relationship.
More so, it was not long my mother died and I didn’t want any distraction. Aside meeting my brother, he had to meet the woman I was working for. She did not want to let me go because I was doing house help job for her. After many pleadings (and she refused), they had to lie to her in a letter.
They just formed a letter that my father wanted me. That was when she released me. After going to my brother, we did the introduction and almost all our people living in Lagos attended. We also did our traditional wedding in the village.
What about family consent?
Husband: I went to her brother that brought her from the village to the town. I told him my interest in his sister and assured him that I wouldn’t want to waste time courting her for more than three months.
He thought I was playing. He arranged for introduction and I called my people in Ajegunle, arranged for introduction, called my family and they called their people. We took a carton of beer and hot drink to her father. Afterwards, we wedded at St. Ann and Joachim Catholic Church, Ijegun, Lagos.
What do you like about him?
Wife: He is a serious and strong man. He is educated, only that he is an orphan, that was why he suffered in his early age.
You have been married for 45 years. Can you tell us the secret of your successful marriage?
Husband: The secret of of our successful marriage is understanding, and agape love. Husband and wife should understand each other. Also, they must have endurance in any situation they find themselves, because once you understand yourselves, nothing more is pleasing to a man. You try her if she is temperamental or not, whether she can endure hard situation.
Wife: It’s patience and love. When there is love between husband and wife, there would be no problem, even when there is no food, both would understand. My husband doesn’t have a girlfriend. He makes sure his family feeds well. He is not a foolish man. His family is his priority. It was after we married that he went back to do his General Certificate of Education exams (GCE).
What’s your advice to young couples?
Husband: Men who are proposing should stop dating a woman for 10 years. They should first pray and ask God to show them the right person. They should invite the Holy Spirit and tell God to give them an understanding woman.
It is unacceptable to God to impregnate a lady before marrying her. Children are from God not by anybody’s making. Pray that the woman would not disappoint you.
Wife: They should be careful of whom to choose. Choose a reasonable man that is knowledgeable, a husband that would appreciate your suffering together. Since we got married, I have not borrowed.
I do any work to make ends meet. I don’t borrow money from people. Marry a man that knows his responsibility, not the one that leaves everything for the wife to do. Two people can suffer together if there is love. My husband is the struggling type and same with me.