Twitter user, Suhail took to his handle Pengpappi_xo to talk about all those things that Nigerian wives talk about in hushed tones.
The businessman explained why women prefer to spend holidays with their own families and not their in-laws. He reads between the lines and reaches the status-quo of the burden of ‘suffering and smiling’ that is the reality of many wives in Nigeria.
Women, the world over wear many hats; the Nigerian woman even has some load to balance atop her many hats, and sometimes, all it takes to make the load lighter is a little pat on the back, an acknowledgment of all that you do to keep your home and family in one piece. Well, there’s a Twitter thread that acknowledges all that, and it may as well serve as all the therapy you need for today.
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”A married woman will go to her parent’s home with her husband for a short visit, after exchanging pleasantries, everyone will start running around to make sure their son in-law is comfortable.
He will be well fed, well entertained and well taken care of.
No one expects him to lift a finger to do anything, because he is a special guest, their daughter’s husband.
Turn the table
A married man goes to his parent’s home with his wife for a short visit, immediately after exchanging pleasantries, everyone will start looking at their son’s wife with corner eye to see if she’ll go to the kitchen and join in cooking.
She will sometimes be expected to take over the cooking and serve everyone, with a broad smile on her face.
After meal, they will be watching her to see if she will clear the table, wash the plates and clean the kitchen.
No one gives her any special treatment like the special guest she is.
Afterall who is she?
An ordinary woman!
If she doesn’t do any of the chores expected of her, her mother in-law will start ‘beefing’ her and may become hostile towards her.
Her sisters in-law will start grumbling and sometimes become outright rude to her.
She will be called for a meeting, her home training will be questioned and her wife material length measured.
She will be berated, called lazy, mannerless and all sorts of derogatory names.
Her husband will even be chastised for not controlling and disciplining his wife enough.
She may most likely leave her in-law’s home sad, physically and emotionally drained.
What was meant to be a short vacation or visit eventually turns out to be hard labour filled with misery,
tears and regrets.
My annoyance is that it’s always women making life uncomfortable and miserable for their fellow women in cases like this.
It’s always women who encourage or make excuses for men who go out of their way to hurt or harass their fellow women .
It’s always women putting unnecessary pressure on their fellow women.
It’s always women who are the gatekeepers of patriarchy.
» Can’t a woman visit her in-laws and be treated special for the few hours or days she will stay, just like we do to our sons in-law when they visit us?
Take it or leave it, most married women in our society would rather spend holidays with their own family than with their in-laws, because of the above reasons.
The other day,
I read a lady complaining that her mother was sweeping and her brother’s wife didn’t go to take the broom from her and continue the sweeping.
Mind you, the complainant and her other siblings were there too, yet she felt it was her brother’s wife’s duty to go help her mum.
This morning again, I stumbled on a post where a lady was complaining that her sister in-law visited and didn’t enter the kitchen to cook.
Who was cooking for them before her sister in-law came?
Would she have said so if it was her husband or her sister’s husband that visited?
When I see such posts or hear people make such stupid complaints, I get really mad.
I hate double standards.
I hate it with passion!!
It’s about time we do away with the tradition that enslaves women…
Tags: In-Laws, Nigerian, Pengpappi_xo, Suhail, Wives, Women
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