Dear MIMsters: I’m So In Love But It Seems Love Is Not Enough For Me?

It seems as if love is not enough for me.

I am 27. Finished my ND and immediately got into university for my degree. I am the second of three children. My mother died when I was 12. My father lost his job immediately I got into the Uni and I’ve been struggling to make ends meet ever since. My father is remarried and has two more kids with his new wife.

My boyfriend (31) and I have been dating since I was 18. We’ve been together for 9 years now. He is loving, caring and all a lady wants in a man. He is the first child, also lost his mum at an early age and still misses her. We met when he was living with his aunt who lives in my neighborhood.
 
He took my virginity 5 months into the relationship and seldomly asks since he knows I don’t really like it. He moved to Lagos 6 years ago and works with a company as a technician based on contract, but his work is one that comes in season. He is very hardworking and never relents. He takes like 2 weeks break from work every 4 months which in those times I would visit and spend a few days with him.
 
I love him with all my being and he loves me too. We can’t even stay fighting for 3 days before he calls to make peace with me. He calls me at least twice daily since we started dating.
 
The agreement was that he would go back to school, but we skipped the school part as it has not being easy. He manages to give me from the little he earns even though I don’t ask.
 
There was a day we got talking and he asked, me if I become richer than him, will I be arrogant with it? I said no, that whatever I have would be his as well. I asked him what prompted the question and he told me his father (whom he seldom visits but talks frequently on phone with) visited a spiritualist(alfa) on our behalf and they said I might become richer than him, and he has to be careful with me even though I’ll make a good wife.
 
I have never given any other guy a chance even when I tried, I couldn’t love them and they leave.
 
Recently, I have realised that I want a better life for my unborn children. I want my children to have a father who went to school (my father never did), someone who values education and is a Christian, while my BF is a Muslim.
 
I thought he was a Christian because his aunt is one. Later, I found out that he isn’t but he reminds me to go to church. I don’t want my children to have a mixed religion and so much more.
 
Based on these, I started dating this guy September last year. He graduated from my school and is currently serving, might probably get a job as a lecturer in my school because he graduated with a first class. We’ve never had sex and he is a Christian. He has a promising future and every quality I want in a father for my kids. He loves me but I can never love him the way I love my first.
The problem there is that, it’s likely he’ll propose marriage to me after his service while my boyfriend think we should be getting married after I graduate as I will be graduating at the end of the year.
I want more than what he has achieved in 9 years and I don’t know how to break up with him. He is very much into me and might probably break him because he’s very emotional. He sees me as a replacement for his mom and I don’t know what he may end up doing to himself if I break up with him.
He claims I’m the one who gave him reasons to be a better man to this extent, if not, he might have become wayward. He even said if I mistakenly get pregnant for someone else, he’ll take me and give the other man his child.
Mimsters, I’m pained that love can’t do it all. I don’t want history repeating itself for my unborn kids. Thanks for being patient with my long post, I’ll really cherish your advices.

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