Dear MIMsters: I’m Eight Months But I Feel Like Running Away From My Home

I’m eight months pregnant but I feel like running away from my own home. Here’s why…

I earlier asked for advice concerning my hubby who doesn’t help me even though I’m eight months pregnant. I have tried to have a talk with him but he said his sister’s husband doesn’t help her when she is pregnant so he doesn’t understand why I say I’m unable to cope. But I’m not as strong as his sister.

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I’ve been feeling sick and I still throw up often even though I’m just a few weeks away from delivery. I’ve also developed high blood pressure and insomnia. I’m unable to sleep at night and end up napping through the day. Every night, I watch the clock tick until daybreak. No matter how much I try, I’m unable to sleep.

Today, his mother called around 7 am while I was finally trying to get some sleep and I overheard her condemning me for sleeping at that time. He tried to explain that I couldn’t sleep at night but she didn’t seem to accept the explanation.

She plans to visit when I put to bed and honestly I don’t know how I’ll cope with her. I was looking forward to recovering and resting when I finally put to bed but if my mother inlaw comes around, there is no hope of rest for me.

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She gave birth to 7 children and expects me to be as strong as she was. I feel really depressed and I have no one to talk to. I feel overwhelmed at home. I considered going to visit my mother but my only sister lives with her and she is bipolar and gets very violent at times. I don’t wish to put my baby at risk.

This is my first pregnancy and it’s not been easy. The most upsetting part is that my inlaws tell my hubby how to run his home, and then hubby uses his sister’s marriage as a yardstick. I feel overwhelmed.

I got sick yesterday while doing the laundry and I couldn’t make it to the bathroom in time, so I threw up all over the sitting room. Hubby got back from work, told me sorry, then calmly asked why I didn’t finish washing his clothes.

I feel depressed and sometimes wish harm to myself and my baby and these negative thoughts make me feel even worse about myself.

Sometimes I fantasize about running away but I have nowhere to run to. I just want to be free and happy. I can’t remember the last time I was happy.

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Once, I felt really bad and started crying, hubby said I should stop behaving like a baby, crying because I need attention. So I lock myself up or cry only when he is asleep. Please how can I get rid of this sadness I feel?