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Dear MIMsters: After Giving Me A Divorce, My Ex-Husband Wants Me Back

Dear MIMsters: After Giving Me A Divorce, My Ex-Husband Wants Me Back

I got married in 2012 and exactly on 25 -12-2015, my husband, a medical doctor, called me to say that God told him that the only way he could succeed in life was to divorce me.

Before then, he had been keeping late nights, making secret calls, and when I reported to his family, they supported him. I was 6 months pregnant. This put me under pressure to the extent that when I heard the sound of his car driving in, my contraction would start.
All efforts by his colleagues, elders, neighbors, and family to stop him from sending a pregnant woman and our first child away proved abortive. My first child, who is approaching 7 years now and I slept in the neighborhood for days after he had chased us out.
My family called for a meeting and he came and talked to them so rudely. I left his house, gave birth to my second baby, and called him and he refused to pick nor give the baby a name. Then, I buckled up! Took my 2 daughters and moved to another state.
I started working as a sales rep and put my kids in a good school.
2018, I lost my job, and people that were supposed to support me were telling me to go and beg a man who threw me out with pregnancy and refused to take responsibility. Barely one month after, I left, his side chick moved in with him to our house. Later, I heard that she gave him the disgrace of his life in that area such that people even gathered to watch the drama.
When I couldn’t afford the house rent and my children’s school fees anymore, I took my children to my elderly parents and enrolled them in another good school. I got a good nanny who took care of them with the little I had and then I moved to one of the horrible states in the North to look for an NGO job.
Later on, my husband notified my uncles and parents that he was coming to take my children to live with his sister who is married and has a child almost the age-mate of my first daughter. I did all I could to stop my family from allowing him to take my kids but they refused. At that time, I was trying to learn humanitarian work, and with tears in my eyes, I prayed for them and made decrees.
I visited them several times and saw that they were doing very well and attending one of the best schools. I tried to spend quality time with them whenever I visited.
Right now, God has renewed, restored, and repositioned me. My monthly salary is so attractive and I am looking so fresh you can barely tell what I have passed through. Now, I am doing so well and investing wisely.
I have had many suitors but honestly, I just wanna be great in life and marriage is out of it.
Last week, my ex-hubby called me, and I was like, “who is that?” And he said, “your husband now.” He said he has been checking my wall on Facebook and told me, “You’re looking good,” and he wants me to come and visit him and he will also invite the children to come too.
The truth of the matter is that he’s not even remorseful of what he did to me and my daughters even though I have forgiven him but I can’t just throw myself so cheaply.
When I asked on what basis am I visiting him and he got angry and said that I should forget he exists and I said who cares?
Don’t forget he wrote me a divorce letter with his hand and sent a copy to my parents.  I’m approaching 35 and you can barely tell I’ve given birth to 2 daughters.
If he truly wants reconciliation, he should go to my family first. He didn’t want a court wedding and if we had had one, I won’t have been at the receiving end. and that’s why I was all at the received end. If I return, we must have one and reinstate our marital vows.
In any case, thanks to God for a good job. I’m making plans to go abroad to work as an expatriate and work out a way for my kids to join me. But please advise me on what to do.
View Comments (2)
  • My sister please take my advice,forget him,go abroad,get settled and come get your kid’s.i bet you good man will find you or the other way round good fortune will bless you..men,they can be heartless..msheeeew

  • My darling sister! The candid advice I have for you is not to go back to the arms of such a horrible man. Almighty God has set you free. Please kindly take your time to wait for a Godly man that would treat you like a queen. I’m also in a similar situation presently. The only difference is that I am legally married to him. A word is enough for the wise.

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