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Dear MIMsters: Am I Overthinking Everything About This Relationship Or I Am Just Confused??

Am I overthinking everything about this relationship or I am just being confused?

I met this guy through a friend. So, during the full lockdown, we got close as he was always calling & chatting and then, we started dating.

When he resumed work, I noticed the level of our communication dropped. When I complained, he apologized but there was really no improvement.

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Unfortunately, he lost his uncle and he completely stopped calling while I was now the only one doing all the calling. I stopped after a week and he randomly chats me up.

After the burial, he called me to apologize for how he acted and things returned back to normal. He’s a great guy, well raised, family-oriented, respectful, and he gives me money from the little he has, cooks for me anytime I go visiting, serves the food, and even clears the plate when I’m done. Meanwhile, he lives with his grandma.

But there are certain things that I am bothered about.

1). He’s a civil servant with a low payout. He is trying to save up to get a car to be used for Uber and maybe go into the transportation business

2). I look older than him even though he is only 2 years older than me. I’m 28 while he is 30. He just has a baby face and he is tall & slim.

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3). He has a small-sized penis. He is good with romance but I still want to feel it like feel it when he’s in. Also, it got me thinking that I haven’t given birth and I’m already feeling this way about his penis, what will happen after I have a baby and my veejay expands? Will I even feel anything then? And wouldn’t he start looking for a tighter veejay and maybe start cheating? Wouldn’t I be pressurized and forced to start using tightening creams etc?

4) Also, I am worried about this attitude of calling once in two days. I feel if he loves me strongly, he should make it a daily habit to hear my voice. I have always had these thoughts since we started dating which made me break up with him a month ago.

I prayed that if he’s mine, God should bring him back and he reached out to me yesterday and he wants us to meet.

I know marriage is not just an emotional decision, so I need to be objective, which is why I’m here. I need y’all to please advise me. I want to know, is a good character all that there is to marriage Are all those concerns I listed above, are they enough reasons to quit?

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I love him and I feel we can build and plan our lives together but I have suffered too much. I’m an orphan, so I desire a financially stable guy. I don’t want a 50:50 bills-sharing relationship, more like a 70:30 for me but he can’t afford that.

Okay, if I decide to hold on and hope that things will get better, what if they don’t getter later or anytime soon? Am I just confused or am I overthinking?

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