Marriage & Life Coach, Temilolu Okeowo Explains How Emotional Disconnect Can Trigger Issues In Your Marriage

A good marriage takes a lot of determination on the part of the couple to cultivate through the process of nurturing, strengthening, and encouraging each other to give their best, explains relationship and lifestyle coach, Envagelist Temilolu Okeowo. Nevertheless, you must also bear in mind that not everyone can give their best to the marriage as certain situations can make life more challenging for your loved one.

However, when you have a secure, emotional connection in your marriage, you will be able to support each other every step of the way.

In her article she wrote for Punch, Okeowo explained that a couple can become emotionally disconnected from each other for some of the reasons identified below:

1. Emotionally sensitive

In a situation where one person is constantly giving more of herself than the other, it can become exhausting especially if the giver is not being appreciated nor acknowledged because the spouse has become emotionally disconnected.

When your spouse is emotionally disconnected, he/she may start to exhibit insensitive behaviour towards you which can leave you feeling lonely and worthless in a home you once enjoyed comfort, love, and security.

2. Emotionally complacent

If your spouse finds it morally acceptable to continue to keep up his/her appearance in the interest of safeguarding the marriage from separation or divorce; this can also trigger an emotional affair outside the marriage especially if you both become complacent and unwilling to work things out. An emotional affair is triggered when a spouse is giving more affection to someone else outside the marriage and receiving love and attention in return because their relationship is fulfilling.

3. Emotionally rejected

Most emotional affairs happen because someone no longer finds their partner deserving of their love either due to loneliness, neglect, control or differences that made them incompatible.

The truth is that anyone can become a victim of emotional affair without intentionally setting out to make it happen. When love and communication break down in marriage, you may be left with no other choice than to find support and comfort in opening up your hearts out to an old friend outside your marriage who is always willing to listen and also give you reassurance too.

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4. Emotionally spontaneous

Everyone’s desire is to experience the feeling of true love in marriage and this can be unrealistic and unattainable. What started as an amicable and supportive friendship can gradually blossom into an emotional connection as you begin to value the deep bond you share through honest communication. Emotional affair is a dark area in a relationship which might have started with good intention and the desire to build a valued friendship with someone but eventually became more intimate than intended.

5. Emotional escape

According to statistics, most emotional affairs start at work and men are more likely to engage in emotional affairs outside their marriage than women because they are more receptive and often disregard the signs of impending threat to their marital relationship. A man is more likely to devote his emotional strength and time into the affair if the relationship is beneficial and satisfying his needs and serves as an escape from confronting his failing marriage.

Women are not left out of emotional affairs in marriage but many are devoted in their role as the primary caregivers and too preoccupied with making the home a safe place for the family even if the spouse has found a safe place outside their home.