I have been dating Mr. X for a year and five months. He happens to be married but separated from his wife because she’s toxic. He has not been able to divorce her.
She gave birth to a son whose paternity he doubts due to her infidelity. They were together for about 15 years. He is 12 years older than me.
A lot has happened in the relationship. He has not been able to file for a divorce due to financial constraints. He tried once but she refused, and now, he can’t afford it.
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The problem is that he has anger issues.
I discovered I was 6 weeks pregnant in August which he accepted with good fate. He has been living with his parents since he separated from his wife. He started acting out when I got pregnant and made me feel like a burden.
We had plans of getting married this October but he had a terrible outburst one evening and I was scared of his anger and I told him to work on it. He just said if I can’t deal with it, it’s not too late, so I felt hurt and went for an abortion.
We tried to resolve issues but things have been shaky. I had doubts about continuing with him. There are days I don’t feel happy or he hurts me and I just go cold thinking if I can cope. He turns out that he has this lady and another that he flirts with which infuriates me.
This lady can call hourly. This makes me feel he doesn’t respect me. He knows I have been uncomfortable with this but he expects me to take it as normal, saying he doesn’t sleep with them that he just flirts.
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This is a man I pray for, wishing God to bless him so he can prosper and he can still think about flirting. The last issue we had, he boldly told me that he is a flirt, he can’t stop it and there’s nothing he can do about his anger issues. He is 38 years old.
He even said all the things he has been doing is little compared to what I should expect.
This story is actually longer than this but based on this context, I feel I should let go. He is making me feel like I dumped him and I don’t want to take him with his flaws. He has said we should quit the relationship but everyone knows us together, even his family members feel I’m not an ideal wife because I don’t do chores or run around in their family house and I mind my business.
He was just able to get an apartment recently after so many years based on my encouragement and support.
He takes loans and I support in paying them back. I’m really hurting because I gave him my all, my attention, support, prayers, time, sacrificed things I like to do, or prefer just to do what he likes.
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He actually asserted it’s best I leave now because he knows I’ll leave later and he doesn’t want to experience another divorce.
Meanwhile, I am a single mom, I had a son for a man that pretended to love me, built the relationship on lies and he’s irresponsible, I took the responsibility for my son’s birth myself. My son is staying with his dad’s parents now, they are the ones taking care of him.
My parents are separated and my dad has anger issues. I don’t want to live with this or bring children into this. Please have I done anything wrong by walking away from the relationship?
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