Family Coach, Elizabeth Badejo Lists 7 Key Secrets You Should Never Keep From Your Spouse
Love is built on trust. Often, people think that love can conquer whatever obstacle shows up in their relationship, but it is trust that truly conquers. Trust holds everything together. Trust pushes us to believe that we can overcome every obstacle with our partner.
However, there is a school of thought that obscures the true meaning of trust in marriage which has consistently undermined the significance of the institution.
While some believe that certain secrets can only be shared after many years of marriage as trust is a process which takes time; others believe that trust must be anchored in a relationship right from the start.
There are certain secrets you should never keep from your spouse and when not shared, they may eventually come to light and destroy your intending marriage or the marriage you have been nurturing for years.
Here are some secrets you should never keep from your spouse, according to family and life coach, Elizabeth Badejo. This doesn’t mean you have to share every minute and detail about your life with your significant other; however, there are certain secrets you just can’t keep.
IDENTITY
The truth is: trust is having faith in your spouse enough to be able to share your feelings as well as your secrets too. You are unique because you have your own identity, your own strengths and weaknesses too.
Do not change your distinctiveness, be proud of who you are by learning and understanding your own personality and your own talents, which will help your spouse and others relate to you.
HEALTH CONDITIONS
Health, they say is wealth, and right from courtship, it is significant to discuss your families’ health history so that you can both be aware of the different conditions within your family settings and how they can affect your own individual health.
When you are able to share your health issues, you are more likely to find support right from the start and also someone to lean on when you are not strong too.
ADDICTION
Openness can bring many good tidings to your marriage because it embraces love, empathy, honesty and understanding. Everyone has a bad habit but unfortunately some are worse than others, which can eventually lead towards an addiction. This includes drug dependencies, gambling, sexual obsessions and alcohol abuse, among others.
If you have been down the rough lane in the past or still battling with an addiction, it will not be in your best interest to keep it to yourself alone as its effect in the end can be devastating for yourself and the family in general. The probability of overcoming your addiction is higher when you are able to confide in your spouse and seek his/her support as – a problem shared they say, is problem halved.
ABUSE
Abuse is a very grievous matter which often has an adverse impact on the victims, leaving them feeling dishonoured because they have been violated and exploited. A spouse who has experienced abuse, either as a child or an adult, may often have hallucinations which can affect their personality and ability to enjoy a good life and marriage, to say the least.
Abuse can leave a lasting scar if you allow yourself to carry the burden and pains alone; it can also be very difficult to share your feelings, especially if you have been sexually abused.
Sexual abuse is one of the most difficult experiences a person can go through and sharing that experience, even with your spouse, can be difficult. While it can be tough to talk through and relive, it’s imperative that your spouse knows that you were abused.
Think about it, your spouse will never understand what you’ve gone through and how to support you if you don’t speak out.
FINANCES
Marriage is a union of two individuals complementing one another and not competing with one another. You can only enjoy a great marital relationship when you are both honest about your finances and able to plan together towards your financial goals.
Irrespective of who is working and who is not, be honest and transparent about your finances so that you can have a healthy relationship for the rest of your lives.
AFFAIRS