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10 Signs You’re Raising a Strong-Willed Child

10 Signs You’re Raising a Strong-Willed Child

By Amy Morin

Although all kids can be strong-willed sometimes, a truly strong-willed child exhibits certain characteristics consistently. Also referred to as “spirited children,” a strong-willed kid’s temperament is often evident from infancy. Here are common characteristics and behaviours of strong-willed children:

1. They Exhibit Intense Angry Outbursts.
While all kids throw temper-tantrums, strong-willed kids exhibit intense anger that doesn’t subside for a long time. They have low frustration tolerance and they struggle to express their anger in a socially appropriate manner.

2. They Demand to Know Why.
One of the worst things a strong-willed child can hear is, “Because I said so.” They want to know why they can’t do something or why you’ve set certain limits.

3. They Can Argue Forever.
Strong-willed kids don’t give up when they disagree. They love to engage in power struggles and their stubborn persistence often works for them as they tire other people out.

4. They’re Bossy.
Strong-willed kids have a vision in their mind about the way things “should be” and they’ll often orchestrate ways to turn that idea into reality. They have no problem telling their peers where to stand or how to behave and they’re not shy about telling adults what to do.

5. They Refuse to do Anything they Don’t Want to Do.
Don’t waste too much energy trying to convince a strong-willed child to do something she doesn’t want to do. Nagging, begging, and rationalizing isn’t likely to get you anywhere. Strong-willed kids will dig in their heels and refuse to budge.

6. They’re Impatient.
Waiting quietly or patiently isn’t a strong-suit for strong-willed kids. They hate waiting in line at the grocery store, they don’t like waiting for their turn when playing a game, and they aren’t interested in sitting in the waiting room at the doctor’s office. They don’t want to waste a second waiting for someone else.

7. They Make their Own Rules.
Strong-willed kids aren’t interested in hearing your opinion about when it’s time for bed. Instead, they’re likely to insist they’ll go to sleep when they’re tired. They prefer to make their own policies and set their own guidelines rather than follow an authority figure’s rules.

8. They Insist on Getting What they Think they Deserve.
Strong-willed kids struggle to understand the difference between a “need” and a “want.” Whether they want to play outside in the rain or eat a hotdog for breakfast, they’ll insist they should be able to do it. Even when they’re getting the most, they’ll insist they’re not getting their fair share.

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9. They Ignore Warnings they Don’t Want to Hear.
Tell a strong-willed child to “be careful,” or “use walking feet,” if she’s not interested, she’ll simply ignore you. Strong-willed kids are good at using selective hearing and they easily tune out anything that doesn’t suit their needs.

10. They Move at their Own Pace.
Tell a strong-willed child she can go to the park and she’s likely to move like a bull in a china shop in an effort to get out the door. Tell her to get ready to go to the grocery store and she may dawdle for an hour. Strong-willed kids often eat fast and talk fast but then move at a snail’s pace when doing something they aren’t interested in doing.

So, are you raising a strong-willed child?

Source: discipline.about.com

View Comments (39)
  • This is actually equivalent to stubborness. Though my daughter is just 18months old, i can see few of this signs in her. I have to keep her in check, because i cant tolerate such.

  • Lol, reminds me of d kids especially my daughter. Although my daughter doesn’t throw tantrums but my boy sure does.I brace myself each time I take them out even to church& in school she knows all d workers& wl tell them d one dat is her friend dat she wl talk to& d one she wl not talk to dat day. Even all d grownups in my compound she has nicknames for them &; I even find myself calling them those names(which her kid brother is emulating by d way)

  • Wow this is just me in an article. Sounds like the story of my life. I was exactly like this as a kid and even till now. My mom never failed to remind me how I was strong-willed (to her stubborn) lol.

  • Though my son is a bit young, we’ve observed that he’s more emotional than being a strong willed. He throws tantrums but thats just a normal behaviour that most toddlers exhibit. Once u tell him to stop, he’ll stop but will pick on something else. Good info though.. He’s still growing and it’s good to keep an eye on those negative behaviours.

  • Children change with time as they grow older thou they emulate the character of those around esp mum and dad. this is just a guide not d entirety of dir character.

  • I can see that in my daughter. But I have learned that there is always a way around strong willed children without breaking their spirits. I am still learning that method though…

  • There are lots of advantages of having a strong willed child, you are rest assured that wherever they are, that they can’t be cheated. The child will always stand up for himself and defend himself anywhere. Though as a parent it’s difficult to raise this kind of child, but i prefer a strong willed child.

  • My boy exhibits some of those traits , but am teaching him who is the “boss” lolz

  • This is equall to sturboness….. Being strong willed dosnt mean going about breaking protocols.

  • My second nephew is very smart and can prove you wrong, defend herself and look after her younger ones. We call her mother hen

  • My daughter sure has some of this traits, but I try to let her know who the “boss” is lolz

  • I don’t have a child now. When the time comes I will know what group my child will belong to

  • Nice article. My son have few of those but we tend to know the way around it and still learning. He is so intelligent that he knows what he wants and I love that about him.

  • That’s my Moyosore for u, it used to be an issue, but we al love her crazy, she combines strong will with sweetness. * a stubborn sweetheart really.

  • it discribes my 18months old son.but im relying o God wit mildness of heart nd some discipline

  • Wow,gud to know d qualities of being strong willed.
    My girls exhibit sum of these traits bt dey r still growing.

  • That’s me for my husband is even tired but he gat no choice but to accept me for who I am I prefer d advantage dan d disadvantage of being strong willed I pray my daughter doesn’t toll my step

  • I love kids that are strong willed. they always caught my attention. am gonna have mine on future.

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