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Dear MIMsters: I Told My Husband That I Won’t Mind If He Takes A Second Wife….

Dear MIMsters: I Told My Husband That I Won’t Mind If He Takes A Second Wife….

I am here again to seek advise because I am very sad right now, I feel like dying.

Just as I have complained about my husband’s cheating nature, now he has grown even more wings.

I called him to beg him in the name of God to stop chatting with all his girl-friends (most of who are single mothers) at odd hours.

SEE ALSO:Dear MIMsters: I Want to Go Abroad for Financial Reasons but I Feel Insecure About Leaving My Husband

How can my husband be beside me between 11 p.m to 1 a.m chatting with a woman somewhere. He won’t listen when I complain. I decided to have a word with him this weekend.

I told him I don’t mind if he gets a second wife and starts living with her somewhere, at least I won’t be seeing all what he is doing. I begged him to please give me some respect before them.

I can’t imagine a married man chatting and making calls at odd hours while your wife is with you. Hmmnn! That set him off and he started ranting. There is no name on earth he didn’t call me.

SEE ALSO:Dear MIMsters: Husband Wants a Divorce for These Reasons

He told me that I am a fool and that I don’t have anything useful to offer him. He said he regretted knowing me and marrying me. He said I am not mature for there is nothing wrong with him having friends. That henceforth, he can chat at anytime he wants with anybody and mentioned all the names of his girlfriends he can chat with. The sad part is, I know them. I felt bad and wished the ground would just open and swallow me.

SEE ALSO:Dear MIMsters: I Think A Man Like My Husband Deserves a Separation

The next day, he behaved nicer but never apologized for all he said. Please I need advice on what to do because if I decide to leave him, he won’t allow me go with my children. 

View Comments (47)
  • What do you mean by he wont allow you leave with the children?Plan well and leave him,you are worth so much more.Many women are dying of high blood pressure,stroke and heart attack which are all relatd because of this unecessary pressure women put on themselves because of this men.Sister wise up and LEAVE so u can LIVE for your kids.

  • U have not tried yet and u have concluded. U better sit up and find ways to leave with your kids. What nonsense is that? Telling u he can have friends and chat with them whenever he deems fit, such nerves. U even gave him liberty to tk a second wife for what? Why would you say that? I won’t say u should leave yet but please u need to place him where he belongs first. Are u scared of him? Can’t u answer him back? Ask him if it was u that have male friends and chats with them odd hours how he will feel Mtscheeeeeeewwww

  • He has already told you with his actions and even verbally that he doesn’t need you anymore in his life (at least for now). Please take a long walk, seek for the custody of your kids legally/legitimately. You have really tried staying in that toxic marriage of yours.

  • Unless ur kids r still smal if nt u had beta leave in life dan leaving in death. Let him carter for those kids for a day n u will c him kneeling begging or don’t u hv smtin doing. Pls if u do hv smtin doing, u beta giv him a break to recognize ur importance in d house n his life

  • Leaving with your kids is not even the problem, do you have something doing and can you take care of them all by your self?? pls I’ll advice you pretend as if that man don’t exist at all. Try and be happy for yourself and your kids. forget about him and see how frustrated he’ll get. Please don’t leave your home, stay and fight for your family. But do it silently.

    • U spoke my mind sis , once u pretend all he does doesn’t get to u b sure it will frustrate him and be happy . he will want to know why u don’t complain anymore which will bring u guys closer.

  • That man will give you STD if you’re not careful, when he’s out of the house for his business, pack up and go, don’t act like you want to go, just go.

  • The man has no respect for u but l think u should try this b4 thinking of leaving him:Dnt disturb him again about chatting.Whenever he picks up his phone 2 chat,infact dnt wait 4 him 2 start(beat him 2 it),pick ur phone n start browsing.lf u dnt have friends 2 chat with,join groups on fb where u’ll always be busy reading funny comments n posts.Laugh out loud while at it.Make sure u pass word ur phone(so he doesnt check when u are asleep).The essence is 2 get his attention n make him jealos.Trust me if he still has any iota of respect 4 u,he will get jealos n start asking u questions.Then u do ur shakara any how u want to.
    NB:That he doesnt complain that 1st time doesnt mean he is not feeling u,jst keep at it n catch ur fun in d process

      • support this, it has been tested and worked for a lot of people I know. Please ignore him the attention you are giving him by complaining is what is making him do shakara. Do not leave your home for him! If anyone has to leave, let him be the one at his own accord. Because if you move out d society will make u go back and beg him and a woman who has packed out has no say o!

  • Why can u go with ur children? Why stay n suffer all dis rubbish. If u can not stand up to him than u have to live him. Y stay in a marriage when u re not happy. Please move on jor. We women don sufffer oh. Kia

  • If you dont want to leave him, you need to start ignoring him or dont u have what to do that u stay awake from 11pm to 1am watching him chat with his numerous girlfriends. Join different chat rooms and also get busy laughing and chatting. When u start chatting, stay with him for a while, then laugh seriously and go away from where he is to another place in the house as if you want privacy. If he stil loves u, he wil get interested and change. Dont forget to use condom if you must have sex with him.

  • It’s obvious that your husband is yet to over-grown his boyish ways. If there is a spare room in that house, go in and stay there. Ignore his actions and live your life together with your children committing everything to God at least this will give you a little rest of mind.

  • If you can support yourself and the children then separate yourself from him for the time being if not,its best you ignore..and find ways to make yourself happy.

  • It’s obvious you don’t want to leave. I wonder d amount of women in bad marriages and still complaining. Pack ur bags and leave with your kids when he is not around. Simple

  • He mentioned the names of his girlfriends & you didn’t burn his car, his clothes & left with your kids? On no condition should a woman talk this crap from her husband. I’m wondering why your husband has to make calls to his girlfriends in your presence. Don’t u have parents? Tell them u are done with the marriage joor. By the way, are u a Muslim to demand for him to marry a second wife?

  • Don’t even think of leaving your home, you will hate yourself as a single mother, not financially but emotionally, you are lucky he is beside you, you still have a very strong weapon, probably the spark is lost somewhere put it back, 1st change your Wardrobe, no matter what it cost you, make sure you get sexy wears, flaunt your beautiful self in front of him, make sure you pose yourself well, 2nd, get new undies and sexy lingeries, when you are both home, dress to kill and flaunt your sexy self round the house. don’t ever complain or nag again. just focus on your own thing but always pray to God to give you his heart back, with God all things are possible, I give you 2weeks. you go think say na magic, but never pray to be a single parent, it’s not fun at all, boredom go kill you. good luck, I wish I had your chance to make things right.

  • leaving him is not the solution.pls go down on ur kneel and pray.God will never forsake u.let him be.he will get tired one day.if u continue to fight with him,he can never stop.just do as if you dont know what is happening.one day he will get tired.try and take care of ur kids.dont mind him.PRAY SERIOUSLY.GOD IS THE ANSWER.

  • Madam ur happiness depends on I just ignore him if possible stop sleeping in d same room with him so u won’t b hurt by his calls or chat u deserve to b happy no man is worth ur life n happiness boast ur else esteem

  • Even if you are leaving or staying, it must be back up with ceaseless prayers because God doesn’t like divorce. So if you are going out always have it in mind and pray for the restoration of your union. God answers prayers.

  • Going or staying are is all good if backed up with ceaseless prayers because God doesn’t like divorce. So if you are leaving the house, always have it in your mind and pray that one day u will come back to start up your unfinished business. May the mercies of the Lord abide with you. Amen

  • Satan is a liar,learn these tips
    1. Don’t go anywhere
    2. Pray very hard for a change
    3. Start your own pinging beside him and laugh out loud when u do so.
    4. Ignore his chats and pings and ignore the girls too
    5. Focus on your children and believe that it will be well tomorrow
    6. I want u to know that some people are suffering more that u and they believe its gonna be okay tomorrow
    7. Talk to your wedding sponsors to talk to him
    8. Talk to his parents and siblings to talk to him
    9. Talk to your parish priest to talk to him
    God bless u

  • Some comments here can be annoying…, which kind yeye prayer do u guys want her to pray and by d way who told u she has nt prayed her tongue out but it ain’t working out. Must everywoman stay married?? sm pple are better of single..!Madam pls leave dat man b4 u develop BP for ur kids…Dat he-goat does nt worth u.#myopinion

  • Give him some space n see if he’ll come after you.But b4 u do dat,plan well to leave wit ur kids if dey’re still very young.Eventually if he doesn’t come for you,pls move on wit ur life.You deserve much more dan wat u getting.

  • The bible support divorce only on death or adulterous ground. If he has been caught in the act divorce him, which is not a sin to God. You can also forgive him and remain in the marriage which requires a lot of work on your part, you need to be very forgiving, exercise patience, overlook trivial things. Most importantly, if you decide to remain in your marriage please get him tested first, get something tangible to do with your time to avoid thinking, get involved with your children. Lastly, think of ways you can assist him to make him a better person, because we all are imperfect being. Lasting marriage is not a bed of rose, there are rough edges which needs to be straightened out.

  • Darling…lets get things straight!

    1. You are worth more valuable than you can ever imagine and you are a jewel of inestimable worth. God made you so…please let that stick in your beautiful brain.

    2. If your husband has been at this for a while, I’m sure he showed a few signs before marriage but was not this bad. Changing may not be easy but not impossible. Become a wise woman and build your home. Invest in materials, Read books, search the internet for people with similar stories and how they overcame

    3. Leaving might seem like a great thing to do…but my dear, it may not be as easy as it sounds. He has not assaulted you physically so it means he still has some sense but using it the wrong way.

    4. Prayer changes things my dear. The devil is on a rampage to destroy marriages…do not let yours be one. Go on your knees and fight the battle. Join support groups and pray your marriage through. Anyone who comes in-between is an intruder and God will fight for you; so pray them out.

    5. Truth be told, there is always two sides of the story…you might be shocked what your husband will say if he has to speak up. There just might be something he desires that the other ladies have. What is the denominating factor with all the ladies you know he chats with? There must be something…find out!!!

    So my little 2 cent advice:

    1. GET A LIFE!!! Celebrate yourself…go on dates with your girlfriends but make it sound like you are going out with a guy (PLEASE DO NOT CHEAT). Take extra care of yourself…if you have added weight…please shed some and get your sexy back (I can help you if you feel overwhelmed). I would not advice you to ignore him completely but please give yourself some TLC.

    I had a friend whose situation was worst than yours…it was tough…she was also assaulted physically but with God, nothing is impossible. Today its a different story.

    l pray you will testify in Jesus name!

    God bless!!!

  • My dear don’t u Eva try to leave,1,d society in wch we are doesn’t permit DAT.2,if u take ur kids wife u wifout full custody by law no mata wot u spnd n time u waste n long nite of hunger Becos of ur kids dey wil 1 day ask after deir fada n might even end up blaming u for leave. Ma dear d solution is for u to remain dere n fight for ur marriage.if he hangs out wife friends do same, i f he chats @ note do same. Luk gud always n be fun. Marriage is swt only DAT son people have turned demselves into home breaker.and if u must leave let it b legal so he can b responsible for every dime of

  • Try act out wt he s doin too,n c his reactions.put him in prayers.n pls if u insist on leaving him,tink it ova cus it’s nt gonna b easy 4 u alone to handle expenses wit d children,n pls nvr leave ur children bhind cus if u do,dey ll suffer n nvr 4give u

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