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Dear MIMsters: Is this Man Worth Spending The Rest Of My Life With?

Dear MIMsters: Is this Man Worth Spending The Rest Of My Life With?

Is this man worth spending the rest of my life with?

I met my hubby 4 years ago through a friend. He already had a son with another woman when he was studying in the United States. According to him which I confirmed from a friend, they were no longer together. When I met him, he explained everything to me, and said he wanted to start a new life with me. He planned coming back home after his programme, which he did.

Before coming back home, he sent money to secure an apartment and told me to go and meet his family. I was well received by his brother and other family members as his mother and father are late. Altogether, we courted for a year before our wedding, part of which he was out of the country.

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When he returned, we started life as a new couple, had our official introduction and marriage registry. We intended doing our Nikkai but due to some challenges and his ability to secure a job, we decided to keep it on hold.

To be candid, I made up my mind to get married to him not just because of his  money. I don’t even see him as a rich man. He has never once gave me pounds. When I met him, I’d just had my heart broken by a boyfriend of ten years. He impregnated someone else his father insisted he married.

When hubby came into my life, I thought I had met the right person. He is educated,  has a degree and other professional courses I see as an edge. The problem started when I got pregnant. His attitude changed. He started locking his phones, no longer gives me attention. Initially, I thought it was the pregnancy. During that period, one day, he returned home, dropped his laptop bag, and went to use the toilet. While he was in there, his phone rang. I opened his bag to find used condom with toilet roll. I was devastated. I cried throughout the night.

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He begged me. Told me that it was his colleague who left it in his bag. He’s a lecturer. I tried to control my anger because of my pregnancy. After I put to bed for almost a year, he made no attempt to sleep with me. I was forced to tell my mum, asking her if this is how it is done.  My mum called him to order. He said that he was scared of another pregnancy. But same thing happened again. Six month later, I saw used condom in his bag. Yet again, he pleaded that it won’t repeat itself again.

To cut the story short, things started getting back to normal. Our child is close to three years now. My parents called him to come and do my Nikkaih before I get pregnant again.  Plans are underway for the ceremony which is planned to hold in less than 5 months. 3 days ago, I saw another used condom and used toilet roll in his bag again.

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This time, my mum was around. I couldn’t hold it anymore. I burst into tears. My mum rushed into our room to find out what was wrong. I started parking my things to leave the house. My mum has been pleading and crying for me to forgive him as he has promised it won’t happen again. I am the only child of my mum from a polygamous family. My question is this man worth spending the rest of my life with?

View Comments (45)
  • If you do- you may continue to see condom and probably get infected with STD. sorry

  • Message.. The ans is no… Such men dnt stop messing arnd it jst take God’s grace

  • My dear u deserve better man Dat him sorry Ur husband is an unrepentant cheat

  • It’s a sad story……I still don’t get why people cheat and hurt the ones they claim they love

  • don’t let this fools that can never stay in a man house confuse u do u really know the perfect man when even in the means of pastors we saw a lot do u want to be jumping around think we’ll my dear no body is perfect

  • Its now a necessary evil that you have to deal with. Stop looking for things that will hurt you cos its obvious that’s why his 1st marriage failed and he is not genuinely remorseful for his act.

  • No dear he’s not worth it. He’s so unrepentant that he had to continue putting those stuffs same place you would see them all the time. Just give him a break.

  • Even d bible permits divorce on d ground of adultery.lts obvious he wont change.Except by divine intervention,u’ll leave d rest of ur life crying every other day

  • Truly he’s not worth it bt den even if u decide to divorce him u’re not even sure of de nxt guy u gonna meet.I’ll suggest u separate 4rm him 4 a while n see if he’ll come bck 2 his senses.It is well

  • and no he is not worth spending d rest of ur life with.cos if u do it would b in tears

  • A broken engagement is better than a broken marriage…..sex is free for lecturers so it’s hard to stop when they start. if u know u dnt have d will power and d heart to handle a chronic cheat,then it’s a NO NO. Bt if u can handle it,good for u then.

  • He is not worth it; except u want to keep seeing used condoms.

  • This man does not love u. Even if cheating is his hobby, He is not matured enough for marriage. He really needs to be concerned and consider how you feel in the marriage. Making you see used condoms always is something he can avoid..

  • Madam, you alone (not your mother or friends or MIM fans) understand the pain and heartache you are going through. May God help you make the right decision.

  • He’s not worth it. He seems like an unrepentant alduterer. Separate from him now and see if that will shake him up. Some men don’t know d value of what they have until they loose it.

  • Is he a ritualist? Why does he always keep used condomand tissue? My sis, save u self heartache and move on. Thank God he hasnt finished the marriage right.

  • no marriage is perfect , thank God he is using a condom,but sha I still u should look well before you leap, if he is a good husband in al other aspect you could give him a try, may b tell his relative ( the one he holds in high esteem) and pray and hope for a change

  • My sister, for Allah’s sake, please run as fast as your legs can carry you. Having a child for a man doesn’t automatically make him committed to you. This man is obviously not. On top of that, no remorse. Not all men are cheats and brutes. With patience and prayers, you will find a better man. Please do not rope yourself into a lifetime of tears and pain now that God is showing you signs and you still have a way out.

  • My dear 99.9% of men cheat,were can u find the perfect one? Maybe he’s yet unborn,just move on with him is normal just that he don’t suppose to come home with used condom,cheat is virus that has affected all men,my dear no man is 100% percent faithful but some women do.

  • Is he a ritualist?..why does he keep bringing them home or do you have a dumping site in your home.hmmm,there’s more to this.you need to sit him down and calmly ask him these questions.That will determine your basis of leaving him.

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