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Dear MIM Readers: Should I Confront My Husband?

Dear MIM Readers: Should I Confront My Husband?

I’m really concerned about the relationship between my husband and his ex.

I asked him about it and he said she was going through some stuff and they are just friends, but right now I’m beginning to doubt it. His day starts and ends with her, they talk everyday, he sends her money,  and air time. She even has the guts to call him at odd hours.

We had an argument over it, although he apologised. I still feel like she’s a distraction to the point where I’m trying not to care anymore about my hubby. I don’t call him as I usually do nor ask about his day. Even when he tries to tell me stuff, I look uninterested cause in my mind, I’m like “go tell her now, why are you telling me?”, since she knows everything about him. I’m trying really hard not to resent him.

This is really making me unhappy. He thinks I don’t know that much about her but I know everything about her because I made it a point to do so. I’ve considered confronting him with facts and all but then I’ll have to tell him how I found out which I dont want to. I feel like a third party in my own home to the extent that I’m happier when I’m away from him because even when we are together I keep thinking, “when is she going to call him, has he called her today and all that crap”.

Even though I hate the girl, I dont blame her it’s my hubby I blame, only God knows what he tells her. We might be together this minute, then the next minute, he has left me to go call her. This was past 12 midnight o. I felt so small that day. Something in me just gave up on him. There’s a lot I want to to share but in a nutshell, my attitude towards him has changed as I don’t feel the need to be there for him since he’s got her. To me, the only difference between me and her is that I’m the one living in the house with him and answering the wife title. I know my approach might be wrong, but I can’t smile at him and laugh at his jokes when I’m so mad at him. With the way I’m feeling, one day, I  will snap at him and it won’t be funny at all.

View Comments (26)
  • But this is not fair at all, if he wants his ex that much why did he married you?

  • Woman you need to take charge already. What you waiting for? Confront him already and tell family members about it before it gets outta control. How do women tolerate so much nonsense? Smh

  • Message.. Some men re not just wicked but hopeless and very soon just very soon God will destroy dem all amen. Confront him period cause I don’t understand why he left de ex to marry u n now he has gone back to his vomit? Very useless set of people not knowing they re putting their wives through emotional trauma.

  • U better confront him before is too late…..why are some men so heartless like this,why can’t u marry your ex.

  • Confront him abeg let him knw all dat u knw abt their foolish affair and hw it is affecting ur relationship wit him dnt die in silence is nt worth it

  • Confront him in a calm way and remind him that its only dogs that goes back to their vomit. Ask him to honestly tell u how he will feel if you do same.

  • I’m happy u recognised d fact that ur hubby is to be blamed n not d other woman(something some women dnt know).Shutting him out jst like that doesnt make sense as he is not a mind reader to know why u act d way u do.Confront him with ur facts n discovery(u dnt owe him explanations on how u got ur facts).That way,any behaviour u put up he will know why

  • My dear confront him wat sorts of rubish is dis. Are u nt okey for him? Pls be careful he might be having coitus with her.

  • Dear Poster, how long do you want to wonder if you are married to this man or not, think it through, pray it through for wisdom and strength and confront him, letting him understand what the odds are or are they none? Do you have plans of living your life unhappy like this till either the ex becomes his wife or she goes? My dear you are to take charge of YOUR husband not another woman but then if he wants the other woman to be in charge of him, the he should let you know!….. Men, always respect women who are strong and can do without them!

  • My dear dialogue is the key in having a successful marriage. Keeping to yourself isn’t the answer to your problem but what you need to do is have a heart to heart talk with him.

  • Woman I know ur pains. I’m also expressing same thing in my marriage. No difference at all. In fact my hubby stopped sleeping in the same room with me so he can always talk to his ex at odd hours and prove to her dat i’m nothing to him.

  • Almost going thru same thing too nd am so confused.I just cry silently nd pray to God to help me thru it cos I don’t know what to do any more.

  • May the Lord give you all the grace to be strong and wisdom to deal with ur marriages in Jesus. Pray first, seek God’s face, pray that God shld keep the woman busy, pray that God shld make the woman too busy for ur husband and God shld cause ur husband to lose interest and she lose interest in him too. Do not quarrel with him? If you knw ur going to react just pray. God will keep ur home and keep ur marriage in Jesus. Do not show a non chalant attitude towards your husband. Do not push him further away frm home or frm u by ur attitude. I knw ur hurting but hand over this situation to God and he will fix it. Stay blessed

  • I don’t know y men can’t leave their past behind them after marriage…..pls confront him o before it’ll be too late and become somethin u can’t handle again

  • Anyone dat keeps dragging the past to the future got some skeleton in the cupboard.

  • Don’t confront him yet since telling him how u got ur evidence would blow tins up for u. Does he still care about u,? Show u love? If yes then let him b. It’s not easy but u have to try. Take ur mind off whatever is happening btw him n his ex. Continue to show him love as long as he doesn’t maltreat U cos of the girl. U’ll win him over only with love. Also pray for him not just for him but the girl, let her get her own husband and face the consequences of her actions. My advice may sound foolish n stupid but if u work with it u’ll come out victorious. Talking from experience.

  • My son, turning three in September, has what i will call chronic constipation. I have tried everything (vegetables, water & laxatives) as directed by the docs but nothing is working. Am becoming desperate. Please advise what else do i need to do to help him.

    Thank you

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