Dear MIMsters: Was I Wrong To Confront This My Husband’s Female Friend?
My husband and I had a tough year in 2014. It was that crazy. It was about almost everything and one of the things that kept us fighting was this lady he was doing some free jobs for.
Because of this lady, my husband physically abused me and that was no easy thing for me. He later apologized in front of his parents to me and we made up and have moved on. Frankly, anytime I see the lady, I get bitter but I’ve prayed, tried to forgive her and let her out my mind.
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My husband stopped working on her stuff but recently, she has started coming around and going around with my husband. Last week, we were to deliver some wedding stuff to a customer coming from Dubai just for this purpose.
Prior to this, I had informed my hubby of how important it was for us make deliveries on time to the customer on time as he was going back with the same airline that day.
To my shock, hubby comes home in the evening and said he was going to sho0t a video for the lady. I tried to stop him but he still went ahead with her.
I got so angry that when the lady came around and greeted me I did not respond but eyed her. I told her they should postpone their mission but my husband insisted and went. Fortunately for us, the customer couldn’t make the trip.
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Later, hubby came to apologise and asked that I forget about everything. My problem is when I told my husband to stop associating with her, he refused. I don’t know but am I right or wrong in asking hubby to let go off everything he has to do with her so we can have our peace?
Was I overly rude to her? How do I treat her when next she comes around? Should I apologise to her? This lady insulted and treated me like a rival last year, now she’s acting nice.
You weren’t rude to anyone and you have to talk sense to that husband of yours and when next that lady comes around sit her down n ask her to tell you her mission in ur house, ask her to stay off your family as her presence is putting problem in your home and strip naked in her presence, with a bible in ur hand n warn her that if she should ever try n come to ur home again or call ur hubby again that she will run mad and then if you have brothers report her to them let them teach her a lesson he will never forget in her life. I don’t know why women are happy to be their own enemies mtcheeew since ur hubby don’t value his marriage one day soap go enter his eyes he go learn.
My dear don’t apologise to her.let her stay off your family but take everything to God in prayers.
I think you overreacted except if hubby is still doing free jobs for her but if she is paying consider it a business association and don’t give her thwe the chance to make you feel that way again.
The major problem hear is your husband, of course he really need to disassociate from that lady. On your part, avoid the lady matured and don’t get physical with her.
Apologies to her for what? Never you apologize to her oh poster if not u loose your respect. Keep telling your hubby u do not like their association and he should stop before u let family members know about it. Doing free jjobs for her for what? Are u sure they are not sleeping with each other? Hmmmmmm
Avoid the lady maturedly.
My dear you have said it all @Nuela
Why God has joined together let no strange female friend put assunder. Act cold anytime you see her but never exchange words with her. If she greets and u don’t feel like answering, then don’t answer. Most of all pray that God scatters their friendship. Let her find another man to be her errand boy amd not your man. If you are uncomfortable then Ur intuition might be alerting you about dangers…
Madam you were very quiet. If I were d one, I would insult her in public and disgrace her then later beg my hubby if he makes a problem out of it. But never apologies to d woman. Infact threaten her that if she comes near your hubby, you will put her pictures on Facebook n write husband snatcher.
Apologise to who? My dear dnt try it infact next time warn her seriously to leave ur family in peace must it be ur husband? Let her kip her distance or else…….
U don’t
The one you should be attacking is your husband not the lady cos he’s the only one who can decide to either let go or not. You overreacted but don’t apologize to her just ignore her.
U don’t have any business with d lady.Ur husband is the one u shd ‘attack’.If ur husband has set limits to her,she won’t cross it.I bliv a home belongs to the woman,so if u show her by ur actions that she is not welcomed,she will stop coming(if she is wise).Continue discouraging ur husband frm dat relationship.When he brings gist concerning her jst ignore him n change ur mood.Most importantly,take it to God in prayers
You owe are no apology your husbands association with her is highly suspicious and you should thoroughly investigate it
Keep telling ur hubby that you don’t like his association with the lady. Infact ask him to chose between u or the lady
Apologize to her for what? U didn’t overreact and sit that husband of yours down n talk to him that u don’t like his association with that lady, that he should cut all ties that brings them together
If your husband can beat you up over a woman that he’s doing free jobs for, then there’s something fishy about two of them.
See them saying u don’t have anytin wt de lady its the man hahaha u mamas are very funny it seem una never jam a man that won’t even blink an eye towards u?
How can you possibly apologise to an impostor who probably is playing the good woman only for her to snatch your hubby from you given the slightest chance. I know her type. But the fault is basically your husband’s. Haba why must you please another woman at the detriment of your wife’s happiness only for you to come back and apologise later. Please don’t be too comfortable with that woman. Give her more of that your attitude if you can and never and I repeat never you apologise to her if not you would be digging your own grave unknown to you. Above all pray for your home to be restored from strange women that pose as family friends or colleague. Shalom
u did nt overact…just avoid the lady
Madam Pls don’t take chances o don take her ur friend n don’t make her comfortable in ur home such people r back stabbers
u want a second wife for ur hubby???if not then y are u considering apologising???….pls try ur best to make their rel sour ooo.that’s how one lady caused me my relationship….
Women are very good at sensing things: whether they are wanted in a place, whether someone likes them, etc. For this strange woman to be coming to your house after what happened in 2014 is a sign of callousness, and desperation! I wonder what she has together with your hubby that has made her this daring. Don’t be nice one bit to a soul like hers, someone who can pick a fight with someone’s wife, and give no damn about her feelings. Sometimes, some men will act like they know it all by not listening to their wives. When they muddle up their relationship they’ll start apologizing, and make the women look unforgiving. Keep showing him your disapproval for any transaction with that home breaker, and pray too. May God give you wisdom out of this situation.
Who does free jobs these days, and beats up a wife for not understanding? Even if hubby is an amateur in the field of his practice, a low charge is the least he can do. Investigate that relationship properly, it’s highly suspicious. If hubby refuses to keep away from that woman, bring in your family, and his as your evidence, because of tomorrow.
Bring in your family members and his as ‘witnesses’ because of tomorrow.
I had the same problem with my husband and no amount of talking to him got him to change. I confronted the lady and was blamed for doing that. What I did was give him some stiff competition with some male friends and his perspective changed. Remember Mr & Mrs… the home video? Stop talking and focus ur energy on things that make u happy while associating with the opposite sex. I don’t meanyou should have an affair oh… just make him feel u have a friendship with the opposite sex that’s equally as valuable. Then he will he the message. Sometimes experience is d best teacher!
You should leave ur douche bag husband before it’s too late. He is clearly an asshole. and i’m a man so.. i should know
Reading dis post is making me mad on ur behalf. Why can’t men understnd dat being Head of d house is not only wen it suit dem. It is ur role to ensure nothing threatens d peace of ur home no matter who n where d disturbance is come frm. Ur wife above all other female including ur mother n sisters. Much more one miserable colleague or person. If sometin makes ur wife uncomfortable stop it, it’s d manly tin to do, no excuse, no negotiation, no apologies after. U were not wrong my dear, u are His wife, u are well within ur rite to ask dat of him n as for d lady playing nice, it’s her game card to make u look stupid so dat wen u over react she can play d victim card. Let her kw u are cut out for it neither is her presence welcome in ur home. wat u don’t want u don’t watch!