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Dear MIM Readers: Help! I’m having an affair with my husband’s good friend.

Dear MIM Readers: Help! I’m having an affair with my husband’s good friend.

I’ve been having an affair with one of my husband’s good friend for the past six months and I think I’m in love with him.

He’s also married and our families hang out a lot. I’m really confused about our relationship as he sometimes carries on like there’s nothing between us when we are together yet he shows a lot of passion in the bedroom.

I think he doesn’t want the affair to stop too as he is always in touch with me daily but I dare not tell him the way I feel in case he decides to end it. Sincerely, that’s the last thing I want to happen right now as I am so smitten. I also don’t want to seem pushy as he has made no promises.

It really breaks me to think I could do this to my husband; I feel such overwhelming guilt, yet, I can’t bare to lose my newly found love and happiness.

I have asked myself countless times what lured me into loving another man in this overpowering way, but I can’t seem to place a finger on it. My husband is a good and loving man, at least he tries his best, but maybe the fact that he’s hardly ever around played a huge part. I don’t love him anymore and I can’t help it. Maybe he is even beginning to see the signs too.

I wish I could come out clean and walk away from my marriage. I often feel it’s better than holding on to a man I don’t love anymore but my dilemma is, how do I know this man I now love so much feels the same way? I know he’s sexually attracted to me but is that all there is to it? Even if he loves me, would he rather have a fling to curb chances my husband will find out? What about his wife? Would he ever think of giving her up for me?

I have been battling with these and several other questions for weeks. I feel so depressed. What do I do?

View Comments (28)
  • You know you’re inlove when you don’t imagine cheating on your partner. U are a selfish, self consuming ho am sorry to say this but that’s what you are. Just because you are not happy in your marriage, you’re trying to ruin someone else’s own? Well who am I to judge you? You are hurting a good man that loves you and I feel sorry for him. I pray God heals his heart when he eventually finds out. And FYI that man you’re sleeping with, doesn’t love you one bit and would never leave his wife for you so sorry to need to snap out of that fantasy before it gets the better of you. If you’re not happy with your husband, then leave him for a different man and not his friend for Christ’s sakes.

  • Just so u know d man’s feelings for u is not beyond his trousers.He is just being a man n catching his fun.You can ruin your marriage but leave that innocent woman’s marriage

  • What if ur hubby was doing this to u how would u feel?what if ur hubby friends wife was the lady he is cheating on u with,how would u feel?the level u’ve gone shows that u won’t give a shit when that man discards his wife for u,infact u are anticipating it,see forget the passion for him not to expose the relationship means he cherishes his family unlike you and sees u as a cool off.the earlier u prayerfully thats if prayers are still within ur lips call off d relationship the better for u else u stand to loose both him and ur family.get closer to ur hubby,dats if unfortunately u’ve not lost him to another woman while forming to care having noticed ur changes.

  • Hmmm woman! I pity for you. Try and leave your hubby for that man then you will get the shocker of your life from him. No cheating man truly want to leave his wife to be with the slut outside except on a very rare cases. So stop day dreaming and stop that madness and confess ypou sins to God and hubby. That man’s wife will use prayers to eliminate you. Also that thing you call love is just lust and the man is just enjoying your sexual gratification without any emotion so he is just putting on an act so that you don’t look like a road side slut. The feeling isn’t mutual so stop!

  • hmmmmnn…u threading on a dangerous path.b careful.n break ofc anytn with dat guy…

  • The man is just enjoying you so of you like be stupid enough to leave your husband for his friend and you will see the shock of your life

  • That man doesn’t love you. He has just seen a free pussy and is taking advantage. Unfortunately you are disgracing yourself, your husband, your children and your vows in the process. Have some self respect and stop this madness. Leave your husband and see if he will leave his darling wife for a loose married woman. The answer is that he can never leave his wife to marry you cos you have shown yourself to be loose. Borrow sense and stop being used. Self respect is far better than sexual satisfaction. Let me stop here before I start getting mean.

  • Sneaking around can seem fun and exciting hence thinking that you are in love…..by the time the affair is made public that so called love you are feeling will die…..honestly the guy dosent love you men are not like us sex for them is not attached to love….they know how to compartmentalise and separate sex from love …..so madam dey there dey dream of silly fairy tales don’t close those legs and face your family dey fantasise for there

  • People have said a lot but wait a minute and think about this. First of, your loving husband might have an idea of what is going on and decide to catch you both red handed so that you wud be truly disgrace. Second of, have you stop to think of what you would lose in the process? I tell you this, you would lose your husband, you would definitely lose this one who is making your head go gaga, you would lose peace, you would lose happiness and of that is not enough, you would lose face with anyone who ends up knowing about your story. I mean your friends, family, and foe. You are waiting for him to dump his wife for you. You are not only fearless but wicked and selfish. My advice is this divorce that your loving husband and continue with that prostitute man of yours until when he will go back to his wife or move on with the next girl. However don’t stay with your husband and continue with his friend because when doomsday catches up with both of you, the disgrace would be 500% worth it.

  • I swear women are their own enemies gosh you are so wicked,pathetic and deserve to rot in hell. Don’t ever think that man will ever leave his wife for u cus for u to f**k ur hubby frnd means u can f**k anoda man even if u marry this man. U re notin bt a cheap whore to him n once ur secret is made know u will regret ever misbehaving. U better quit n hid ur disgusting face in shame b4 its far too late for u

  • Ur case is pathetic. Stop dat affair now and seriously/deeply ask God for forgiveness. Love ur husband n stop fooling around wit ur frnds hubby

  • The out come of all these will be trouble. Try not to be selfish and end this affair. You are hurting a lot of people while trying to be happy n it is very wrong that way

  • Hmmm, human being wicked o, what a pity the people that he trusted most are the ones stabbing him.

  • Madam dt stupid man will never leave his wife for shameless woman like U. You need help! I pray dat the d help u urgently need but refuse to admit locate you. D path you are towing leads to only one end – destruction!!!

  • Your own better rubbish he’d flirting with u he can’t leave his wife for u jst keep servicing him ur husband will fine out n send u parking this man in question will go back to his wife, u will b d one to loss at d end of d day

  • Ma’am repent while there’s still time to do so and ask for God’s mercy. Hmmmmm do not allow the anger of God visit you o

  • How can u thnk of being happy with anoda woman’s husbnd? U better retrace ur self before u turn urself to a laughing stock.

  • You are a bunch of disgrace to yourself and womanhood…kaiiii. How could you do dat to your loving husband???? You’re so engrossed with infatuation and lost, haba!!! i feel like throwing up.

  • You need to go see a psychiatrist for help, because if you feel he loves you and think he will leave his wife for you, then you must be paranoid.

  • i am sorry to say; “YOU ARE A GOOD BIG BIGGEST FOOL” which man will marry a cheating wife? sorry for you and your foolish “I think I’m in love with him” nonsense.

  • I’m speechless, what type of a woman are you? Your husband best friend and his married for that matter. May God have mercy on your soul.

  • You should be sorry for ever cheating on ur hussy and breaking ur marital vows. Call it quits wt this ur so-called new found lover and concentrate on ur marriage. Remeber, “marriage is for better for worst….till death do u paths)! Wake up.

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