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MIM Fan Recounts How She Narrowly Escaped Contracting HIV From Husband

MIM Fan Recounts How She Narrowly Escaped Contracting HIV From Husband

Before my husband and I started dating, we had been good friends for about 2 years. He never revealed anything to me about his HIV status.

Then we started seeing each other and one thing led to another and we started having sex. It was great and we were really in love with each other. Then he proposed to me, and of course, I said yes. This was in 2008. We got married that year.

My church requests to-be-couples is to do medical screening and pregnancy test before you can be married. We did this and everything was fine, or so I thought. And behold two months after marriage, hubby became very sick and had to be admitted for about 2 months. Diagnosis showed HIV positive. My whole world fell apart, I did my own testing but came out negative.

READ ALSO:Dear MIMsters: Learn From My Story that Submission is not Foolishness (Part Two)

I went alone to the doctor to ask my troubling questions, and to tell him that we did the test together about 4 months back and we were negative. The doctor said either he just got infected or it was a false negative (maybe he was in his window period at the time). It was heartbreaking. We kept all this from family because believe me, the stigmatization of HIV is real.

My husband on the other hand didn’t believe it one bit, he said he is not HIV positive that something is wrong, that he is sure of himself. My husband is a very knowledgeable person and well read. We talked about it for many days and at the end of the day, a part of me believed that indeed maybe it is spiritual. Why am I then negative? Why 2 months after our successful wedding? Maybe it is just a temptation. What do I do now? Who do I talk to that will not laugh at me. Only God. I put everything in the hands of God, and started praying harder than before.

He became well and resumed work to the glory of God. He kept saying he didn’t cheat on me and he didn’t have HIV. I even begged him to tell me the truth, that I will stand with him no matter what. I was so hurt that I told myself I will never have sex with him again. He respected it, he respects me so much. He was a good man.

READ ALSO:Woman Marks 10 Years Since Contracting HIV on Her Wedding Night [Read Her Story]

Then one day I was so horny, I couldn’t bear it anymore, I went to buy a pack of condoms after talking to my doctor. We started making love with condoms. But there were few times, body no be firewood, before I could can pick a condom from the bedside drawer, we would make love without it. This was our marriage for 3 years.

Then in 2011, hubby became sick again. He was adamant to go to the hospital, he said he was tired of doctors telling him he is +HIV when he knows he isn’t. I talked and talked. Hubby’s family thought I was a bad woman and I wasn’t taking good care of him. He went from cough, to rashes, to pneumonia and eventually to death.

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I thought the pressure of running around prevented my period from showing for up to 4 months. I didn’t know I was pregnant. The last time we made love before he got sick was when I conceived. Hubby died when I was 6 months pregnant. He knew he was going to be a father. All my ante-natal screening was negative to HIV. I had our son vaginally 3 months after he died, a healthy baby in 2011.

I am telling this story to those women who think HIV (or any STD) is for some people or status, to marry God fearing men who would not jeopardize your future for few seconds of pleasure.

I have been there and have experienced it first hand. By God’s grace, I am working and can provide basic needs for my son and it is still hard to trust another man. Like my doctor said, I was one of the lucky ones, I came out unscathed.

READ ALSO:Dear MIMsters: Is Hubby Regretting a Decision We Both Made Together Years Ago?

Do not cheat or condone cheating. Staying with a cheat is like been in the war front, it’s only a matter of time. You deserve better. We all deserve better. God bless you

View Comments (33)
  • This is more of spiritual than physical. How come you were able to get pregnant? Shebi u get odeshi wey make you no contact am? Your Hubby died of spiritual HIV.

  • Hnmmm thanks for sharing…. women will advice their fellow women to stay with a cheating man….. God into ur hands oh Lord I commit my home

  • Your husband never confessed that he cheated on you. HIV can also be transmitted thru other means apart from sex. So unless you’re sure he cheated, pls don’t jump to conclusions like dat. All men are not liars. I’m sure it’s d Lord’s mercies dat preserved you and your baby. May d Lord help us all

  • @angel Henry there’s nothing like spiritual hiv my dear! She probably didn’t get it because she has a very strong immune.when most kids are suffering from flu my kids don’t suffer from flu and I don’t give them flu shots because I give them lemon and honey daily or cinnamon powder and honey to boost their immune or treat any form of infection so people are different.

  • Body no be firewood??? You opened your eyes wide and had sex with a positive husband in the name of body no be firewood??? Please nobody should try this, it might not work for you. We should be careful.

  • God is forever merciful. This is just God. My husband has hepatitis B and we have been married for 9 years now but I am negative. I can recall how many times have treated myself for STD because of his life style( chronic flirt). Every time I suggest or insist we should use a condom he gets very angry and starts calling me names that I have been cheating on him. My dear, what I am trying to say is that what happened to you can only be explained by God. It is well with you and your son.

  • HIV is not only transmitted through sex. Barbing salon, syringes, blood transfusion. Etc. Please honour his memory by not assuming. Unless he told you he cheated, it’s not good to speak bad about the dead, they are not alive to defend themselves.

    It’s only by the mercies of God that we are not consumed. That you were not consumed.

  • God help us all,i recently got to know i’m hepatitis B positive, i have never had sex my whole life cuz i believe in celibacy before marriage everyone in my home came out negative, so where did i get it from needle prick, from the salon, syringe, other sharp objects? i really do not know Please do not judge him, bad things happen to good people.

    • I actually felt your pain Dammy. I am not a Pastor but I want to join my faith with yours and declare supernatural healing for you right this moment in Jesus’ name. Jehovah Rapha is a miracle worker. Remain blessed my sister, God will complete your joy. Amen.

  • If the foundations be faulty what can the righteous do? I believe there’s a reason God expects purity from us even at relationship level. God will not allow his children walk into the lion’s den. Is the reason you pray before going into any relationship. What is love? Love is not enough. You don’t understand,the heart of man is desperately wicked and evil who can know it. We should allow God lead us and not our emotions. They can lead us astray. I’m glad you came out unscathed. I believe you have learnt your lesson. If there will be another man,, he should be screened based on God’s criteria and nothing less. You deserve life and the best of it. Good luck.

  • dear poster, ur late husband, God rest his soul may never have cheated on u. there are so many ways a person can get hiv. and then there are people who’s systems just cant get infected by hiv either cos of high immunity or some genetic setting. studies have shown that some people are more likely than others to get infected based on their genetic build up. so please, live life, dont be afraid to meet another man, ur child needs a father figure and u need a companion…. makes life more bearable.

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