DEAR MIM: How Hubby Uses Social Media is Fast Tearing Our Once Happy Home Apart
I have been married for four years now. I won’t say we’ve not had our ups and downs but it’s been on a light note compared to what is happening now.
It all started when we wanted to buy a new car. Hubby wanted to buy from one of his friends who sells abroad. So, he sent pictures of the car to me via Whatsapp to show hubby since he wasn’t on any of the social media platforms. Subsequently, he disturbed hubby to download Whatsapp so he could send the pictures to him directly and he accepted.
Not too longer after, my brother came around and hubby told him to download the app for him. He did immediately and also activated a Facebook account for him – that was how the problem in my once peaceful home started as now, hubby spends every minute on Facebook and Whatsapp.
What worries me even more is that all his friends on Facebook are girls and he’s always the first to chat them up
very early in the morning, even before talking to me.
Recently, I saw a Whatsapp message he sent to his married friend complementing her curves, telling her how sexy and tempting her ass is and all that. I got furious because he never pays me compliments despite the fact that I always do. I’m not bad looking, and even after two kids, I’m a size 14. So, I confronted him and he apologized.
Still, I got another shocker yesterday when I saw a message he sent to a girl whom he claimed he doesn’t know. He had used endearments like ‘sweetie’ and all. As usual, I confronted him, he apologized and I forgave him. However, today again, my 3-year-old son opened his Whatsapp page and gave the phone to me only for me to see where my hubby asked a girl, ‘When was the last time that ass was fucked?’ It really broke my heart.
I confronted him angrily but he didn’t say anything. I had to just leave the house. I drove down to church to cool off and when I came back, he was carrying on as if nothing happened. I am not against him chatting with girls but as a married man that he his, there are some things that he shouldn’t be discussing with girls.
Besides, he has a calling to serve in the ministry as an evangelist, so, this whole thing is really tearing me apart. I want the house to advise me on what to do because as it is, I’m already tired of this marriage.
He just started that’s why he’s chatting like social media is running away. I would say give it time, he will get tired real soon. But my concern is all those girls he keeps chatting up. You need to stand your ground once and for all before it gets out of hand. Sorry you are going through this dear poster.
Why are you tired of the marriage now? You want to divorce him because you saw a message? What will you do if you catch him with a girl? Sometime l think people most especially women should stop disturbing themselves over hubby chat and facebook friends.The man just got introduce to what he isnt using before and the man is busy catching fun yet you just want him to be idle with his new found love(social media)? Please give him a break before you push him into the main business then he goes out of control. Give him some space to explore and soon he will get tired and face his calling. Dont do the work of the Holy Spirit so let him guide him and lead him aright.
Haba, with those dirty and nasty chats?
It’s very disappointing reading your comment
Sexual and nasty chats are okay from a married man to strange women, he is just exploring, wow!!
*shakingmyhead *
You know he has a wife right? Who has feelings right?
Besides those chats are only the beginning of nude pics and actual acts
Because one is online doesn’t mean there should do inappropriate things especially when the feelings of another party is involved..but of course, this wouldn’t make sense to someone that reasons like you do.. It’s a shame really
@dear poster, what you condone, will continue. Take a stand and do not quiver because NONE OF THIS IS OKAY.
Really???? He needs to be cautioned, imagine the nastiness??? Go to your pastor and relate everything to him since he’s an evangelist in the church, let him talk to him. This man is going astray and needs to be tamed b4 it gets out of hand.
Exactly.
He needs to be cautioned.or better stiill,relate with one of ur brothers or sisters,save their name on watsup with male names and chat dirty with them,then leave ur phone carelessly were he will see the chats,lets see how he will react to it
Asomugha blessing I love u for this comment thank u so much
He may just be catching fun with no strings attached.Sit him down and casually ask him how he would feel if he sees such chats in your phone.Tell him how his chats really makes you feel.Rather than confront him everytime,talk about it once and for all Nothing beats communication in marriage
Please just rest ur head and think of how u can manage ur home, since u have free access to his phone just delete thy girls numbers and that solves thy issue a bit
women sha just becos u saw a chat msg on his phone u want divorce
Dear please don’t support such nasty chat
My dear pls dnt be too tired over ur husband but y not confront him again in a polite manner ad ask him some questions
My dear take it easy ok
Some men seif
Just a chat? Nawa for some women sha. With those nasty and dirty chat? Poster it’s beyond a chat o. Report him to your pastor since he forms spiritual in the church.
I agree with you Henry Danarry. Just chat??? Isn’t that how most of these illicit affairs start? Through “just chats?” Why compliment another woman who is not your wife when you never ever compliment your wife? Andwhy dirty chats? Poster, talk with him for the last time and demand he puts an end to all communication that is not in good faith. It’s affecting you and your marriage. if he refuses, tell him that maybe you need to seek counsel from other people probably your spiritual leaders. Pray too. Best wishes.
Hmmmmm, men they can never change
Please tall to him and stand your ground. Don’t run away haba, it hasn’t gotten to that
Have a talk with him and tell him how he’s been hurting u it’s well with u
That he is new on social does not give him the right to engage in dirty chats with members of the opposite sex some of whom are married. Is that what everyone does including the people who are saying because he is new to social media? No! He has to put a stop to it. I wonder why some men choose to waste their time chatting unnecessarily with members of the sex instead of playing (yes) with their beautiful spouses and children and talking to their God (since some claim to be christians)or even sleeping if there is nothing else to do n earth. It’s surely much better than doing things that harm one’s marriage. Poster, you are right to feel that way. Talk to him once more and d so in a calm manner. Pray about it too. Keep praying for yourself, your husband and your marriage. You may have to involve someone who your husband respects if things worsen but’hopefully, they will get better. Peace.
I agree with you. talk to him as a wife in a gentle way. since he in the ministry of God, get good bible verses to support your view. there is nothing that cannot be find in the Bible. Please pray along there is nothing God cannot do. sometime devil has a way to enter into a happy home to destroy it please, do not allow him (John 10:10). Remember, “Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands” prov 14:1. Also “There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health” Prov12:18 and “A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit” prov 15:4. Be wise and all shall be well. god bless
He should not indulge in everything that he think just for the sake of “being free” or he was just introduce to it. There has to be limits or total stoppage to this nasty chat now because what next? He will start meeting those girls, and then he brings strange troubles to his innocent wife.
Talk to him about your findings and how you feel about it. Let him know that you are not cool with it. Let him understand that you have no problem with him chatting with other women but fflirting can lead to something else. Any respectable man will not go about commenting on women asses. You don’t need to preach to him or condemn his actions by using the scriptures. He already knows its wrong. Let him understand the limit tomwhat you can take. I won’t stay aloof over such a thing.
Report to the leadership of the ministry your hubby is suppose to serve, he needs serious counseling.
Some men sha, they prefer to compliment other women outside, and neglect their woman at home, am not in support of those nasty chat, talk with him if he refuse then report him
this dose nasty words????y the vulgarity.
i tire foe some women on mim.if d woman sent such msgs wd she still b in dat house.and fr a man who serves in d temple…i just tire for una reasoning..madam abeg report him to d pastor jare.he needs help hes loosing it gradually.let him loook into this matter jor just b prayin fr him.
Stop attacking him, because he would go further to do more than you are seeing. Give him time ,then talk to him on how you feel about it. Jokingly tell him you need all those compliments, with time he will stop it. At first they are glued to it and carried away but with time it dies off. Don’t panick some men are like that. My husband did the same but today he is not into it anymore, I opened an account using a sexy pics I noticed he broke out of that habit a long time ago.
learning
So surprised despite his Manyou warnings he is like a baby with candy. Talk to him aagain
That is how they start. Soon, he’ll put a password on his phone and deny you access so that he has all the freedom to mess up. Pray and devote yourself to serving your God. Don’t let any man make you lose your peace.
It is a distraction from the devil to make him deviate from his calling. Just go on your kneels on his behalf.