Does My Father Need To Know What His Dear Brother Did To Me?
I am not going to beat about the bush in narrating what started when I was just 12 years old.
My dad has an only brother who my siblings and I looked up to. He was such a nice and uncle who always brought treats for us anytime he came visiting. He was very strict nonetheless, so we were sure never to cross our boundaries with him.
Whenever mum and dad had somewhere to go together, rather than leaving us alone, Uncle Sunny was always asked to come baby sit us. I am the oldest of all the kids. One day, while mum and dad where away, Uncle made sure we all went to bed early. While I was sleeping, Uncle Junior came to the room, woke me up and took me to the living room. The TV was on, and porn was showing. My uncle made me watch and of course, I became wet. He touched my budding breasts. He didn’t penetrate me that night but he touched and excited my body.
This touching of body parts continued anytime Uncle Junior got the chance to. He would touch me whenever he had the opportunity and there was no one watching. He finally got his way to penetrate me when I was 16. Yes, my father’s precious brother had sex with me and my parents never got to find out.
I got into University and went out of control. I got into a lot of trouble and kept late nights which led to me failing my exams. I was labelled a rebel as I became the bad egg. I was always so unhappy and angry. I’m 26 years old now and still feel the pain while my uncle went off to get married.
I want to put everything behind me but to do that, I think I need to confront my uncle and tell my dad. I know this could destroy their relationship for ever and the blame would be all on me. So I ask, should I tell my dad or not?
This is so touching. I wont advice you to go striaght to your dad rather tell a pastor or an elderly person who can handle it then they will tell your dad. Some people are just mean and senseless. Taking advantage of an innocent neice.
what is d essence of telln d father now? to me she was eenjoying it at dt early stage if nt she wld v tld d parent d 1st day ds tin happend
U wld be said it since. The damage has already been done
Why suffer for this long before openning up. Please inform your father ASAP. It’s well
Y wait this long, tell/speak out so that you will be free 4ever. He is a beast
I think u should go ahead and confront him and tell ur dad about what happened,not minding the damage that can be done…enough damage have been done already,if not u might just go on venting ur anger on urself till u loose it completely. I pray God gives u d grace to forgive urself and others and let go completely cus that’s d only way out of this mess.
Hmmmmm, I think the best thing is tell your dad all that have happened btw you two in the past even duo is too late but his brother have already destroy you with that and only God can revive u. Ow I wish u were able to say it out earlier than naw
Pls speak up
Hie! Abomination I feel like crying
Don’t u think is late to open up?
U cn report him
Its quite a long time now, nonetheless, you need to add speak up so you can find inner peace and move on, if your mom is still alive go to her first, let her know everything there’s to know, I think she’d be in a better position to take it further to your dad.
Hmmm it is your words against his.What if he denies everything and claims you want to taint his image and ruin his marriage?According to your post everyone sees you as a rebel and bad egg so this gist could be seen and dismissed as one of your ‘bad characters’.Why did you bottle it up for this long?Why decide to open up now?So these are some of the things you should be prepared for when reporting the incidence However I advise you let it out.Even if no one believes you,at least your mind will be free and trust me your dad will give it a thought privately.
Its quite a long time now, nonetheless, you need to speak up so you can find inner peace and move on with your life. If your mom is within reach I think you should talk to her first, tell her all there is to know about this issue, she can further take it up to your dad and also teach that stupid inlaw of hers a lesson he’d not forget in a hurry.
If telling will. Make you feel better then by all means you should. What a horrible thing he did. ..kai
If telling would give you closure, then my dear go ahead. Life is too short to live a bitter one.
It quite a long time but u need to let it out ASAP not because u want to destroy him but immediately u let it out, ur will mind will be free n u will be able 2 pick the pieces of ur live n make it useful. I CNT imagine all would HV done 2 urslf. U need to be strong so u can turn ur life around 4 good. God will judge him
u should tell him.but y wait this long.what if he denies it.
What if he denies it? You should have opened up long ago
Open up to your dad and free yourself ….that your uncle deserves no pity. He is a disgusting paedophile.
Say it out and let it off your chest cos this kinda issue will keep hunting you for the rest of your life. You need to make peace with yourself.
Evil that men do…Dear please open up
Don’t tell any of your relatives neither someone that can leak the matter but rather call your uncle attention in a good manner and tell him your mind bitterly telling him how painful is this to you and its negative impact in your life. I believe he will regret and apologize, then you find a place in your heart to forgive him and yourself by doing so your creator will be happy with you. Remember your uncle is a blood and flesh, he may be carried away by your beauty after lusting alone the way. Thanks for opening up your problem, it shall be well with you
If u ask me,the sexual predator might have deceived the poor bae by promising her marriage which we all know is an anathema to do so,her parent will cast a whammy if it so happens,the girl is obfuscated because the sexual predator is getting attached to his bethrotal,the girl is only doing this because she is melodramtically devastated but I really want those paedophille to be brought to book because he might spread his predatory act to pre teen
You are not a girl. if you are, you can only image it. i tell you there are a lot of sexual predator close relations, well trusted. just pray that yours will never fall a victim. thanks.
in fact, i will suggest you call that so called uncle of yours before your parents and lay the cat out of the bag. you will be free as the air and let the problem be his. if you keep quiet, he will keep his act on and on. please let the world know that he is not the sweet uncle or brother that he pretense to be. if he could do this to his own brother he may as well killed your dad indirectly. this is my take on this. thank
At first,speak to ur uncle and see if ur mind can be at peace, after speaking to ur uncle and u still feel like talking to ur dad then u can go ahead
Its too late. The damage has already been done, nevertheless tell your father so that your young ones will be protected
Tell your father
If feel you will more damage to yourself if you say it at this time. If you were a good child, you have would told your father immediately. My son is just 4 years now but he reports to virtually very thing that happened I was away. He even report his mother to me. Like I said, if you were a good child, you would have told your father when the touch started. Dad, I dont like the way uncle touches when are you away. This would have solved the whole issue before the damage was done.
This your reply is very silly.
It’s unfortunate but I still blame you because you should have spoken up before now.Just speak up now
its well my dear. I feel your pains . Evil Uncles every where. I advice you let the cat out of the bag but be diplomatic in handling it.
you were enjoying it all while that was why you did not raise alarm all those times, now you’ve grown cos he is getting married, so you want your uncle all for your self. pls do not bring amenity between your father and brother.
I have similar, happened wen I was 10 but he’s not blood related to my dad. I’m 25 now and, I can’t seem to 4get how my innocence was snatched. Though no penetration, he’ll make me masturbate him and he’ll play with my clits. But it motivates me the kind of relationship I’ll want to hv with my kids and not to trust anyone with their care.
if u tell ur dad now you will exend and spread the hurt you have been feeling to others, what you need is healing not retribution. Instead go to God and talk to him about it, discuss it with and lay everthing bare before him, i assure you he will lead you in his word to ur healing bringing out beauty from it.
I think the first person to discuss this issue with is your maker (God), and ask for His directive for He alone has the blue print of human’s life and your is not excluded
Letting go, is d hardest thing to do in life but u need to do it so that you can move on. If it means u have to cry, do so, jst let it go. If you tell ur parents, they might not believe u. This is to be expected in d nigerian society. As for vengeance, leave that to God. Let God fight for u. Ur uncle will come back bfor ur entire family to beg u for forgiveness n by then, God wld have put u whr u deserve. God bless u n his grace will be sufficient for u
You can visit jw.org to search for answers 2 ur questions. I remember an awake article entitled ‘d secret wounds of child abuse’. I’m surw u’ll find it comfprting
No one might believe you but speak up. This will help you to move on and relieve you of un forgiveness to yourself.
Personally I think you should. From my own experience memories of sexual abuse haunts you for a long time. One day when I find that magic recipe that heals the wound. I will share it, until then tell so you can start your healing process.
Pls dear better let ur Dad know so that He will be aware who his so called lovely brother really is. Because that your uncle don’t have any love for your family.
there is no point in telling anybody because u have been enjoying ur uncle since age 12 till u clocked 16yrs. I don’t blame ur uncle but you for remaining silent for long just for a reason best known to you.
I agree with Angel Henry, tell your pastor who will eventually inform your dad. But you shouldn’t have kept this for this long. It is well.
if you tell your dad, you’ll be free from your conscience and you will safe others who are his victims presently because marriage doesn’t really change a man’s animal nature. i’m sure he’s still doing it
Why do we talk as little children, this is the game you were enjoying until your uncle got married and you now become jealous. You are now seeing ur uncle as ur first love and you are angry someone is there. I think you should move on with ur life. Life is like that, sometime you gain, some other times you loose. But come to think of it, can we say there is guy you are dating at the moment. change your feeling and life goes on.
I understand your feelings, like used and dumped. this is what you would have done when the touching started, you rather enjoyed/endured it. so move on with life..
my dear, firstly am so sorry for what u have gone through, it is a pity.now, u said he is ur father’s only brother right?, considering that I’ll advice u not to tell ur dad,bcos telling ur dad might send him to his early grave. He might be too shocked and disappointed to take it.so go to that ur uncle and tell him what ur life has become bcos of him, if he is genuinely remourseful, i bet u u will knw and find internal peace and forgive him and ur slef, but if he dnt and claims right, then tell ur mom. God help u.
Molesting is a very bad disease some elderly people are good at…if am to b a president in dis life anybody dat commits such art will b sentence to death… I don’t blame dis ur girls dat victim of such cos in a normal sense is very hard for a girl to let go d person dat deflowered her.. But is only God dat will take vengeance on dis molesters
I don’t blame Your oncle o because you are enjoying it that why. You never tell anybody till you grow up to 26yeas. Before you now realise your mistake if you even tell yoer parent now they will not do anything because is old story
Pls my sister don’t just go n tell ur parent bcos he may deny it but 1 thing I will tell u is that u should set a trap 4 him so that he can not be able 2 deny it, invite him 2 sumwhere n bring up the matter n let him 2 understand what u ve being going through since what he did 2 u n make sure u provoke him n u record everything both of u said n don’t let him 2 know that u record anything, u can now go n tell ur parent so if he try 2 deny it then u will now use the recording against him, be wise girl .
Any day you say the truth, you are liberated! The choice is yours!