Dear MIMers: After 5 Girls, Hubby Wants Us to Try for a Boy Again Despite the Risks to My Life
I’m so frustrated right now.
I have two sets of twin girls aged 8 and 6. Two years after our second twin girls’ birth, I enrolled for my masters degree, and upon its completion, my husband said we should try for a boy.
I soon got pregnant but sadly had a stillbirth baby boy, and following severe complications from his caesarean birth, doctors warned against another pregnancy. However, my husband was so depressed that few months later, I gave in to his pleas to try for a boy again.
Last year, I welcomed another girl in the UK via another caesarean section. It was a very difficult pregnancy and birth, and everyone still can’t believe I survived. My baby girl is a miracle baby, and I, the perfect description of a survivor.
To my utmost surprise, Hubby has started pestering me again, saying we should inseminate male eggs towards the end of the year. Meanwhile, I suggested this twice after our son’s stillbirth and he vehemently objected. Does he want to kill me? I’m so depressed at how selfish he is. He keeps assuring me he’ll give me the best medical care as if that’s all I need. Why is he so desperate and closing his eyes to the fact that he could lose me?
He’s a very doting dad to our girls and thanks to him, I lack nothing and I’m living my dream as an entrepreneur but his desperation for a boy despite his exposure beats me. Have I not tried enough? How long will I continue risking my life?
My parents and only sibling who is his supposed friend have talked to him to no avail. I admit my husband is quite full of himself and a tough nut to crack. He has had a heated argument with my aunt and two of my close friends over this same issue.
I have suggested we adopt a son but he’ll have non of that. Also told him about using a surrogate but he won’t listen. I love him and don’t want to lose him to another woman. What is the way out for me? Please advise.
It is your body and you should do as you please. Don’t let anyone dictate to you not even your husband because if you die due to birth complications he will move on asap. If you think you have had enough kids and your body won’t take any more then hang your boots and be alive for your girls abeg.
The bible says LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF not love your neighbor MORE THAN YOURSELF. THAT NEIGHBOR there includes your husband as well.
Doctors are advicing against that and you know the risk involved. No one’s got a spare life so please don’t go risking your life for a man. God forbid premature death but if you die in the process( God forbid) he’ll forget about you and get another wife immediately. If i were you, i would go get an IUD secretly. ENOUGH RISKING YOUR LIFE FOR A MAN. NO ONE IS WORTH DYING FOR.
If he will go and marry another woman because of that, then that should tell you how much he “cherished” your life.
WE SHALL GIVE ACCOUNT OF OUR LIVES ALONE NOT WITH OUR HUSBANDS.
Please for the sake of your girls don’t give in to his pressure.Insist on surrogacy or better still let your doctor invite him for a chat and tell him the dangers he will be making you go through.See if anything happens to you(God forbid)he will marry another woman to give him a male child and your girls may be living in a house instead of a home
My dear if doctor has told to keep off from pregnancy pls do unless u don’t value yr life
Do u hv spear life?
Speechless
As much as you fear not to loose him to another woman, remember you’ve got to stay alive and take care of your girls. Who doesn’t know in this generation that a girl child is the most important child???
Pls pray about it that he changes his mind bur in all pls dont concur
Stay alive for your kids
Hmmm men with this their heir sef. Dear pls love ur life and remember your lovely children, they need someone to take care of them
guess u the cat with nine lives.please you either loose him to keep your life.or loose your life my dear….
am not advising you to try another pregnancy but even if you want to, you should wait for like four to five years so that your body system can build up and come to normal.then you can think of having more babies.
Don’t forget that no man is worth dying for. If u die he will marry another wife. Say no to more kids
Hmmm… better you lose him than lose your life o!.. your girls need you.
Please do not allow satan’s plan to fulfil in ur life, God can never allow a trial dat will weigh u down. This is a case dat u can handle. Stay alive pls
Hmmmmmmm
Hmmmm, if u must try, wait for about 2-4years bfr u try again . But if he can’t wait then don’t try else you die
Dis is a serious matter o. Let your doctor talk to him. If he still doesn’t change his mind then leave him for God
My dear, I will not advice you to try having another child against medical advice. Pray for your husband and decide to live for your children. No one can take care of your kids as much as you would. God will intervene in your situation
Hum please your girls need you to stay alive who doesn’t knw dat what a man can do a woman can do better,consider ur girls in dis situation
Hmmmmmmm
A subtle disobedience does not go against the bible injunction that says “you should be submissive to your husband”; especially when your life is in danger. Having been warned by the doctors and having survived two caesarean sections; your life should come first, unless you do not like life. I therefore urge you to pray so that your husband would have a change of heart and see reason with you.
I don’t expect you to be confused when it comes to protecting your life. My school mate gave birth to five girls, and after few years, she tried again because the husband was already dating someone,. After nine tough months, she gave birth to a boy but lost her own life, leaving six children behind. Less than a year, the husband got married to the lady, and moved to Canada with his new wife. He left the six children from his dead wife with his aged mother in the village, sending money once in a while, never constant It is your own personal decision, because only you owns your life. Stay alive for the girls or try again and you might loose your life. The choice is yours. Cheers
Only traditionalists and cultists worry mostly about boy children.
my dear,ur girls nids u so pls stay alive to take gud care of demm n I no dey will become somebody someday,wat a man can do a woman will even do best.
My aunt tried having another child against medical advice and she is dead now(may her soul RIP). Her children are motherless and hubby move on. Be wise!
Pls do consider this…if you were to pass who would love your girls like u would…u are replaceable to your husband, very in fact.. Wether you are alive or dead…but no one would love your girls like you would…if your husband still makes you feel insecure after 5 kids and 1 still birth, then he is not worth your time not to talk of your life…starting planning ahead..
Your life is more important. lf the man really loves you he would give glory to God instead of plastering for a boy child. Speak to God and HE will direct you path.
Your being alive to take care of your girls is more important than a son you are not even sure of.If he decides to go for another woman, be rest assured your girls will be there for you.Don’t risk your precious life.
Pleeeeaaasssse my dear Sister, be wise. You are educated and I’m sure you have a source of livelihood. If you don’t, please look for. The love you think he’s showering on you and your children will end immediately you die. He will then cherish another woman even if she doesn’t have a baby boy. Pray for him to see reasons with you. Pray and also train your girls to be ladies of great esteem. Tomorrow, he’ll appreciate it. Once again, be wise and prayerful.