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My Only Brother is My 19-Year-Old Daughter’s Biological Father

My Only Brother is My 19-Year-Old Daughter’s Biological Father

I decided to share my story on this platform in the hopes that it will help relieve the guilt and depression of keeping this secret, which only my parents and dad’s former house-help know, for almost two decades.

I was about 16 years old and awaiting my SSSCE results when my then 18 year old brother first abused me. My mum and dad were separated and she had convinced him to come and live with us after he abused my little cousin at my dad’s house during a holiday.

My mum clearly felt my dad did a bad job of raising him because of the nature of his Civil Engineering job and thought taking over will help before he secured university admission. Sadly, he pounced on me few weeks after his arrival. The abuse continued right under my mother’s nose for about 2 months and each time, I would cry and beg him not to rape me but he never listened. He drugged me a few times, raped me and later apologized – it was like a force always pushed him.

I tried telling my mum a few times, but she would bully me into silence. It was as if she knew what her son was doing to me but preferred to stay in denial. Then, during one of my dad’s visits, I told him I wanted to go with him. My mum seemed terrified and called me into her room. She begged me not to go with him and said I could stay with her sister instead if I really wanted to leave. I however stood my ground and eventually left that day with my dad.

For about a month later, I never had enough courage to tell my dad, besides, he was hardly around. I became very close to our house-help and shared my ordeal with her. She however didn’t believe me or maybe she pretended not to at the time, after all, she knew my brother’s previous record.

Weeks later, my body started to feel alien. I had missed my period for 2 months. Our house-help called my mum about my complaints and she came over. She took me to the hospital and the worst was soon confirmed. As we left the hospital, my mum trembled as I cried. She didn’t ask me who was responsible.

She subsequently brought my evil brother’s things back to my dad’s house and begged me to return home with her. Confused, I did and when we got home, she asked me what had been going on between my brother and I and we both wept profusely.

I was however surprised when I overheard her telling my dad that evening that my brother chose to return because they weren’t getting along and she couldn’t let both of us stay with him. She later told him I was pregnant but had not confessed who was responsible. I was shocked! I felt betrayed. My mum loved her son more than me and was ready to protect him at my expense. At that point, I was depressed and even wondered if she was really my mother, despite our striking resemblance.

I later confronted her and she said I needed to forgive my brother, especially as he is my only sibling, and we would abort the baby. She added that it was best to keep my ordeal secret, claiming my brother was sorry and would change. I loathed both of them even more from that moment. I felt so helpless and useless. I hated myself for falling victim. I cried. I wanted to die.

My dad visited few days later and instead of asking me who was responsible, he called me names, saying since I chose to disgrace the family, I would live to nurse the product of my waywardness. My mum sat there, pleading with me with her eyes.

I moved in with my mother’s sister the next day – I just couldn’t stand my own mother. Even then, she was still a nightmare. She would lie to anyone that asked that I said I couldn’t determine my baby’s father. She easily passed me off as a wayward teenager but would privately cry and beg me. She supported me throughout the pregnancy and watched me like an eagle.

I vowed I’d kill the baby with my bare hands once it arrived and run far away where nobody would ever find me. However, when my daughter arrived 19 years ago, I loved her at first sight. She was adorable.

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Few months after she was born, my dad’s house-help convinced me to tell my dad the whole truth. He was spellbound! He confronted my mum, cut ties with her completely and subsequently sent my brother out of his house.

He took me for series of counselling sessions and advised me to give my daughter up for adoption but I decided to keep her. I admire the modest and ambitious young woman she has become but she reminds me of a sordid past every minute. I doubt I can ever bring myself to tell her the truth. I already lied that her dad wants nothing to do with us and that’s heartbreaking enough. I’ve chosen to remain single and just be there for her like my mother never was.

My brother is still a total disgrace – he dropped out of school, lives a reckless life, has no job; he’s a complete a*shole. But my mum still acts like his guardian angel. I know he will be her death.

I hope parents, especially mums like mine, learn from my sad story.

Photo credit: womansday.com

View Comments (46)
  • Very sad story. It’s better to open up to your daughter now than she getting to know from others because the truth must one day be revealed to her.

  • Oh my God this is a sad thing to read how much more go through. I am so sorry you went through this as a child.

  • Wat a heart breaking story! So sorry about all dat happened but don’t ever tink of taking ur life or d baby in future.

  • Bursts out in tears dt ur bros must be possed but my dear u can take ur daughter to d church ad open up to her ok. God is ur strength

  • Oh!, so sorry for your ordeal, what is this world turning into. May God direct you on how to go about it & take away your sorrow.

  • I think this should be a very big lesson to every woman. First women should learn how to train their sons in a godly way. its not a crime to raise our sons to marry as virgins. also let’s give our daughters an enabling environment to open up to us and tell us what they experience on daily basis. Madam, I think also u need to tell ur daughter the truth. the choice whether to accept ur accursed brother as her father is hers. May God continuously strnghten u.

  • There is a saying in Yoruba kokoro to je efo, idi efo lo wa…….”Household enemy”. It is well dear

  • Lord!!!! For the first time am short of words, we should all learn from this and be very careful, days are evil.

  • Aaah, this is so sad. God give us the wisdom to raise our children rightly. You’ve been through alot but i’m happy your dad stood by you when he got to know the truth. How i wish you told him earlier.. You are very courageous woman. May God lead you.

  • The truth has a way of coming out.. May God give you the courage to tell your child the truth at the right time. It’s not your fault.

  • So sad a story. please tell your daughter who her father is. one day, your mother will pass away that your brother will look for you and start blackmailing you in order to survive. he is evil and will never change except he come to Christ. if you don’t know how to tell you girl her origin, tell her your life story like a story about girl at then end of the story let her know that the girl was you and she is the product. she will love you the more for given her life and not given her away for adaption too. God bless you.

  • Omg! Really I can’t put my thought in words ,
    I pray that God will help u to b able to tell your daughter, so that someone who knows the story wouldn’t tell het in an heartbreaking way.

  • This is so sad. I can only imagine what you went through. In all, I think your daughter is old enough to know the truth. Nothing hides forever

  • I feel ur pain love.buh tnk God u didn’t hurt ur bby cus u wuld ve regretted it.God remains on d throne n he s gonna c u tru as he alwys does.

  • You are a very strong woman. I’m so sorry you went through all dis horror. My prayer for you is that you will find true love someday and give your heart the opportunity to trust again. Your mother did not do well at all. May God help her. Pls forgive her and your brother too. It’s not easy but God can make it easy for you. It is well with you

  • Hmmmm! Heartbreaking story. May God continue to heal you. And to think that you live with this secret for 19 years! You are a strong lady.
    As the saying goes ” there is nothing hidden under the sun”, please find time, one of your quality moment with your daughter and let her know her story because it would be more devastating for her if she hears it from another source.
    Sorry dear.

  • The Lord is your rock and your salvation, pls tell your daughter the truth she will understand n love you more

  • OMG!!!,can’t believe u actually gone through this.please let ur daughter know her story,may the good Lord b ur strength.

  • Trust in God to help you sort this out. I know He’ll make it possible for you to tell your daughter without losing her! My heart goes out to you! You are blessed.

  • My aunty is my mother and my father is my uncle how disgusting it is to hear this by the gal?????? school ????

  • Crying !! God will always be ur guard nd guide… that’s d one big disadvantage of separation, it turns d children to unbelievable monster sometime..

  • Child abusers. Sick sick people. Especially your own sibling. I am short of words.

  • what do you say to this kind of thing…this is sad indeed. Everything is open to God and He will sort you out

  • May the Lord heal ur heart & may u find love one day. Pls find a way to tell ur daughter & promise to love her for the more. She will understand

  • Anyway, the truth is that you have to tell her who the father is, in the other hand your brother is now been punish for his crime, and he has no ground to stand so tell her the whole stroy about her life. this will help her too you know/

  • I support your not telling your daughter because she might loose heart n see him in her n might attempt suicide to wipe the slate clean. But live your life for you n not for your daughter bcos of guilt. You are such a HERO, lady.

  • This is serious, it is a foundation problem, and most be handled. Lady you need to tell your daughter but let her be of age so that she can reason with you and while telling her follow the following steps
    1. give your life to God
    2. be a believer
    3. forgive yourself that is very important
    4. fast and pray as God direct
    5. allow a faithful man of God to be in that scene.
    God is your strength.

  • Oh my!!!!! Dis is disheartening!!! So so sorry dear for what u went through. Mehn!!! Can’t but say you are such a strong woman. I really pray that our ever loving God will comfort u& giv u d courage &strength to move on and also tell ur amazing daughter about her source. Stay happy dear

  • WHAT A WORLD, PUT THE POTTER CAN PUT YOUR LIFE BACK TOGETHER AGAIN . JUST ACCEPT JESUS

  • OMG! Sh*t happens! But u must tell ur daughter anyway. Don’t wait till she’s 30. If u don’t tell her now, someone else will and u may not like what would follow.

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