Dear MIMers: Hubby’s Oath With His Late Wife is Ruining Our Lives

Recently, I read a post about a woman whose husband asked to take an oath with him. It inspired me to share my own experience and the pains I’m going through now.

My hubby took an oath with his first wife. She was already several months pregnant before they got married. Unfortunately, the marriage did not last. She died two days after giving birth to their baby girl – barely one month after their wedding.

My hubby was disturbed because of the covenant between them. However, two years later, he got another lady pregnant. His dad insisted he cannot marry the lady because she is a Muslim. The reason for his objection is
best known to him because my mother-in-law is also a Muslim and the lady’s father works in the same office as my father-in-law though my father-in-law is a senior colleague.

Throughout her pregnancy, my hubby was terribly sick and thought he would die. He was sick for seven months and could not even attend his baby’s naming ceremony. After he was discharged, the lady brought the baby to his house but things soon took a sad turn as the baby started falling ill incessantly. My mother-in-law subsequently sought spiritual help and she was told to go back and ask her son to confess what he had done.

Meanwhile, he met me and I agreed to marry him, oblivious of his ordeal. I only realized we couldn’t leave together as a couple when I got pregnant and was told to save my life and his second child’s by staying away from his house.

Since his late wife’s death 5 years ago, hubby has spent a lot of money on pastors and alfas just to break the oath but there’s been no positive change. One alfa even told him to wait for five years before remarrying but this month makes it five years already and nothing has changed for the better. We are still looking for a way out and I’m now 27 weeks gone.

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Hubby has been telling me he will have his child under his roof even if it costs him all his savings because he loves me some much but I’m scared of what might happen. Whenever he raises the topic, he kneels down and begs me to accept to live with him. He’s always the first to say sorry whenever we argue just to allow peace to reign. I have made him understand the situation is not easy on me at all but we’re both helpless currently.

If only he didn’t take any oath but what’s done is done. I keep praying that God has mercy on him. A lot have happened which I can’t reveal here. What can we do? What’s the way out of this dire situation? Should I risk moving in with him and hope God will have mercy? I’m scared and confused.

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