10 Things Not To Do When Your Toddler Throws A Tantrum (Part 2)

Dolapo Marinho

Continued from part 1.

6. Do NOT dismiss

As tantrums usually occur with children between the ages of 1 and 3, parents tend to view them as babies, with not a lot to share! This is not always the case. Many toddlers though still not very good at using their words, are very much able to think clearly!  This delay between thought and speech causes frustration as they are not able to communicate what they want effectively. And because mummy and daddy think they are just taking gibberish, they fly into a rage of frustration!

Exercise patience when your little one is trying to tell you something. You might be surprised that your little tot really has a lot to say!  Spend some time to try and understand what he means and you will be rewarded with the happy, smiley munchkin!

7. Do NOT cause a scene

The middle of a toddler’s meltdown is certainly not the right time to teach life lessons.  Many parents think that their parenting ability is being tested when their child is supposedly behaving badly. So, they cause a scene and mock the child in front of other people. I believe that diversionary tactics go a long way towards helping children out of their tantrums.  A child that has become fixated on something negative can also become distracted by something positive, if you play your cards right.  Create a diversion, shift the goal post. If he is screaming about being in his car seat, ask him to join you in coating the trees outside his window.  Play his favourite nursery rhyme or give him his cherished toy. He might calm down just as quickly as he flared up!

READ ALSO: 7 Ways to Discipline Your Child Without Spanking

8. Do NOT lose patience

Always remember that you are the grown up in the situation and as such, your behaviour dictates the outcome of the tantrum. Stay calm through it all, so that the child starts to realise that stressful situates require a different approach.  You have to realise that your role as parent is that of a teacher as well.  So your behaviour directly impacts on your child’s behaviour.  If you shout all the time, chances are your child will also shout  all the time.  If you are patient when you talk to him, then most likely are your child will respond the same way.  Show your child the example you want him to follow, always!

9. Do NOT pretend that nothing happened

After a tantrum, you have to discuss with your child why he had a meltdown and how to avoid one in the future.  This is a way of teaching aspects of behavioural development to your child that will last him a lifetime.  Once your child has calmed down, give him a firm hug and settle him into a safe position.  Then have a causal discussion about why he got so upset and see if you can avoid the scenario in the future. A child that gets used to talking about his problems in a rational manner becomes much less frustrated when faced with difficult situations.

10. Do NOT allow your child to feel vulnerable all the time

Many children are deemed badly behaved because their tempers regularly flare up. With children like this,  a deeper reason might become apparent if you take the time to investigate.  Children that lash out a lot are usually those that feel the least secure in themselves and their environment.  They often feel vulnerable and emotionally exposed. Perhaps they are unable to express themselves due to a medical reason or developmental delay, but no one is paying attention.

Do not allow your little toddler to feel like she is unsafe at any time.  Be tuned in to her needs and understand her moods.  As an attentive parent, you will know when something is wrong, even if you don’t know exactly what it is. It might be this crucial aspect of your child’s development that is triggering the tantrums.