Dear MIMsters: How Do I Get This Overbearing Sister-In-Law Out Of My Home?
I married a very good, caring and wonderful man about a year ago and we have an 8 month old baby. I couldn’t have asked for a better husband. Right from when we started dating, he has been so good to me. However, my husband’s younger sister who is 5 years older than I am is a thorn in my flesh.
Before I got married, she used to come to Lagos to buy goods and go back to her base (she is not married yet) but immediately we got married, she practically moved in with us. I was surprised because I and hubby already discussed that no member of each of our families would live permanently with us, at least not for now, as we are just starting life and a family together.
When she came a month after our marriage, I thought she came to buy goods as usual but she came with virtually all her stuffs. Then, we were leaving in a mini one bedroom flat that could hardly contain a pregnant woman and her husband but she felt very comfortable in our discomfort.
Hubby had to ask her in a mild way to go when I put to bed and she got angry and went back home to tell her family hubby chased her out because of his in-law. After the 1 month omugwo, my mum had to leave and I know the main reason she left was because of space.
After my mum left, my sister in-law returned again. God blessed us and we moved into a very much bigger place and she followed. I had to confront hubby to ask him if she came for business after she stayed for a month and there was no sign of going back. Hubby did and she said she will go back in 3 months time. It’s been 5 months down the line and she is still here.
Whenever I am cooking in the kitchen, she will come in to tell me how to do this and that, warning me to make sure it’s delicious as if not, she won’t eat it. Imagine? When my baby was barely 3 months old, I would walk into the sitting room and see her forcing my baby to sit down on her own. I had to tell hubby to ask her to stop it before she damages my baby’s spinal cord. I have lost count of how many times I have overhead her on the phone saying mean things about me and her brother. I have done nothing but accept her as my elder sister and accord her respect.
I am no longer comfortable in my own house and doing things as I want because she must have something to say. It’s just as if she is running my family for me and it’s really putting a strain on my young marriage.
I think hubby is scared to talk to her about this issue again. I overhead her on the phone saying she now lives in Lagos. Please mothers, advice me on what to do. I’m fed up.
If you must live in my house, you must accept the terms, i don’t care if you’re as old as Metusallah. You should give her boundaries and ask her to maintain her space. It’s very obvious she has moved in with you guys, so learn how to be in-charge, it’s your house for crying out loud.
Take the bull by its horn and ask her when she plans to leave. Give her a time frame to move out else she will meet her things outside. All this soft soft people do for inlaws is what makes them misbehave. Whether you are hard or soft, they must talk so do the needful.
It’s totally your husband’s fault, as a man I am just wondering the type of sibling, be it brother or sister, that I cannot stop from coming to my house, when has it become a forceful thing to live with someone…Your husband need to be a man and send his sister packing, I know his family will say you orchestrated it, but as the man, he should be able to protect your interest at all times…I presume his sister is not married, being 5 years older than you, she’s probably frustrated and transferring her frustration to you. If she has the chance she would’ve been married to her brother, so in all, I think it’s sheer jealousy. P.S: You have to keep talking to your husband, he’s not married to his sister, but you, so she needs to give you guys space to enjoy your marriage. #enoughsaid
Omo, ur the woman of the house ooo… Do not allow anyone in the name of sister in law, make u feel otherwise! Take charge please!
hmmmnnn….terms and conditions should apply
The only person to talk her into moving out of your home is your husband. On a very good day, remind him of your decision not live permanently with a family member. Tell him how her presence is affecting you. If nothing changes , action speaks louder than words;get your own family member to move in(that’s what I would have done in your shoes)
U don’t have a problem.That is not serious as some of the mean things I’ be gotten from my mother in law and sis in law.Accommodate her,she doesn’t mean harm.
That sister needs to find her own man , her own marriage, she gotta go. Your hubby needs to make a choice. Talk to him calmly but give him the ultimatum. IF he does not tell her, then you will. After all with all the respect you give her she still speaks trash about you. You may as well give her some real trash to talk about. Be firm, be respectful, be prayerful but speak your mind to hubby and if he does not act….again be firm, be respectful, be prayerful but tell the sister to go. That is your home, your castle, your place of peace and rest.
Don’t tell her to go, but avoid her in every way, by that she will no she is overstaying in your house. Don’t allow her to carry your baby again, she might want to transfer aggression on the baby. Cook your food the way you like it if she complain tell her that is what you want and that is how you want it done, if she is not satisfy let her go into kitchen by herself by that you have mouth to talk to your hubby what she has turned herself into.
Let your husband do the taking, remind him of the agreement you both made about family members living with you, do an assignment for me pray for her to locate her man, she will gladly leave in peace
The truth of the matter is that such people are there to make you unhappy, there is nothing you do to please them. If you continue to take their Shit, they will ruin your life so it’s time you took action and run your home the way you want it.