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Dear MIMsters: Should I Reveal Who My Mother Really Is Or Keep Suffering In Silence?

Dear MIMsters: Should I Reveal Who My Mother Really Is Or Keep Suffering In Silence?

I’m a single mother. I broke up with the father of my child months ago but my mother loves him. She advised me to be in the relationship with the man for two years for the sake of my child even though I told her how abusive the man was and how he had once tried to kill me.

She always says I did not do my son a favour by breaking up with his father and it hurts me because I already know that but sincerely, I only broke up with him because he was abusive especially verbally. He always called me names and told me that there were better women he could date.

Now he is in a relationship but my mother still punishes me every day for breaking up with him. Today I told her how I felt, that it pains me that she is always on my baby daddy’s side and not mine. I told her just how I’ve protected her over the years with the hope that she will be by my side always. I told her that even when her previous boyfriends raped me years back I didn’t tell her because she loved the man and was happy to protect her happiness and avoid her being by herself since she values being with a man so much.

To my utter shock, she hurt me so bad by telling me that since it happened five years back, I was stupid for keeping quiet, that it means nothing, and it’s just my stupidity and not me protecting her. She then said I should pack everything and leave her house with my son.

I can move out and handle my baby’s business alone, it just hurts me that my own mother says I’m a liar for saying her ex raped me and she wants me in an abusive relationship so that I can wear a ring.

I see myself developing hatred toward her for putting me through all this when she is supposed to be my shoulder to cry on. It’s painful but I wanted to solve it within us and not tell the rest of the family our deeds but she just told everyone that I am a bad child. I don’t want them to know how her ex raped me and other things she does like coming home drunk and having boyfriends younger than her. She is my mother after all and I love her. Besides, I won’t want my family to think I’m just a bad child out to ruin her reputation because we have issues.

Tomorrow, there will be a family meeting and I don’t know whether to say my mind or just keep quiet and protect her reputation. Please advise.

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