6 Reasons I Think Wives Should Love Their Husbands More Than Their Kids

Who should wives ideally love more – hubby or the kids?

I grew up watching how lovey-dovey my parents always were. Still, a whole lot of times, I just couldn’t miss how mum always tended to put our needs first at whatever cost to dad – it was a no-brainer. I often wondered if that meant she loved us more and must admit it felt good to think we were more important at the time. Somehow, it just made perfect sense that she would love us more.

Now a dad myself, my thoughts have changed. I find myself reflecting on how my wife so frequently puts the kids over me and it only means one thing – she loves them more and I’m jealous! I can’t seem to help it. And, really, wives need to have a rethink. Find 6 reasons I think this is absolutely necessary…

1. You met him first. Well, think about it. You only made those cuties together after you both chose each other. Why should they come first?

2. Hubby won’t think he’s only a second fiddle. Trust me, I also can’t believe I’m this jealous of my own kids, but over the years, I’ve hated being so frequently shoved aside because of them. I’ve really lost count of how many times I’ve compared our lives before the kids (courtship and early marriage) to after our three lovely kids arrived. It obvious the kids have taken my place as the centre of her universe and I can’t even ask her to try striking a balance without her telling me, ‘Haba, they are your kids too now.’ Yes, I’m their father, but I just need my wife to realize I’m her baby too.

Becoming obsessed with the kids has a way of making the fun and spark in a marriage slowly start declining.

3. He won’t feel lonely. Have you considered you may be making your husband vulnerable to temptations and other vices you don’t like because you spend virtually all your time with the kids?

4. Greater chances your family will remain a unit. As I hinted earlier, like the children you constantly dote on, men want lots of attention too – we’ll feel like we are really the most important thing in your life when your actions truly prove you put us above everything and everyone else, including the kids.

When you seem more or all about the kids, it’s clear that you appreciate and love them more. That way, it’s easier to start drifting apart from your spouse and give room for distractions which may jeopardize your relationship.

5. The kids won’t think mummy cares more. I love my kids, even if I’m not as expressive as their mum but I can’t help thinking the way my wife is always all over them is bound to constantly draw their attention to my shortcomings and send the message that mummy loves them more, and that’s definitely not true.

6. Your husband really can’t wait till the kids are off to college. A lot of women who literally press ‘pause’ on investing in their marriage as soon as the kids arrive and shift all their attention to the kids think after all, the kids will leave home sometime and things would get back to normal. However, by then, you both may have significantly or totally drifted apart and settled into a very boring marriage.

Who agrees or disagrees with me?