Dear MIMsters: Should I Quit This Marriage Or Hope Hubby Turns A New Leaf?
It is barely a year since my husband and I got married. Two months into the union, he went out without telling me where he was going. When he came back, he asked me to bring him his wallet from his pocket, and when I put my hand in his pocket, low and behold, I saw 2 pieces of unused condom!
I did not say anything until midnight when I woke him up to ask him and he got angry and told me that I was disturbing his sleep, that we will talk in the morning. The next morning, he told me that he went for HIV test and was given 2 pieces of condom! I never said anything again about it. I can’t count how many lovers he has. He picks their calls in my presence and tells them he is much in love with them. The last time I confronted him, he said they are his female friends and he can tell them he loves them if he wants!
I decided to check his phone, and saw his chat with his lovers, telling some of them that he is not married. Now, he has been communicating with his ex, telling her that he regrets marrying me and he wants to make her his wife. When I confronted her to stay away from my hubby because if he loved her as he claims, he would have married her instead of me, she called hubby and told him. Hubby called me and threatened to divorce me if I ever confronted her again, so, since then, I stopped.
Since we got married, he has never bought anything for me. He gives me 8-10k every month for my feeding. He was recently transferred to another state and has refused to allow me follow him. I had only diploma, before I agreed to marry him, and he promised me that I would further my education after we got married but he has refused to let me go back to school. I am a full time housewife!
Meanwhile, he has already built a house and doesn’t give his parents money unless they ask him. He has a 13-year-old son with another woman, and I am yet to give him a child. I am scared that things might get worse if we have a child.
I went to the hospital recently and was told I have BP. I am 26 and hubby is 35. I am fed up of this marriage! Should I just quit or do you think he will change?
I never see the man wey go use divorce threaten me sha smh. If I were you, I will quit. I have zero tolerance for bullshit.
1st of all, the foundation of this marriage is faulty. His behavior didn’t start after marriage but you were blinded by love or probably believed he would change after marriage. You’ve now woken up to reality and want to run away. No ma please don’t back up yet. 1. Add value to your life by doing something to earn a living no matter how small. 2. If your parents are still alive(or whoever sponsored you in school), go to them and beg for assistance to further your education. 3. On no account should you confront any lady concerning your husband’s relationship with them. You would only belittle yourself and give them the joy of hurting you. If you must confront anyone, it should be your husband. In conclusion, get busy, make yourself happy, and most of all pray for nothing is too difficult for God.
I sympathize with u my dear. First of all, u said u have a diploma, try to get a job with it. U can if u try. When u start earning, snd urself to sch. The truth is dat he might never change cos he already knows how tolerant u can be. No marriage is perfect but this is d limit. Now u have BP related issues, my sister, u are too young for such distressing situations. Get a hold on urself, take a leap of faith and move on with ur life. Most women die in d hands of men cos they manage even in d worst situations, is it really worth it? Especially now dat there are no strings attached, I.e. no kids. My dear take a walk
I concur with Eka Ekwere Ikono but not in all tinz. Yes d foundation of this marriage has been faulty but u played a blind eye to it .
School is not all things now. You can get a job with your diploma or learn a skill or start a trade.
Yes u should never confront your husband’s girlfriend for any reason. The one you have business with is your husband.
But stay? No way. Even the bible does not condone adultery. With his many escapades? He even have the guts to say he regrets marrying you? Then what are you staying for? My dear move on. Ask for the divorce he threatened you with and move on. No cheating man deserves you. Plus you are still very young to start having high Bp.
Abeg quit.ure still very young. ull get sum1 beta cus u deserve beta.
Hnmmmmm,marriage wahala
Hmmmm… walk away love.
Please dump this fool and go live your life, it’s obvious he’s hell bent on making your life miserable. Go and look for how to upgrade yourself, life’s got no duplicate, you only live once.
Its amused how most of these marriages are less than a year or two then couples especially men begin to ve change of heart…i dont get it.is it that during the courtship you close your eyes or you are so blinded by love that you dont see their true self.. seriously it baffles me a lot.
And per this narrative…it tells me you didnt really know your hubby that well before you married him cus jux than two months into the marriage, you need to sit down n critrical think and assess you marriage well.. or back out Asap…you are too young to ve blood Pressure. Life is too short to be misreable
i agree wt ekwere