Now Reading
Dear MIM Readers: I Regret My Marriage. What Would You Do If You Were In My Shoes

Dear MIM Readers: I Regret My Marriage. What Would You Do If You Were In My Shoes

I got married 2 years ago in my final year in school to a well of educated business man but now I regret it. The man I knew while we were dating isn’t the same man now. He has a bad mouth I noticed is towards me alone.

5 months after our wedding, I took in. Then I started started noticing my husband behaving strange.

In the 1st stage of my pregnancy, I craved for food and drinks, though I controlled it. He bought some cans of drinks, put them in the fridge and I took one. When he came back and saw I’d taken one, he shocked me by saying, “keep eating what you don’t know where the money came from.” I got annoyed and wept, but he never apologised,

A month after, while my husband was sleeping, a text message on hubby’ phone. I never go through his phone but I read this one.  It read, “My Body is so cold and hungry for You, I can’t wait to have you again.” I deleted it but copied out the number. Confronted him the next day calmly. We both agreed to call the number but he secretly called the girl to warn her.

I started noticing that same number calling him too frequently. I called the girl once and advised her to stay clear my marriage. Till date, my husband has never apologised. Instead, he stopped sharing the bedroom with me, whenever there’s a dispute, he won’t drop feeding allowance, even in my pregnancy. I couldn’t endure the starvation and had to tell my mum to send me food stuffs so I could feed.

One day, he came home late. I was horny due to abstainance on his part. I begged him to make love to me, he came too quick onlike him. Then I found 2 used condoms in his shirt pocket. I confronted him that midnight, he looked guilty but didn’t offer an explanation. I cried till 6 a.m but my husband till date doesn’t think he owes me any explanation.

I finally told his elder brother’s wife and my mum who came in to settle the issue. He told my mum that he wanted me to leave his house without giving a reason.

I told him I will leave after delivering my baby. My baby is now over a year. I am 101% sure my hubby never loved me. Recently, we had an arguement, when he told me again that I should keep eating food in stead of looking for a job. Meanwhile, I haven’t even gone for my NYSC. In annoyance I told him, God whom I serve will reverse the case for me. I told him I will feed him since feeding and caring for my needs are his worst nightmare. Not that I forced him to marry me and he’s treating me badly. So, I managed to do a networking biz with the money I saved from the money he gives me for clothes. Yet, he keeps loaning money from me every now until I stopped giving him.

See Also

Even when his own father visited, I used my own money to prepare feed him. I got so annoyed and gave my husband a piece of my heart and asked for a divorce as I am fed up.

He only gives me 30k once in 5 months for clothings, toiletries and hair. He doesn’t take me out for functions except for family meetings.

He never compliments my new looks.  I am tired spending all day at the saloon trying to look good for a man who will never acknowledge it. Honestly, I dont feel like his wife. I feel like my years are wasted in his house. I’ve searched to see if I am actually doing something wrong. I read and comment on posts here and I must say some women are lucky in life. There’s no communication in my marriage because he chooses to keep mute over issues and never talk about them.  Honestly, I regret this marriage. What would you do if you were in my shoes?

View Comments (31)
  • Hummm… I am short of word my dear. Hes not physically violent but emotional violent to you. Leave/give him space if you cant endure it anymore.

  • Very touching!I feel he is carried away by what he is seeing outside nd from what u have said,It will take d grace of God make everything right.but still try praying,he is d God of impposibilities.

  • My dear this is a serious matter ooooo. All I will advice is for you to be patient. Patience is a vitue which is most needed in marriage. Be yourself and try be happy. Don’t over do things and stop paying attention to his attitude. Be close to your child and let the sight of that child give you comfort. As long as he isn’t abusing you physically and he even remember to give cash for up keep just hold on a bit all will be well.

  • Am sorry madam for all u hv been thru in ur marriage.
    If I am to say,I wil suggest u separate from him so that u can give him space to c if he will change.
    But I advise you to pray,pray,pray cos I think d devil is at work to frustrate you.

    It is well with you in Jesus Name.

  • Please, pack your things and go to.your mums house and let’s see what happens. Maybe he married you because he know he can do whatever and get away with it but surprise him and shock him by leaving. When leaving, leave when he’s not around and with your child and let’s see what happens after that. Men do not appreciate what they have until they lose it and that’s when they see that the woman outside is a devil. I am pretty such he pretended to love you by treating you well. I personally said my daughter will never marry if she’s not.done with school and.workong cuz men like your husband will take advantage of them, behaving anyhow because they know the woman is financially dependant on them. Also, they to not ask him for kobo and find a way to make yourself happy. Do the things that you love and start making good friends. I am so happy your mum is still alive. Good luck and God will see you through

  • If u are absolutely sure that u can cope on your own then go ahead with d divorce

  • The handwriting has been on the wall all the while dear. If u want peace of mind and sanity for urself just save urself the heartache and walk away. Just separate frm him for sometime and see if he will come back if not divorce is the next step. It is well with u

  • Dear poster,i don’t know y,but I get d strong feeling that your hubby wealth no matter how much is ill gotten,like his hands are soiled….situations like this makes d men involved behave “off track”.
    I suggest u move out since he told u earlier to leave. Commit him into God’s hands and pray that a trial of faith will lead him to the throne of grace.
    As for u,i suggest u sacrifice leaving ur child with ur mum briefly and go for ur youth service .u can redeploy back cos of ur child..
    Dnt waste anytime pls,get ur nysc done so u r packaged for a job.
    God grant u strength in this trying time

  • Well 4 me l think separation(not divorce)would do d trick.Get a job or learn a skill so wont beg him or anyone 4 assistance.When he eventually comes 2 his senses and asks u back,u draw up conditions 4 him 2 sign n must be witnessed.Trust me there is nothing dats gives u respect as being financially independent.Finally,reporr him 2 God in prayer

  • No one deserves to be treated this way madam go home briefly do a trial separation. ..this guy is mentally and emotionally abusive which is just as bad as physical abuse

  • Hmmm! Na waoh. Wen I read sum stories here I find it hard to believe. Dear poster,I’m really very sorry for all uve bn thru.As hard as it may seem,I’ll advice u leave dat house.Look for a job to enable u take of u n ur child.If he is truly ur husband,he’ll repent m come for u guys

  • You have to get out of there. If you’re having a hard time seeing that for yourself, think about this.

    IF you stay and raise your baby there, your child at BEST will be growing up in a house where mental abuse is the norm. He/she won’t know what it means to live in a loving family where the members respect and care about each other. That means, if you stay in this situation, you doom your child to a lifetime of probably being disfunctional in all relationships, and they probably won’t ever really be happy, may even turn into abusers themselves. On the other hand, the child may grow up thinking it’s okay to be abused–because that’s the example Mom set–do you want to see your little one hurt the way you’re being hurt? That’s more than likely going to be the result if nothing changes.

    Worse, your husband could be abusive to your child, and physically hurt them. You’ll feel awful, if your child is physically harmed, and you realize that you could have prevented it by leaving when you had the chance.

    I’m so sorry to be so blunt about the situation, but what you describe is totally unacceptable–for you and for a child. You MUST find a way to make things better for that little one who doesn’t deserve to live like that. Please, contact your pastor, or a helpful family member, find a way out. Get some training, if necessary, so you can be independent and support your child. Go to counselling to help you better understand how this happened, how you can prevent being abused in future. Please–get the help you need now. And most of all? Find a way to be happy and pray!Good luck to you.

  • Message..seperate frm him for nw n concentrate on ur wrk n child. Gudluck

  • My dear poster, 2 be frank wit u, dat marriage is hell nd is not worth u crying nd be sad 4. Move on wit ur life nd allow him be. God will bless nd see ur thru

  • Pls leave him now and concentrate on a better life and future for your kid. Else you will be pregnant again and it’ll b3 more difficult to leave then

  • Before seperation, start holding his hands every morning and night. Pray with him and mention all the concerns you have to God about your marriage, then at times..make him to lead the prayers. Goodluck dear. Married men who don’t communicate are about the most foolish I know..very annoying and goatish. Mtcheew

  • My sis….first,did u believe in the power of prayers? Secondly, have you dated a married man while you were a spinsters? Hmmm….I’m a married woman and I’m talking from experience. If the question i asked was yes,Take everything to God,plead for his mercy&forgiveness,settle it on your kneels and don’t ever stop praying for him because whatever happens to him will definitely affect you. Don’t leave your husband ooo,dont bring curse on your child,I have been thru worst cases than yours and Alhamdulilah today am here enjoying and still facing challenges. No marriage is perfect. Nothing is impossible with God.I believe you will reap the fruit of your endurance and patience. Just hang on….don’t leave your husband ooooo. Get yourself busy doing something. Single mothers life is HELL…..HANG ON WITH GOD

  • Some men are wicked o.My dear just give him space for sometime,I think he will come back to his senses but if he doesn’t..good riddance.But don’t stop praying.It is well

  • Don’t depend on this man because he does not value you since you have been asking him for things, Just Start something things and be focus in whatever you are doing. Most important be prayerful because God will change his mind one day with your fervent prayers. Don’t even think of running out of your home, God gave you that home and please handle is with care and don’t mind his attitude. The only thing you owe him is respect, Trust God he will come back begging on his knees.

  • Why do men keep doing this…..WHY???…… Dear poster check your stubbornness and disrespect toward your husband….Jesus plz make a way for this marriage

  • Depending on a man is the worst thing ever, no matter how generous he is, at a point he’s going to start disrespecting you. So women should try and be independent, no matter how small you earn, at least be going out of the house daily, dress well and keep being happy. Don’t live your life for anyone cos you got just one life.

  • My dear ;;Just get the HELL out of that thing called marriage of yours ;;;;;;;;;

  • my dear look good for yourself not him ignore him and make him jealous with your independence.

  • I advise u get a life off him, first try to process your going to service I.e go back to school & settle whatever issue that is hindering u from going for service, get ur certificate, get a job or business take good care of urself & ur baby don’t allow ur happiness dependent on him behave as if u are not affected by his behavior.

  • Take this matter to God in prayer. I perceived a devilish seed has been sold into him by another lady to take over from you. Don’t fight this battle with physical strength, else you loose. Take him to God in prayer at all time and I see God fighting for you. Don’t give up, device is never the solution. Stay and fight the battle of faith. May the Lord be with you.

  • I have been in almost similar situation like this in my marriage. I can say we are just starting to get better in my home. Before I leave try this. First work towards developing urself in all aspects. Go for service as fast as you can. If u can, empower urself as u serve. Do all you can to grow materially and spiritually. Act and take decisions for urself and ur child first. It’s not easy but behave as if he deosnt exist. Even if u would leave, leave better than u met him not broken. It was until he husband realise that I didn’t send him any more that a retraced his steps. I went on a weight loss journey after my baby. I made sure I look good for my self and I took my kids out myself without him which I would be begging him to take us out before.

Copyright © 2021 Motherhood In-Style Magazine. All Rights Reserved.