Dear MIMsters: How Do I Stop A Mum Like Mine From Coming For Omugwo?

I went through hell in the hands of my mom the two times she came for omugwo after each of the birth of my two kids. My mother is a very difficult person who is good at cursing.

Since my childhood she has been not so nice to me. I felt she hated me for reason best known to her. Meanwhile, she and her mother don’t see eye to eye. My grandmother doesn’t like her like she does her other two daughters and shows it to her face.

I dread the thought of her coming for my Omugwo again when I give birth the third time. When she comes, she hardly helps out with anything. I still have to serve her and mostly bathe my baby. She enjoys being served and can hardly take care of my kids. The first time she came, she took sides with my hubby whenever I has issues with him, shouting and cursing at me at the top of her voice. She hardly touched my baby even when they cried hysterically.

I could hardly do a thing cause my first child constantly wanted attention and hardly slept. It was terrible until she left. Due to my experience on her first Omugwo visit, hubby refused to let her come for the second baby but I dreaded her because she is good at cursing and had done so to my sister who refused to let her come for her own Omugwo. She kept cursing her until my sister and her hubby went to appease her with Omugwo things. Since I didn’t want to be cursed, I invited her on the second birth but it didn’t end well. Just like the first, she picked on me. When she became unbearable, I asked her when she was going and she flared up, saying I was pushing her to go. Hell broke loose, it was constant trouble for me, even refusing to eat.

I went through a lot with her coupled with the stress of caring for a new born. It was a lot to handle. At a point, she secured her wrapper with a scarf on her waist and said was ready to fight me. My hubby got mad and pushed her off so she couldn’t reach me. My mother got angrier and held my hubby by his trousers and didn’t release him until 1 am that night. It was hell.

She and my dad are both in their 60s. I pity the women who will end up marrying my brothers. How do I ensure that she doesn’t return for my Omugwo despite all her threats and curses.