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Dear MIMsters: My husband does not cheat nor beat me. I’m lucky right? But wait till I tell you my story.

Dear MIMsters: My husband does not cheat nor beat me. I’m lucky right? But wait till I tell you my story.

I am passing out slowly, so in need of a heartfelt counsel. My husband does not cheat nor beat me and he takes care of our two children. I guess you all will say I’m lucky right? But wait till I tell you my story. We courted for six years before getting married. I didn’t want to marry him, mainly because he was shorter than me. I am almost 6 feet tall. But with heartfelt persuasion or so I thought, I settled for him and also because he was the only truthful guy in my life then. But I was wrong.

He is not caring as he has never bought me at least a scarf in our 5 years of marriage. He forbids me from buying clothes for myself even from my own salary. I usually dodge to buy the little I have. He is equally not protective. Even a common happy birthday is not common for him to wish me on any of my birthdays. And should I even be expecting gift from someone who won’t wish me a happy birthday?

He does not defend me. Whenever we go and someone insults me, his wife, he stays indifferent. He is not romantic at all. In a whole year, he might not want to have sex with me. In fact, he fights me with abusive words frequently and nags per excellenc.

He told me to my face that his family members are his priorities. Hmmmmm! Members of his family who do not notify me before they come to visit and when they do, he orders me in their presence to go and cook for them. This is seriously killing me, as his mother now capitalise on this to even persecute my family members to the extent that nobody comes to visit me again.

Whenever I call him to have a heart-to-heart discussion with him on this, he jettisons me before I end my speech.

Note: we are both working and in fact, his salary difference to mine is around 5k. I know he is doing all these because am an orphan. I’m in tears now.

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Do you know why I feel so bad? He was the first man to have sex with me at 27,  after our wedding and that was because I vowed to keep myself holy for my man. Oh I really want to enjoy this marriage. He knows I am 100%  a faithful wife.

Now, the ridicule is just too much for me to bear. But when people hear that my case is one that involves domestic violence, they tell me to continue to bear it, forgetting that this is also domestic abuse. My spirit can no longer bear it. What do you think I should do?

Thank you for sharing your precious time to read till the end.

View Comments (3)
  • I can’t stay in an unhappy environment whether relationship or marriage. Please do whatever will make you happy even if it means leaving the marriage.

  • for mimster whose husband prefers his family to her, I advise she create good rapport between herself and her husband’s priority ( his family).
    Also , be prayerful because ‘ the effectual ,fervent prayer of the righteous availeth much ‘.
    Meanwhile, since you realised your hubby will not defend you, ensure you abstain from trouble and never expect him to change soon.
    please, take this candid advice as I ‘ m in your shoe and the recipe above had helped me.
    Mind you, divorce will not heal the ‘ wound’ . Rather, it will complicate things.
    May God help you

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