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Dear MIMster: Help! My 13-year-old daughter is being groomed by the most unexpected person

Dear MIMster: Help! My 13-year-old daughter is being groomed by the most unexpected person

Recently, my 13-year-old daughter has been isolating herself from me. I noticed she is always engaged with her phone in her room and anytime I ask her what she is doing with it, she either tells me she is chatting with her dad who is not in the country or using goggle to do her assignment, or chatting with her class teacher, Miss rose. Little did I know that my daughter was being groomed.

Last week, I took a day off to rest at home with my only child, my daughter and to my greatest surprise, my daughter didn’t come out of her room to play or hangout with me. I thought she was busy with assignment as usual, so I decided to go check up on my daughter in her room only for me to find her watching a lesbian porn and masturbating.

I shouted at her and slapped her. My God, my daughter is just 13 and she is in SS2. I collected the phone from her and beat her up. Later that night, I asked her where she learnt that rubbish from. Even me, her mother who has not seen my husband for 3 years have never done such. My baby refused to talk to me so I told her I was going to tell her father about it and then my daughter confessed to me that it was her class teacher, Miss Rose who sent it to her and that the woman introduced her to lesbianism.

I was shocked I almost passed out. This is a woman who is a choir mistress in my church and her mum is our women leader, a woman who always begs me to allow my daughter come spend the holidays in her house. She also usually comes to my house to spend holiday with my child when I’m not around. I am so confused now that I don’t even know what to do to my daughter who has been crying and saying she loves Miss Rose and that they would get married when she is 18. I told my younger sister and she said I should report this to the school management and to the church.

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My heart is broken and my daughter has refused to eat. I have broken the phone and have stopped her from going to school. Her class teacher has been calling me but I’ve not been picking up.

I had lot of complications after giving birth to her so I’ve not been able to have another child. I don’t want her to be useless. I am not happy and my husband is coming back next week. I don’t know what he would do if he finds out about this as he might blame me for it and think I didn’t train her well. I am so scared and  my blood pressure is so very high now. I need your help on how to handle this.

View Comments (8)
  • First of all training a child is the work of both parents so stop saying he will blame you for not training her well. As for miss Rose, you need to take her calls or go meet her and let her know you know what’s happening, and you would report to the authorities if she doesn’t leave your daughter alone. She has so messed with your daughter’s psych and it’s sad. Tell her to stay clear of your daughter, if she doesn’t want to be embarrassed.

  • Ow, hmmm teachers of now a days can not be trusted any longer. I will suggest that u invite your church leader together with the teacher to meet you and your daughter. At their presence, report the incident to your church leader. The teacher Will be compelled to apologise in her embarrassment, and your daughter will learn a lesson from there.

    Make time to talk to her alone after the meeting in love. Let her know that this will be your( you &her) biggest secret that her father will not even hear about it. If there’s really a need to get her a phone, get her a no-internet one with a new number. Pray for her and let her know that it is an abomination before God that’s why her teacher apologized. Fast and pray with her continuously on this issue. And I’m sure God will secure your daughter back to you.

  • You should take her to see a phycologist because she must be feeling emotionally stressed right now and try to take things easy with her, beating will not solve her problems or make it go away,what she needs is her mom,a lot of counselling and prayers so she can quickly snap out of it and live a normal life,let her know she has her whole life ahead of her and she should not let it be ruined by the enjoyment of a little time.It is against the ordinances of God and can destroy her future, this is also a time to move closer to her and make her feel that u love her more than Miss Rose because u are her mother,talk to her and make her realize that Jesus loves her but doesn’t like what she’s doing.Stay with her every step of the way and do not make her feel like a freak or a stranger in her own body,get to know her friends and who she moves or talks with break her away from every bad influence and please make sure u tell her how much u love her everyday so she will learn to trust u so much that whatever what anyone says won’t matter because she knows her mom knows what is best for her and everything she tells her is the truth and what is right.

  • I will suggest you have a motherly word with her by waking her in the midnight and let her see reasons why she needs to be more closer to God in her doing because Gods hate an homosexual act…let her know more of the things of God in prayer and words…

  • I will rather you let her dad know,training a child isn’t a one patner thing,report to the school authority as she may be maring the lives of so many girls,promising them marraige.don’t be scared,if she had loved her job and dignity she wouldn’t stoop so low.let your daughter be with you at the school premises so she see things for herself.deny her phone for now and uf you must get let it be a non browsing one.that teacher has no place near kids,please be the whistle blower to save more girls from her clutches.

  • she would get over it.take her for prayers,counselling, tlk with her too,report the case to both the school n the church

  • The earliest exposures to sex happen mostly through close friends, colleagues, family etc. Many times from those not expected or suspected. When this happens, the reaction all round can be as damaging if not more damaging than the child’s experience itself.

    You can take it that any 13 year old who has had an internet connected phone knows much more about sex than you did at her age and graphically too.

    Calmly, explain what is bad about what has happened to your child. Let the teacher and school know what has happened but enjoin them to handle it with maturity and not hysteria. The teacher must be dismissed.

    The long term mental health of the child is paramount.

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