Dear MIMsters: After All Her Threats and Curses, Should I Stay Married to Her?
I need help because I am losing it. We’ve been traditionally married and we are yet to have our white wedding. The whole issue started when my 6 months-old wife shouted at my entire family because they corrected her. She curses like there is no tomorrow.
They where cooking in the family house in preparation for a ceremony when at some point my wife left them to go and rest. She is the youngest amongst all the women person there. My mum told me that my wife was told to boil cocoyam but she simply ignored them and went into the bedroom to play with her phone.
To be frank, I’ve always known my wife to be lazy even before I married her. After the ceremony, during the morning devotion, my elder brother raised concerns about my wife’s behaviour. He questioned why my wife left the elderly women in the kitchen to cook while she went to lie down on the bed to play with her phone. My wife said she was assisted them to wash all the plates until she got tired and went to rest. I wasn’t there when this wahala started because I was running some other errands.
This discussion was held in the presence of my parents, aunties, uncles and older married siblings and their kids. Fortunately for me, someone entered our house and disrupted the discussion. I quickly used the chance to plead with my wife, “just say you are sorry and that it won’t happen again, please do not add or subtract.” Did my wife listen?
She started shouting at everybody. They were all shocked. I tried to stop her but she didn’t even listen to me. My entire family decided that she won’t be allowed into the family anymore. They told me that if I want to proceed with the white wedding that I should go alone.
She has been cursing me that I didn’t protect her from my family and accuses me of exposing her. I told her that her stubbornness exposed her, it wasn’t me. If she had listened to me, the matter would have died a natural death. She then showed her five fingers to my face (WAKA).
I warned her that I can take anything from her but I will not put up with WAKA on my face but she continued. I grabbed that hand and held it painfully until she started crying. She called my best friend, when he arrived, before his presence she heaped abuses upon me and my family and started threatening fire and brimstone. She threatened to kill me, my sister and my elder brother. She said my own case is easy (akamu).
Do you think I should stay married to this woman after all her threats and curses?
A woman who is tired should be allowed to rest. From your post, I can deduce you guys are Yorubas who have this crazy culture of a junior wife respecting and doing whatever she’s told without complaints. She said she was tired. Did it kill any of the other women after they finished the chores? Yorubas just like to turn women married to their men to slaves. I am not excusing what she did by insulting your family to their face because I would have handled the situation differently and still let them know I am not the type to come and be forced to do things just because I am a wife married into the family. Your wife is just making empty threats, however if you feel you can’t stay married to her, then let her go.
You aren’t making excuses yet you failed to note that being ill mannered is a bane itself. From this story, the lady is ill mannered and lacks finesse. Even if she was tired there are ways you sweet your way out of such situations.
Kindly press ”PAUSE” to whatever plans you have for now, this lady has anger issues and need to take care of it before she can stay under any man as a married woman.
it fr bettr fr worse my brother i dont support her cursing but she sd have bn allowed to rest…n u sd have coverd up fr her too…
I agree with mum G,but I also think the lady has anger issues.pls remember how u guys started, analyse it well and know if u will move on or off,whatever u do put it in pray.
Brother, you better look before you leap. She actually needs some one to talk some senses into her. I can endure women nagging and but I personally hates women Insulting my family members or cursing them. You just told us that you were aware that she was a lazy lady even before traditional wedding but you didn’t tell us whether she used to curse people too. My advice for you is to ensure she actually have your family consent and approval before white wedding or else, she will beat a drum where only you will be dancing to it for the rest of life. Either from mouth or from heart, curse is not a good thing from a responsible person
she was tired buh someone as old as ur mum wasn’t??? dah excuse is lame and uncalled 4!!!!! don’t use ur hand to bring prblm 4 urself, if she can’t apologize plz don’t continue ooooo!!!! tired my foot, some people think itz only ladies dah go through tough times in relationship/ marriage, guys also go through those shits buh dey don’t always say it out cuz d society expect them to be man enough to bottle it in……. I pray 4 wisdom so u can handle dz
My dear, if since after this incident she hasn’t found reasons to apologise to you and your family, then she is not a deserving wife. Any anger in her she failed to discuss with you is meant to expose who she really is, and mind you that most girls these days believe in absolute equality with their men that is why they are often times ready to fight their men. Remember “a stitch in time saves nine “
Even if she was tired,a simple “am sorry” would have made the issue died a natural death. I wouldn’t say marry or don’t marry,after all u have married her already with or without a white wedding having paid her bride price,I will only advice u use ur sense.