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Dear MIMsters: I Don’t Love Him But He is a Very Good Man I Met on Facebook

Dear MIMsters: I Don’t Love Him But He is a Very Good Man I Met on Facebook

I’m 26 years old and I met my boyfriend about 3 years ago on Facebook. He lives in the states.

My ex who I started dating just when I completed JHS and was a 100 Level student at a University was good to me even though was a womanizer. I could handle his womanzing but he became very stingy when he got a job after school. By then, I was then in tertiary school.

When I met my current boyfriend, I never said anything about my ex to him. He was extremely good to me, he has my needs and my family’s needs at heart and loves me so much. I’m from an average family.

While we were still blind dating, I went through his pictures severally, made him send me more privately and had video calls with him and he was ok. But when I met him physically for the first time, I knew I didn’t love him but I couldn’t tell him because he loved me so much, spent a lot on me already and has suffered a lot from his past relationships.

Honestly, I wanted to tell him I didn’t love him or just ignore him when he goes back to the states but didn’t have the courage to do so. This guy has really helped me and my family, so much. Now the problem is he’s pressuring me to get married to him and I don’t know what to do. I’ve told my mother I don’t love him but she says he’s a good man and the love will come when we start living together and I should also look at my family to count the number of people married. She feared I may stay unmarried like them, if I reject him.

On the other hand, I also do not even have decide any reason to leave him apart from the fact that I don’t love him and also the courage to do so. My friends have told this man many dirty stuffs about me (some were true) but he ignored all of them, saying everyone deserves a second chance in life. Please what should I do? Please advice me.

View Comments (8)
  • Love matters a lot in marriage but if this man loves you the way you are saying it, maybe you should give him a chance. It all depends on you cos you’re the one involved here.

  • What is lacking is physical attraction or infatuation. With my experience in marriage I’ve discovered that what we women term love is actually infatuation and it easily fades away when the reality of life sets in. This man loves you, check 1 Corinthians 13, he has all the qualities that are stated by God to be true love. You will gradually love him. Don’t make the mistake of losing him.
    I don’t know why women can’t appreciate a good man.

  • Think twice bfor u leave him except dias something else u did reveal about this guy. Its better he love u more u love him.We women prefer a man dat will give us emotional stress dan d good ones.Pray n God will lead u

  • tel God to help u love him…its better he is crazy abt u Dan u d one crazy abt him…tell urself. tough want to love him

  • It’s better for a man to love you more in a relationship than for you to love him more trust me. He will make it his life mission to see you happy. Please marry him.

  • Just set ur mind towards learning how to love him and pls don’t say no to him, with time u will love him back, good man are hard to find this days oooo. U better not let go .

  • I really wish you will heed my advise. Marriage is different from boyfriend. What you need is a man that loves you more than that one you think you love. Oftentimes, that man you think you love brings so much heartache. Don’t make the mistake of loosing that man.

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