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Dear MIMsters: I Think A Man Like My Husband Deserves a Separation

Dear MIMsters: I Think A Man Like My Husband Deserves a Separation

Should I separate from my husband? I think my husband deserved a separation and here’s why.
I met my husband through my elder brother and we have been married for four years now with two kids. We dated for three years before marriage. During that time, I offered a male friend (who felt unsafe during his journey), a night accommodation and slept in my neighbor’s room. But when my husband, then fiancĂ©e found out he got so upset. 
I promised it won’t happen again. I used to have male friends but during courtship my husband insisted I cut ties with them, which I did.
After we got married, I met an old time lady friend of mine, she got to meet my husband and then my troubles began. She is married as well. During her pregnancy she would text my husband to buy her all sorts of things and likewise invite him over for drinks on my blind side.
She was unemployed then. Later my husband request I help her get a job, which I pleaded with my boss and she was hired. Almost a year ago, I saw her chats with my husband and honestly I was disappointed at their conversations.
I reported my husband to his mum and she said they were only playing with each other. This same lady has caused me so much trouble at work already. I forgave my husband and continued to live peacefully with him.
A month ago, I casually picked my hubby’s phone which was highly guarded with passwords and surprisingly, I was able to unlock them all only to see he’s been chatting with her. But had saved her name differently. Her profile gave her out.
This time around, the chats was at a different level. They both ridiculed me as he tells her virtually everything I’m doing at home and my whereabouts.
I also found out he’s been chatting with my elder brother’s wife, calling her a good wife and wishes to be with her and asking her to ignore my brother.
This is a husband who has told me he would marry another woman when I die, a man I’ve starved and denied myself of luxury for. A man who never complements me even for cooking his food or washing his clothes.
I’m so hurt by his actions and have decided to leave because our marriage lacks companionship, communication, commitment and love. I’m I right to separate from him?
View Comments (6)
  • Yes you are right. I mean I can’t be with a man that’s asking my elder brother’s wife out and also ridicules me in front of my friend and keeps chatting with her.

  • You are not right to leave. Who said marriage is a bed of roses. You have to pray to God who invented marriage and who created your husband to intervene. Face your problems with courage ,praying steadfastly and hoping for improvement.

  • You are a very patient woman, please don’t give up yet. If possible, make him jealous. When ever he’s home, sit with him but be engaged with your phone,chat and laugh out loud. The time he show his jealousy is the time to talk.

  • You’re right. If you continue staying with him he will continue taking you for granted and getting worse. The break should be used to reconcile if he’s ready to change. You lay down the conditions for coming back. 1. No more passwording of phones
    2. Open communication
    3. Appreciation and complementing you as at when due
    4. No more chatting with strange women
    5. No more cheating
    6. No third party should ever be involved in your marriage

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