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Dear MIMster: Would it be Fair to End this One-sided Relationship with my In-laws

Dear MIMster: Would it be Fair to End this One-sided Relationship with my In-laws

Am I being fair here ending this one-sided relationship? Pls help me out.

When I met my husband, I saw that he was the bread winner of his family. He’s been one since the death of his dad. My husband is a professional teacher.

His mum was teaching in a private school but is now retired. His siblings were still in school when I met him 6 years ago.

I saw the need to help so I gave his mum a capital to start small business. She was happy with it, and started selling rice, 5kg of different brands, oil, tin tomatoes, mackerels and some other goods.

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But 2 weeks after I visited her, I saw all the money had vanished. I didn’t talk and I decided to give her some money when I visit her every month.

I’m a teacher too, but I try to do business when I’m on vacation. Anytime I tell her I’m selling this or that like diapers, she would say, “eiiih, you are a teacher and you are selling these things, don’t you feel shy?”

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All that my MIL knows is to collect. My sister in-law too is like that, she only wants to receive but will never give. When I gave birth they both came with empty handed, yet I waste money to buy her items when she gives birth. They always want me to call them but all never call me to find out how I’m faring with my child.

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Now, I am so done and want to stop all these things that I am doing for them since the relationship is one sided. What do you think?

View Comments (5)
  • Stop giving them money, you can still maintain a good relationship with them without spending on them, if not they will turn you to their cash machine.

  • the decision to make is yours at the end of the day but are you nice to them because you want the thanks and acknowledgement from them or becase you genuinely want to help.Am not saying you should enable them obviously they are much too old to be taken care of but find your reason for being nice and you will have a much better peace and attitude towards giving to them.
    You might even notice you no longer feel pressured to give to them just becaue you want to please them rather you will give because you want to and their attitude towards your help will no longer affect you or matter to you.

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