A positive sense of self is one of the greatest gifts you can give your child. In Part One of this topic, we discussed ways to help your child increase their self confidence. Children with high self-esteem feel loved and competent and develop into happy, productive people. To help build your child’s positive self-image as he grows, consider these keys:
8. Give them responsibilites
It’s good for kids to have their own household responsibilities, like
Washing dishes. Cleaning. Taking out the trash.
It gives them a sense of responsibility.
9. Find Opportunities for them to Spend More Time with Adults
Kids like to hang out with their friends, but it’s also important for them to be around a variety of grown-ups. Spending time with older people expands your child’s world, Research has also shown that having a close relationship with a particular grown-up — a teacher, an uncle, a babysitter, or a friend’s parent makes children more resilient.
Grandparents comes to mind in this particular point
10. Let them share their dreams with you
If kids can envision themselves doing something important or fulfilling when they grow up, they’re bound to feel more confident now. Talk to your child about how you, your spouse, and other adults he knows chose careers. Your child may dream of being a pop singer or an astronaut, but don’t try to lower his expectations. Even if he changes his mind, the important thing is that he’s thinking about his goals.
11. Teach them perfection is not a role
When you teach your kids that perfection must not be attainable, they grow with that mentality.
Teach them to strive for perfection but know nothing can be perfect.
12. Encourage and teach self encouragement
All humans need encouragement. Encouraging your child not only keeps him feeling more positive and motivated, it also gives him an inner voice that will help him to encourage himself for the rest of his life. Give your child maxims to repeat as mantras when the going gets tough. “Practice makes progress!” and “If you don’t succeed, try, try again!” and “I think I can, I think I can!” are designed to help us manage our frustration. When your son goofs a piece on the piano and has to start over, or your daughter strikes out with the bases loaded, they need an automatic internal comforting voice to encourage and motivate them. Otherwise the harsh criticizing voice steps in, triggered by the disappointment.
13. Focus on effort not result
Whatever effort they put in even the thing, appreciate their effort.
Don’t put too much focus on what it produces.. When a child learns to put more effort in things he does, he is positive in good results.
14. Be a positive model
Whatever you model, your child will learn and will emulate. Positive self-talk has been shown to improve our ability to master difficult tasks, unlike the self-disparaging comments many of us so automatically make. If something negative about your child — or, equally important, about yourself — starts to come out of your mouth, bite your tongue. Most parents know better than to say “What an idiot!” to their child (and most of them are able to stop themselves), but a surprising number see nothing wrong with berating themselves that way in front of their kids. Just train yourself not to do it
15. Make them realise they can change the world
Competence and feelings of mastery are about power and derive from a child’s experience of themselves as having an effect on the world.
I always tell my son he can be like spider man and super man – he can also save the world.