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Dear MIMsters: Am I Making The Right Choice To Leave My Husband?

Dear MIMsters: Am I Making The Right Choice To Leave My Husband?

Hello MIMsters, please I need sincere and candid advice on my marriage. I have made up my mind but I want to know if I am doing the right thing. Am I making the right choice to leave my husband?

It all started when I gave birth to our first child. I am the kind of person who likes to express herself in the best way possible. My husband doesn’t share his thoughts, or believe in sorting out problems with his wife. He’d prefer to go outside and seek comfort in the hands of girlfriends.

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I have been tolerating this for the past three years, but what happened earlier this year was totally unbearable. There’s this lady he met on Facebook and both of them have been dating for one year and six months. According to the lady, he visited her on the 27th to 30th of December 2016.
I remembered that he told me they were going for an official meeting in Abuja. At that time, it never occurred to me that he was going to see her because they had already spent time together in August.

I found out about the whole thing in March, and at that time I was two months pregnant. As if that was not enough, the lady wasn’t the only girl friend he had, there were three others. I kept wondering what could be so important that my husband would be glued to his phone for hours until he fell asleep.

If I start a conversation with him, he would always answer me absent mindedly. It wasn’t until I got a hold of his phone one day while he was washing outside, that I discovered what was unbelievable. I chatted with these two new ladies on Whatsapp, and they both (individually) confirmed that they were dating my husband. The also confirmed that he comes to their place every Saturday and Sunday because they both reside in the same town as we do.

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After my discovery, I asked him where I went wrong or what I did to him that warranted him to treat me like that, he merely said that it was not my fault at all. Now, my fear is that I don’t want to contract a terminal disease from him, and as such I have stopped having sex with him.

I’ve decided to leave him after the naming and dedication ceremony of my baby because my family is aware of his actions and how he mistreated me when I was pregnant. Would I be making the right decision to leave him?

View Comments (4)
  • Am sorry sis for what you are going through. Divorce is not always the way out. Commit your husband behaviour to God. Cry out to Him. I believe that he will find his way back into your arms. All the best sis

  • Dear sis, its unfortunate you find yourself in this situation but you need to ask yourself some honest questions before taking a decision on your marriage. First of all, ask yourself , how does this man treat me outside the issue of women because believe it or not, every marriage has its own issues ranging from anger, impotence, childlessness, nagging, lies and so on. Secondly, if the man changes today, will you still want to be called his wife. From your stories, you are the one chatting with the women to know the status of their relationships with your husband, truth be told, there is no reason for that because the result will keep hurting and hunting you. Lastly, if you are not engaged in any activities, I bet it is time to start something productive that will take away your mind from such. Lastly, look good for your husband, have an effective communication to draw him out of his shell, contribute intelligently when he brings up issues even if it has to do with his job. Above all, commit everything to God because there is no guarantee that the next man you meet when you leave your husband will be any better.

  • my sister, first and foremost, your life and welfare of your children is more important than anything else in this world. Ask yourself the following questions
    1/ if you contact STDs, *God forbid, who will take care of your baby,
    2 did your husband fall into temtation once, or he is an habitual unrepentant womaniser
    3, Are you happy in this marriage. knowing fully well that your husband will continue to cheat
    i’m not saying you should not pray for him o however, i think you should first of all seperate yourself from him, sort out your life and decide what the next step. whether you want to forgive him and continue to manage him in that marriage or you want to move on with your life
    some things can be managed in a marriage but violence and constant unfaithfulness is a NO NO.
    please if you choose to seperate from him for a period of time, ypu should spend time praying for him to change.
    This is my simple opinion o

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