As parents, it’s normal to set certain standards to guide your children’s performance and putting structures in place to help them meet up is necessary. However, in the process, some parents start pushing too hard. Though children are quite resilient, like adults, they become overwhelmed when they have too much on their plate.
Find common cues you’re putting too much pressure on your child…
1. Your usually sweet child is often moody or fatigued. If your usually radiant child becomes unusually moody, shows frustration or anger over little things and appears tired, he is probably overwhelmed. Have a subtle talk with him to get to the root of the matter.
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2. Loses interests in his fond activities. If a child who would usually give anything to play football in the evenings suddenly shows no zeal for it, it may be a sign that he is currently overscheduled and needs some free time to rest. Cutting back on some of his daily activities will offer some relief and reignite his interest.
3. You are forcing your child to participate in activities he has no interest in. For some parents, the fact that a few of their children’s peers are pros at a particular extracurricular at school makes them want the same for their child.
If your child has no interest whatsoever in an activity, training for it and participating in it will feel like a burden, and he may start showing it through emotional meltdowns. Why not let him shine in other activities he loves?
4. You hug or praise your child only when he scores an A or wins a medal. Some parents register their child for virtually all subjects and extracurricular at school and nag endlessly about their child’s inability to have As in all these subjects or win a medal from any of the competitions they have participated in, even if their skills are improving remarkably.
Your child may start thinking earning your love and acceptance is tied to his performance. You should praise his baby steps every chance you get as long as he is consistently working very hard. And with time, that outcome you yearn for will come.
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5. Your child has series of extra lessons after school hours. Some children hardly have any breathing space as it’s usually one lesson after the other after school hours till as late as 5 or 6 pm on a daily basis. Those extra lesson may amount to little or no good as the child is too stressed to assimilate anything. Moderation is key to achieving any significant result in this regard.
6. Dropping grades. Lower grades may mean your child has too many activities competing with his ability to study and focus as usual at school. Try to strike the needed balance.