Dear MIMsters: Would It Be Wrong to Mind My Damn Business in This Marriage?
I am very depressed at the moment. I need mature advice. Would it be wrong to mind my damn business in this marriage?
When I met my hubby, he told me he only had OND in electrical electronics. When we were courting, I told him what he has is not enough, that there are so many graduates without jobs and would love to see him get an HND.
READ ALSO: Dear MIMsters: Am I Being Too Sensitive or Is My Reason For Quitting This Relationship Justified?
Meanwhile, he was living with his sister whom he works for. He drives her children to and fro school. He is 37 years old.
I told him he has to think of ways to improve himself other than relying on a widow (his sister). When we had both our traditional and white wedding, my family contributed 70 percent to see everything go well.
After the wedding, he said if only his in-laws was alive, referring to his sister’s husband, my family would have known that he also has people. I asked him what his in-law do for him when he was alive.
Fast-forward to when he got admission and needed to pay the acceptance fee. He asked me and I told him, “OK, on my way from church, I’ll use the ATM.” I gave him 11k. My husband is the kind of person who relies 100 per cent on his family, yet they’ve done nothing for him.
A week later, he told me about his school fees and I told him, “go and meet your sister, after all she is owing you some money.”
READ ALSO: Dear MIMsters: My Feelings Are Out of Control For A Married Man Who Did This To Me
He works for her but hardly pays him. He flared up and said after all I was the one who initiated this school idea, he didn’t want to go about disturbing his sister because she is a widow, meanwhile all this while I knew I was gonna pay this money.
Two days after, I gave him 40k for the school fees. He was happy and resumed school.
One month after he resumed school, I went to his sister’s house for a visit but he didn’t go with me. He called me and told me not to tell his sister that I paid his school fees that he’s expecting some money from her.
I said to him, “if you are expecting some money from her, why didn’t you tell me from day 1?”
He said he was planning to give me back the money and said he is not straight forward.
When I had a miscarriage, his sister gave him N1500 to get me some fruits. I told my parents, siblings so they can appreciate her, then I called and thanked her. So, I asked him, how come I gave him 51k for school fees and he hid it from every member of his family? I said, “if you truly love me, you will appreciate me. No member of his family is ready to support him with just 2k
READ ALSO: Dear Mimsters: If I Don’t Pay Heed To This Prophecy, I May Lose My Marriage But It’s Not That Simple
Later, I saw the form he filled in the school, lo and behold he used his sister as his next of kin, even though his marital status is married. We’ve been married for 10 months. I was so angry, all hell was let loose. He was muttering rubbish, when he saw every one faulted him, he had nothing to say.
This Christmas, I had nothing left after I paid school fees and other bills at home. I had nothing left to give him mom, so I thought he would have told his mum his wife did this or that for him. His mum would have been wondering why I didn’t give her anything. I’ve made up my mind to mind my business and let him handle his bills himself. What do you think?
I dunno how ladies see big ditch clearly and yet they will land into the ditch and start asking of how to get out. For how long do you intend to support this man that doesn’t even have plans for his future? I s it just about getting married and changing your marital status?
My sister u initiated ur own problems……… U made him understand that you have the money, making him feel that he’s shouldn’t hustle for any thing at all. As for d school is a good idea but since at his age he hasn’t gotten any good job and he is still depending on his widow sister for help which she renders and he keeps to himself. I would have been better you open a business which u can be able to monitor for him. As for the money aspect you and ur family mad understand that there is money so him bringing money home to you is like adding a drop of water ???? in an ocean. Just pray that he changes.. Good luck
Why are you being responsible for a grown man? You are treating him like a kid. Please allow him to fend for himself. He needs to man up and realize he now has responsibilities and shouldn’t rely on anyone. Please start minding your business oh. 10 months down forever to go a such a long time to be paying his bills please.
Please do. Let him go outside look for work and support himself in school. Your hubby is just showing signs of being an ungrateful, do you know what he must have been saying about you? Trust me in this hard time it’s hard to find a wife as supportive as you are, your husband is been sentimental. I won’t ask you to stop helping him because you have started already but what I would say is please don’t ever invest all your Money in him. His character is corny. If not why would you cough out that amount of money for him and he can’t even ask his sister or mother to thank you. Forget we are humans, but everyone needs to be appreciated and to think of him using his sister as a next of kin when he has you is a sign you should be on a look out for. The bottom line is your husband is a man he should go and get something much reasonable to do and stop depending on you or his sister for his source of survival. Above all commit your ways to the Lord. He will guide you, teach you and show you the way.