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Dear MIMsters: How Else Can I Verify What He Does For a Living?

Dear MIMsters: How Else Can I Verify What He Does For a Living?

I have been in a relationship with a guy I love so much for four months and I do not know what he does for a living.

He is older than me with 11 years. (I do not have a problem with that). The problem is he really wants to marry me as soon as possible, but I don’t think I am ready yet for these reasons listed below.

1) I am not yet 100 percent sure of what he does for a living. He told me that he buys and sells buildings or houses. I’ve seen his work ID card and according to him, it’s registered under CAC, but he doesn’t have an office yet.

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I am wondering how a company can be registered under CAC without an office address. Is that possible? He also said he travels abroad to buy goods (either clothes or fabrics), to sell them here in Nigeria.

2) He has met with my Dad who is OK with his family background (actually, we once lived in the same neighborhood and attended the same church before his mum died. What worries my Dad is what he does for a living.

My dad said his sources aren’t exactly sure of what he does for a living.

3) My elder brother isn’t also in support of our relationship. His reason is because he thinks most guys from Imo state are independent and they live with and depend on their families for support. Or may flaunt a business that looks normal, while they are actually into Yahoo+ or something worse.

I don’t want to marry someone whose elder sisters control him like a remote because they are the ones fending for him.

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4) I am a 6 a.m-6 p.m worker in a private organisation, so I hardly have time to be with him as much as I want to, except on weekends when I create time for us to meet. This gives me less time to get to know or observe him more.

5) I’m not too impressed with the kind of friends that I have seen around him. Some of them are married but they don’t look responsible to me.

6) Aside his family’s house project that he is running now, I don’t see him doing anything else. When I asked him, he told me that he is planning to travel abroad to buy vehicle spare parts to sell in Nigeria.

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7) Personally, I plan to save and make some investments and to also further my academics. I don’t want marriage or anything to negatively alter my plans.

8) There are many people asking for my hand in marriage but I keep them at bay because I don’t have the strength and time to double date.

Kindly note that I am not after what he does for a living or his money, neither am I desperate for marriage. I don’t just want to make a mistake. I am the kind of person who hardly ask people for things. I even believe in contributing into a relationship as much as the man does.

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I just need a man who will understand me and support my dreams and I, his. In as much as I love this guy, I still have some feelings of doubt.

How can I hire someone to help me find out what this man is really into and who he really is. I don’t want to waste my time on someone who isn’t worth it.

View Comments (4)
  • Hire a PI to look into him and his activities. Be sure you know what he does before you jump in.

  • I just love the way you reason, please dig as deep as you can to avoid stories that touch.

  • U have enough reasons to walk away. I once dated a guy that told me he does the same type of work he does except that this one is not into buying and selling of houses. We dated for two years and I can’t say I was able to gather something tangible about him.

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