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Dear MIMsters: Is It Wrong To Marry My Late Wife’s Best Friend?

Dear MIMsters: Is It Wrong To Marry My Late Wife’s Best Friend?

Is it wrong to marry my late wife’s best friend? Before you judge me, please read my story.

I was happily married to my wife until I lost her to cancer over two years ago. I was devastated.

Our marriage produced 3 lovely children all under the age of 6. I had no idea how I was going to continue to raise all 3 kids without their mother who managed the home-front very well. I have a well paying job but an equally demanding one.

Meanwhile, my wife had a best friend, Tola. They have been great friends even before I met my wife. She stepped in immediately after my wife’s death to look after the kids and help out with the running of the home. My in-laws were not happy with that and criticised are every move.

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The funny thing was they couldn’t offer much help while Tola who ran her own business shelved it aside to help pick up the kids from and school, after which she will help them with home-work before I returned. She understood their needs and was able to respond to them in a way that my in-laws would not have been able to do, and they loved her too.

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I appreciated her help. Soon after, my appreciation turned to admiration and I was always looking forward to her visits. I became very fond of her and she’s got a very interesting personality.

The bottomline is I would like to make her my wife but inlaws are objecting. Don’t I have a right to remarry, even if it’s my late wife’s best friend?

View Comments (39)
  • Where were ur inlaws when Tola was there for d kids? Pls oga marry her. Nothing is wrong with that. The kids re already use to her.

  • I don’t like the fact that she is your late wife’s friend. You have not given another woman a chance if not you will see better caring women out there. Let her go n meet someone else. I agree with your own in laws

  • There’s nothing wrong with marrying your late wife’s friend so far she’ll not change her behaviour because some women can be so funny in the sense that some act nice to get your attension but the moment you marry such they show you their true colour. But in your case it may not be so, if she’s real, even your late wife will endorse your marrying her. I pray she doesn’t change especially now that your kids are fond of her. Marrying her is not a bad idea but just pray about it and study her carefully.

  • Remarrying is not a good idea but wife’s friend is a No. I appreciate all she did for but am sure she did it for a friend so don’t do things that will make you look like a bad person.

  • My dear go on with Tola if she is really good ad if she will not change tomorrow ad start matriting ur kids

  • You should remarry but be very careful as this caring character could change once she becomes Mrs or when she starts having her own kids.Accrpt my sympathy on your wife’s demise.Just pray and be very careful who you marry so your kids don’t turn to slaves in their own house

  • It’s somehow for u to marry ur wife’s bestfriend! Haba! E get as e be joh! There are so many good women out there u can choose from. It will look as if u guys were having an affair even b4 ur wife died. Tongue would definitely wag.

  • pls give your late wife some respect.
    her best friend? is there no other woman in the world ………

  • So sorry about ur wife. It’s difficult to see women like dat. I don’t see anything wrong about ur intention. Wether u marry her or someone else, pple will still talk. Pls follow ur heart. All the best!

  • I don’t support u marrying ur wife’s best friend. Pls look for another nice lady and marry. imagine ur wife marrying ur best friend if the case was the reverse God forbid. For the sake of our beloved wife memory and respect let her go.

  • You can remarry buh not ur late wife’s friend. She is acting nice and all dat now, she May change wen she becomes Mrs, try intoducing another lady to her nd know if d nice and all dat wil contunue.

  • You can remarry buh not ur late wife’s friend. She is acting nice and all dat now, she May change wen she becomes Mrs, try intoducing another lady to her nd know if d nice and all dat wil continue.

  • You Should marry her If you are truly convinced that she is really a good person and she will make you happy

  • Please if she pleases your heart, go for her because I think she is better and your kids are fond of her and used to her already

  • its not a good idea please. put yourself in your wife’s shoes, will you be happy if she did this. how can she sacrifice everything just ho cater for her friend’s kids n yours am sure? she hopes you marry her in return n u r planning just dt. in my own opinion I think u shd look for another lady pls. this woman might definitely change once she becomes a Mrs towards d kids esp wen she has hers. abeg shine ya eyes, women r very crafty. m not discouraging u though

  • to me,i dont support ur wife’s friend, look for another woman b cus soon dey will say u both planned her death even when they know its cancer

  • You pple just make comment because u want to say something have u ever thought may be is the will of God or not, what if @ her dying bed she made a request that her beat friend should marry her husband. We should pray that she is not pretend n God should guide him in the right way. If she is pretending it will definitely show. So pls mr fast n pray about it n follow ur mind good or bad it’s ur decision, we are human we can’t be perfect.

  • ..Till death do us part.
    At times we’re too sentimental. Where does the issue of being disrespectful to the memory of his late wife arise here.
    Tola didn’t kill her.
    You are not under the control of your in-law.
    You have your life to live now. Move on.
    If that’s what your heart desires, please go ahead but ensure that your children are at ease with her.
    In fact I’ve seen a dying wife that recommended her younger sister to her husband to be his wife after her demise. They are happily married even up till now.
    A known devil is better than an unknown angel.
    All the best.

  • introduce another woman to her.and see if she’ ll still keep the good work going,but she does go on to marry her.

  • Can’t you see what’s she is doing?She is taking advantage of your state of mind.Immediately you marry her,she will turn your kids into maids.In short she has been envying your wife and wanting to take her position. We women self..

  • You should really give this matter serious consideration before making any decision. Don’t be carried away by a spur of the moment. There’s absolutely nothing wrong in remarrying especially if whoever it is,will be all that you want her to be for you and your kids and even more!I implore you to pray very well and let God guide you.

  • Sir, if truly she is really nice then I wonder why she’s not being married all these years, she’s being nice for a reason, I doubt TV her intentions are pure,and I guess ur in-laws must have known her before u, so they have every course to be worried I’ll suggest you try someone else and see what her reactions would be, I’ve once been in this shoe when I lost my mom, she turned out to be the devil and only saw my mums demise as an opportunity to finally get married hence her niceness to us. Plz look well

    • Please, look for a young widow with one or two kids, who is also willing to remarry! I’m very sure, since she has been there, having lost a dear husband too, she will be a better person to take good care of your kids, bringing them up along side hers!

  • Don’t marry her ……cos who knows as soon as u marry her ..she becomes something else to your kids….don’t be carried away by her present display please .why not make arrangements with ur inlaws in taking care of ur kids….I perceive dat tola is doing all these to get ur attention and fill in your wife position…have u ever think dat if u where d one dead and ur best friend was tola what will ur disposition be ?…..distance urself from tola if possible cut d ties so dat u can think straight ,pray right or else …..I definitely will never like d outcome…those. Children are innocent young they need their father to think straight pray right choose carefully and not be selfish or fall into a deceptive snare dat will jeopardize deir future…this marriage thing oga give it sometime and don’t rush …by d way it is said”awoof dey run belle”

  • My advice is sit her dn n tlk wt her beliv me u ll pik a point or 2 dat ll encurage u t mry her or nt pls my broda i knw u has respect t ur late wife n luv too. Everything dat is happening now is by d ill of God so my broda d luv n respt u n ur late share togeda n d luv of God dat is upon dos kids
    ill nt allow d devul t manifest in her life go ahead n mry her she ill make u n d kids happy becus d spirit of her bstfrnd ill torment her if she wicked dos kids. After all u hv neva seen or hard anytin evil about her so muv on

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