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Dear MIMsters: Should I Allow My MIL To School And Raise My Kids?

Dear MIMsters: Should I Allow My MIL To School And Raise My Kids?

Kindly help advise on this confusing issue I am faced with. Should I allow my MIL raise my kids?

I am a Ghanaian who lives in Ghana with my husband and two girls, 3 and 5 years-old respectively. My mother-in-law lives comfortably in Nigeria with her husband who is a diplomat.  She’s been more than a mum to me.

She loves me and I also love her very much. I have been married to her first son for 6 years now. I must confess she is the mother I never had. My kids are really close to her and are always with her when she visits or we visit them in Abuja for holiday.

READ ALSO: Dear MIMsters: Am I Endangering My Son’s Life By Ignoring This Matter

The issue is that she wants to take my girls to the Regent school in Abuja where her three kids finished schooling before furthering to France and the UK. She says it’s a very good school the kids will be happy with.

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Should I let the girls go, considering the fact that she is their Grandmum and might pamper them too much? Is the Regent School in Abuja really good? I am 7 months pregnant and wish the girls would be here when their little sister arrives.

Isn’t it a mother’s responsibility to train her kids, albeit busy? Please advise me. Should I let them go for a the better education and be raised with a Grandmum who will be there for them or I should let them stay with me? My husband thinks it’s a good opportunity for our kids but I am confused.

View Comments (25)
  • I will advise u let them go with her, sure it’s a boarding school, once they are on break they can be back in your arms. but if your heart is not strong enough pls let them be in your care

  • madam u dnt hv a problem let dem go so u wouldt start havin problems wit ur MIL if after d first session u dnt like how tinz r u can ask dem to com back

  • They are way too young my dear to live apart from their parents. Boarding school at 3 and 5 years, no way! Pls, stay with your children, there is a family bond that is formed at this early age that you will lose if you let them go. They can be with grandma at high school age. I’m speaking from experience. All the best.

  • they are too young for that.I will never let my kid’s DAT young outta my sight.if u ask me dey too young

  • Madam, so we dont have any good school in Ghana huh? The kids are too small oooh, they are just trying to play smart on you because of our inheritance system. They just want the kids to be in Nigeria. Madam, open your eyes. think fast.

  • I’m not comfortable with putting kids of those ages in boarding school.For me they are too young.If they are up to 10yrs better

  • No, they’re still too young dear..let them stay with you for now , they can be with grandmother at high school age abeg…Allow your children bond as family.

  • I think it’s too early for your kids to part with their parents. They are way too young. Although some parents do it successfully but considering the fact that you are outside d country, I don’t think it’s d best. Let your husband be the one to tell his parents in a manner that will not make ur Mil angry.

  • As much as we want the best for our children, does not mean we should do what will cause pain. The children are still too far young to be separated from you,, the mother, more so to be put in the boarding school. Have a heart to heart talk with your husband, so he could convince his mother to let the children grow a bit more before putting them in the boarding school. You guys can be visiting.

  • No matter wat I can’t leave my kids to anyone, Dnt get me wrong ur MIL might be a nice person dat really cares for the kids but i wil want to be responsible for my kids upbringing, #myopinion#

  • The responsibility of caring for children was given to parents by God. You have an obligation to train, shape, discipline and correct your kids in these areas. It is your God gives job to do. Explain that to your husband and I agree with other comments that they are too young to be in boarding school. Explain and thank Grand mum for the offer but you will prefer they stay with you. Do so politely and respectfully.

  • They are your kids it’s this time of their life that you will have the opportunity to bond with them and establish a lifelong relationship . It’s your responsibility to train them hope. So no please don’t let them go

  • My individual thought on this is your MIL trained her wards in her own term, her own way. You have a family to cater for, why must she dictate what goes on in your family? How to take care of your wards? They are still little angels, let them be in your care till they can stand on their own and of age.

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